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#174952 - 08/22/07 10:34 AM Question for Christian Survivors
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
How hard was it for you to surrender your heart to God and be saved after your abusive pasts? This is my biggest concern for my H - that he has never trusted God enough to be saved. I just wondered if there is anything I can do (besides pray) that he can come to that point of trust. He still does not trust anyone, so I imagine it is hard even to open his heart to the Lord.

This is a very painful realization for me, that his abuse may keep him away from God for all eternity b/c of trust issues.

Any comments would be welcome.

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#174961 - 08/22/07 10:57 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Brokenhearted]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Long – But please read Brokenhearted

When I was 10 – 14 I was acting-out on a grand scale. I was going after sexual encounters with older boys and flirting with adults in a dangerous way. I was selling it for trades and/or cash. I had no hope. Drugs, disease and death were a certain future for me.

During the summer that I turned 14, I went to Cape Cod to live with my two older sisters who had rented a beach house for the year. It was a nice house full of hippie-types who partied like crazy people and played loud music. Some even played instruments and I really liked being around them. They amused me. I also fully expected to have encounters with either the guys or the girls there. It was to be a party-oriented stay for the month of August, 1974.

My sisters met me at the bus terminal in Hyannis. They instantly began to tell me about Jesus and this new “salvation” they had found. All I could think was “this CANT be good for my party plans.” It was a long summer of dealing with them, their street-witnessing, prayer meetings and bible studies. See…I had to go along with them on a lot of that. I hated it!!! I also FIRMLY believed that I, Rob Brown, could never have his soul saved by virtue of what I had been involved in. So none of this “Christian stuff” applied to me. Rather…. I just wanted to be on the beach, partying, or out on my sailboat isolating.

There was this one street evangelist (David) whom latched onto me. Guess what I thought he wanted? Well…it turns out all he wanted was for me to accept Jesus as my savior. He pursued me all over the cape. Once he walked about 10 miles to find me on the beach where I road my bike to get to. So, given that he walked all that way, I felt obliged to listen to him for what turned out to be the next 5 hours. Went through the bible and all of my “even though” objections. Even though I’ve done this with older boys? YES….Even though I do THAT? Yes…. Even though I’d do you now? Yes. Jesus would accept me no matter what I had done…no matter what I was.

The next day, I walked out to the beach and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior. I was struck-down to the ground by the holy spirit and laid there bawling my eyes out for hours. My life changed from that moment-on. It was not a perfect life. I struggled with acting-out via drugs and alcohol in my 20s (no sexual acting out). But I would be dead without the saving grace of God.

I hope this story helps. If your husband wants to chat live, I’d be happy to talk with him via MS chatroom.


_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

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#174962 - 08/22/07 11:03 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Still]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Brokenhearted,

I just want to say - don't underestimate the power of your praying. I saw my brother-in-law come to Christ after 25 years of saying he'd "never be good enough for God". My sister refused to give up praying for him. Hold fast.

And a quick note to Rob - thanks for sharing your story. It gave me a new lease on rejoicing - remembering the incredible love God has for us all.

M


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#174964 - 08/22/07 11:10 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Still]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Brokenhearted,

I have to admit that here I am of no use to you at all. Though I am making good progress on almost all fronts in my recovery, as a spiritual person I feel I am as broken as I was when I was a kid getting raped a couple times a week.

I hear others talk about their spiritual healing and their closeness to God, but all that is just words to me. I think it's great they have that, but I can't imagine how they got to that point or how I would do the same.

I can't say I worry about being saved. Hell holds no terror for me; I figure I've already spent 16 years there, so at least I know my way around. I just feel empty and vaguely sorry at the way things are. Don't get me wrong; I do feel I'm a spiritual person. I believe in God and I wish I were closer to him; I just don't think the feeling is mutual.

Now there's an unhelpful post! I'll just send this instead of deleting it, though, since it may be useful for you to know your husband's feelings are shared by others.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#174978 - 08/22/07 11:37 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: roadrunner]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Larry,

I fully understand your position here. At the same time, I am very sorry to read it. But you are right, it ough to help BH with understanding her H's position as well.

All I can say to you Larry is that God did not LET that happen to you. He never left you. There is true evil in this world and it found its way to you.

God does love you. You are alive, wonderful and have a substantial life.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

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#174981 - 08/22/07 11:42 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Still]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Amen, Rob. I couldn't have said it better.


M


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#174985 - 08/22/07 11:55 AM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: MarkK]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
I come from a christian family and they have been very devoted to god all thier lives. (at least on the outside for people to see).
As a child i got religious instruction, and attended sunday school. It was all church on sunday and bible reading at night. I could never think how can my parents be christians and then do things to me, and let others do things to me. This might be off topic, but you guys have faith and belief. Whilst i grew up either raging and hating god. Then asking him how he could let this happen to me. I still cannot answer this question.

Backspin


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#174987 - 08/22/07 12:01 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
See...I went through a hell too. I was raped on a regular basis form 7.5 years-old to 10.5 yo. I dont look at it as God "letting it happen to me." As a kid, I did think he had fully left me. But evil happens! During that summer of 1974, he found me through the use of others and brought me home to him.

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#174999 - 08/22/07 12:35 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Still]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
I too, wondered why God would let it happen to me and certainly felt lots of anger towards Him. In my recovery, I was once presented with the concept that one reason it happened to me was so that i could be the one to ensure the continuation of molesting children would stop with me. Does that thought take away all of my anger at God? No, but at least I can say one of the good things that has come from my experience is that I don't have the desire to molest children and I am grateful to feel that way.


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#175092 - 08/22/07 07:29 PM Re: Question for Christian Survivors [Re: Barney]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i'm with you all the way larry,and everyday i see no reason to change my mind . i envy the people who can believe that somebody watches over them ,just dont know how the do it. all i know is it takes some damn strong faith to believe, after what happend to the 4000 guys that call this place home ,im glad those who have kept it

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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