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#174579 - 08/20/07 10:20 PM If you read my book please help.
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
My wife is promoting my book and sent it to a christian radio station. They are hesitant about it because it is so graphic, and I am begining to question that myself.

My question:

In order to bring CSA to the public do you think that I could have written it without the "raw" material and if so would you have liked the book more?

Or do you think that letting my thoughts hit the pages without holding back was the way to go?

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#174584 - 08/20/07 10:23 PM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: John Oarc]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
my own 2 cents ...

if a book is detailed and graphic - it can trigger people. of course, so can "gentle language" - but I think "raw" material triggers more.

that said - I would probably opt for a gentler approach, just so I didn't have someone pick up the book and get severely triggered.

now - if your book has warnings - then maybe there's nothing to worry about.

... but that's me.


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#174614 - 08/21/07 02:42 AM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: MarkK]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
John,

I believe there is something to be said for either approach. For instance, who is your target audience? Probably if you are going for the Right Wing Conservative reader, you may not want it written exactly the way yours is, but the book will certainly suit other readers just fine.

This topic has come up a couple of times recently on the site. My personal belief is that we as a society tend to strip a story down. Rob it of it's punch in an effort to make it palatable for the milk toast readers. I say that is wrong. The topic of CSA needs to be presented in all it's horror not dumbed down to the point where it's just an entertaining story. Making it that hides from the reader the horrific impact the abuse has on the child and the grown adult.

On the other hand, perhaps a very talented author can somehow present the horror of the story simply by use of the language without being overly graphic. I think those authors are rare and I envy them their talent. They are so rare that were we to depend on them to present the story, it may not get presented.

My two cents.

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#174627 - 08/21/07 07:18 AM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: WalkingSouth]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Thanks guys,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#174631 - 08/21/07 07:32 AM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: John Oarc]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
John you have me thinking now.

If anyone has read my book would you say that I presented it; overly graphic, just enough, not enough?

It is hard for me to say, I feel like writing out the night of the abuse was a way of releasing it, exposing it in full and that is the only part of the book that I can think of that may trigger anyone. The rest of the book describes my life and struggles.

Let me know what you think,

Thanks again,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#174653 - 08/21/07 11:17 AM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: John Oarc]
AJC Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 108
Loc: Illinois, USA
I will let you know what I think after I read it. I'm hoping it arrives by this weekend. (I ordered it Saturday - so probably not til next week).

-AJC


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#174788 - 08/21/07 07:43 PM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: AJC]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
I am looking forward to your review.


Thanks all,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#175103 - 08/22/07 08:29 PM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: John Oarc]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
John,

I have read your book and reviewed it for our MS newsletter, and, for what my view is worth, I didn't find it overly graphic.

You do specify what happened when you were abused, but, well, what were you supposed to do? Talk about it in euphemisms that obscure even the basic facts of what happened to you? If I were writing a book like this I would never agree to do that. It's almost like saying that after having been silenced for all those years, now you are to be silenced again. What? You were supposed to endure the abuse, but now your audience should be spared the shock of reading what happened to that boy? Sounds like bullshit to me!

The other thing you do is talk about your feelings after your wife's affair and all the haunting questions that came to your mind. Again, how do you convey the trauma of all that without calling things by their name?

Finally, I'm not sure why a Christian radio station would be hesitant about drawing attention to a book that gives an honest account of one man's struggle with the issues of sexual abuse. Shouldn't our religious leaders be taking a stand? Since when do Christians figure that CSA has nothing to do with them? It's denial like this that enables the church establishment (and not just in the Catholic church) to condone the abuse of thousands of boys by shuffling abusing clergy around without exposure or accountability.

Sorry for the rant. I'm just reacting to the ridiculous attitude of the radio station.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#175124 - 08/22/07 09:58 PM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: roadrunner]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Larry,

I must admit I have been secretly awaiting your thoughts on the book. A post popped up a few days ago and you mentioned that you had read it, stuggling, I held back from wanting to ask you what you thought in detail.

I have learned this over the last year or so as you may remember I was not as calm about it the day it hit the printers.

Now that I know I will get to hear your thoughts, WHEN CAN I GET A PEEK AT THE REVIEW!!!! lol.

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#175137 - 08/22/07 11:17 PM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: John Oarc]
Rambler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 134
Loc: Planet Earth
If one can read Revelations, one can read anything.


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#175186 - 08/23/07 08:20 AM Re: If you read my book please help. [Re: Rambler]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i dont think there is any way to sugar coat abuse ,it is what it is and anything but total honesty would not be telling it like it is.

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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