I'm not sure exactly when my abuse started but it was roughly around the age of 5. My sexual abusers were my father and uncle. Other family members such as my mother new it was happening and yet did nothing. The abuse continued maybe until the age of 11 or so. just before the age of puberty and it stopped. its a long and complicated story as are most abuse stories. but this all came to the surface in my early twenties i had become severly depressed. i was drinking alot and engaging in activities that were not in harmony with my personality. so i decided i would go to the men of my church and ask them for help. well i didnt get it. after telling them about the abuse and everything that was happening with me. they decide to focus on the fact i was engaged in sexual activity. not that i was having nightmares, flashbacks and other problems. after along a humiliating process i was excommunicated from the church. because my conduct was unfitting of a christian. it felt like a nightmare this really couldnt be happening. i felt so stupid so ashamed i went to find help and was punched in the face. no one could talk to me (b/c i was shunned) except my parents who i had moved back home with. and they were the problem to begin with. so i i tried to commit suicide, i almost died but parents found me in time. (i had psychoic break) i was then hospitalized numerous times after that. it was pretty much downhill for the next 5 years of so. i was put on every medication you could think of and they didnt work. i received ECT treatments (electric shock treatments) for my depression. i went to therapy and defiantely had some bad therapists in the beginning. i slept about 8 hrs or more a day, i had hallucinations and nightmares constantly. my parents during this time were not supportive they took me to my appointments and that was it. they told me i wasnt abused and at the time i only remembered by uncle abusing me not my father. i was told he didnt do it. my uncle was arrested by the FBI for child pornography and trafficing, but he couldnt have abused me. my family was in denial and in fear that i would eventually point the finger at my father. at the same time im having flash backs and memories and my parents are telling me im wrong. i eventually got a little better and got married to my wife. once i was away from my toxic parents i started to straighten my life out. but my paretns had one last knife in the back for me. my parents owned their own businesses at the time and had become indebt to the irs and state goverment for taxes. so when i was not in my right mind during my electric shock treatments. they had me sign a document making me sole owner and president of their company. i was know repsonsible for all their financial debt. the state took my home and started to go after my wages. (at this point i hardly made any money). so my wife and i went to attorney who had me file for bankruptcy. that destroys your credit for 7-10 years. i couldnt believe this was happening. how could my parents, MY PARENTS do this. the abuse that happened was horriable and this on top of it, was mind numbing. i felt nothing for the longest time. i had nightmares, i was throwing up all the time, my stomach bothered me. so we moved out of that town and started over. i eventually confronted my parents about what happened. the abuse which they wouldnt even talk about and they said i was just crazy and it was my fault that i was crazy. then i asked them why they took advantage of me financially. my mothers exacty response was "we were desparate". can you imagine your parents telling you that basically we have destroyed your soul and mind. and know on top of it we are going to destroy you financially. we will take everything from you! that was the message. i talk with my therapist about it (who was shocked). and i told her i wasnt going to speak to them anymore that they were unhealthy and harmful to me. she agreed and i havent spoken with them in over 6 years.

now for the good stuff. i stuck with my therapy (i have an awesome therapist) and have worked through most of my issues. yes i still have issues and they rear their ugly heads but i know how to handle them. my wife and i have a happy life and yes we have our issues. but its ok now its normal stuff. im trying to live life in the moment and just enjoy it! i think its possible to overcome even the most tragic events in our lifes. we just need one or two be who believe in us and for us to believe in ourselves. keep working at it, its worth it!