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#17535 - 06/03/04 03:45 PM faulty memory
lee75 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/04
Posts: 37
Loc: utah
If anyone can help shed some light on this subject i'd appreciate it.

i have a hard time remembering anything from age 16 on back. i can remember some stuff if i am reminded about it. i know that i have a propensity to forget things as a way of dealing with the problems i have. the trouble is im trying to learn how to deal with my problems and im so used to forgetting that i file them away and space them off.
i remember no SA. but.....
my sister remembers. she was abused and tells me i was also. i know i have tons of the problems that come with SA. anyway...
any advice would be appreciated. coming here really helps me feel less abnormal. thanks guys.

_________________________
Lord, i hope this day is good. im feeling empty and misunderstood. i should be thankful, lord, i know i should, but lord, i hope this day is good. DON WILLIAMS

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#17536 - 06/03/04 04:12 PM Re: faulty memory
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Lee75,

If you recognize the effects and your sister recalls that you were abused, why not take advantage of whatever helps? Coming here helps, so keep coming here. If you have the kind of problems that typically result from sexual abuse, well, a lot of us have noticed that the kind of treatment that works is often therapy, maybe meds.

I would advise against trying to force yourself to remember. I tried that, but no more. For myself, I don't like disturbing memories. They'll show up in their own time, when I'm ready for them. I'll let them be.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#17537 - 06/03/04 04:33 PM Re: faulty memory
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
I've had trouble remembering the specifics, too. I didn't remember anything at all until several years ago.

I've found that remembering the specifics is not the problem. The fact that I have and am experiencing PTSD-like symptoms is enough to tell me that something really terrible happened to me.

What do I want to accomplish for myself? I want to be able to interact with people more effectively and with greater depth. I want to feel self-confident and happy. I want a positive outlook on life.

For me, that's about dealing with the symptoms not remembering the past.

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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#17538 - 06/03/04 09:25 PM Re: faulty memory
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I think that 'faulty memory' is not so uncommon with us as survivors. Some of us disocciated during some of the abuse, and the memories are kept in a different part of our brains. Sometime those memories can be retrieved, other times they will not be. But I do believe if you show signs of having been abused, and that your sister knows it and claims you were also, it is worth trying to rediscover yourself, and work at getting yourself past the abuse affects. I wish you good luck, and I hope that you will get help to deal with whatever issues you have now.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#17539 - 06/04/04 08:55 PM Re: faulty memory
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Lee,

Accept what your sister is telling you. Don't be afraid to ask her questions when you are ready to do the asking.

Our memories are faulty to the extent that we tend to block out very traumatic events and disassociate. Our mind saving us from the moment. Further compounded by the fact they don't always come back in complete memories and time line means nothing to them. The memories come back as your mind feels you are ready for them and as the surroundings/environment calls for.

They will come out in their own time, as you are ready for them or when they must. Don't push it. Don't try to drag them out, that can be overwhelming and push you back many steps.

Take care,
Bill (the guy with a swiss cheese memory)

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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