You, all of us, catched Alexander at his best moments - when he was feeling least sick, sad, tired and afraid.
I've had some deeper convo's with him and he told me a couple of times that it often is easier to not show most of these feelings. And that he came to chat to get cheered up most of the time.
He spent most of the time in bed btw and could still come online, because he had a laptop.
Well, I guess what i'm trying to say is that he wasn't always happy and 'bubbly'. We just got to see his sunny side much more often. He just didn't show his insecurities etc as much.
Esp after he got attacked in the hospital he was much more scared and hurt then he would let on most of the time.
Also, all this time he, we, most people were thinking he was going to beat this... the prognosis was good... the chemo was doing its job... He was really looking forward to the future, talking about school and things like that.
I guess just take one day at a time and try to think of the positive things in your life. There must be some. Talk about it whit people, here, in rl, or in chat. Make sure you do fun things too. Try to look at the things that you can do, instead of what you can't do anymore. Cut down on the booze and bad food, living healthy probably makes you feel more fit and more up to doing things then when continuing this lifestyle.
I'm sure you know all that already too and i dont wanna be preaching but I just thought I would write down some of the things i could think of. Anyway, take care.
You lost the things that you thought you would never miss.
You let them out and miss them while they're gone
But there's memories down here and they will always live down here
No they can't take them away, so they won't