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#176809 - 08/29/07 10:53 AM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: savemyfam]
GraceM Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/27/07
Posts: 6
Loc: Oklahoma
I am not a religious person. But if one asks where is g-d in the protection of the innocent - then where has He been during so many of the evil things man does to man? The Holocaust? Wars? Famine? G-d driven disasters? Why does a tornado take one family and spare the ones next door? They usually say "G-d was looking out for us." Does that mean he said, "Fuck off" to the people who did die?

I don't think - if there is an actual g-d - that it works like that. I have been reading in the paper in my town (OKC)recently about all these kids who have died at the hands of their parents or boyfriends of parents - kids that were given BACK to their families by judges - and who were again abused and finally killed. Where was g-d then? Where was their protector?

It just doesn's work that way. What we should hope for in the future - is that man (the village) will help protect its children - often from their own parents - sometimes from strangers - sometimes by other family members. Its been going on since the beginning of mankind. It happens in the animal kingdom. A friend of mine had a dachshund who had puppies. He left after the puupies weer born to go to the store. When he returned there were no puppies to be seen. The mommy had eaten everyone of them. Talk about post-partum depression! So its not just us humans.

After i was raped at 14 - and beaten quite badly - and cut by a knife they wielded - I wondered what I had done to deserve that. Had I been provacative? Had I "asked" for it? I didn't report it. I only told a girlfriend. I knew that I wouldn't be believed. I was a freak anyway - a radical - even at 14. So I knew it would only drag me down. I wasn't even sure my "Mother" would believe me.

Only in my 30'sa (I am in my 50's now) did I decide it was just one of those crappy things. I was wearing adress that went to me ankles. I was weariung underwear. I had been dancing but it was 60's dancing - not dirty dancing. When I went outside for a breath of fresh air, that was all I was doing. I didn't even see those guys until it was too late. two guys looking for an opportunity. I realized at 30 that I was simply an unfortunate victim of a very violent crime. Period. Doesn't make the haunting of me any easier - but it does relieve me of blame. I spent a lifetime blaming myself for not screaming, not fghting them, for going outsiude in the first place.....just like most of you guys who spend a lifetime of shame and blame...why us?

I was not protected by anyone. It just happens because bad shit happens to people. And bad shit happens because there are lots of very bad people.

I hope my assailants ended up with bad karma and they have in some way paid for what they did to me. I'll never know. Sometimes it doens't work that way either.

I just think its time for me (and my wonderful husband) to set aside the anguish and try to find some bits of happiness to hang on to. To go on and have a relartively good life. i wish the same for every victim in here. I wish for happiness for all of us.

Grace


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#176813 - 08/29/07 11:07 AM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: GraceM]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
thev only thing offensive about this post is me , i deleted my response cause it was stupid. sorry k?



Edited by shadowkid (08/29/07 05:40 PM)
_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#176816 - 08/29/07 11:14 AM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: savemyfam]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
Originally Posted By: savemyfam

God wants to make the enemy pay for bringing that trouble into your life.


There has always been and always will be a struggle of good and evil in the world. God has given all of us "free will" which means we can choose do be good or be evil. Unfortuantely many choose to be evil and do evil things.

By no means am I disregarding the evil horrible things that have happened to you and your husband Grace, you were both the victims of evil.

God does not promise us to be happy in our lives, he does promise to help us through the hard times if we believe in him. He does promise us to be happy when we go home to him.

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#176842 - 08/29/07 11:46 AM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: savemyfam]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
Hi Shadowkid!!

I don't take your response as picking on - I understand being angry.

I won't say that I understand your anger - I don't have an ounce of understanding what you've been through. I do know the anger of losing my wonderful, loving and nurturing mother when I just turned 13. I understand being angry at God for taking her away, and being angry at my mom for leaving me. Add to that being in a Catholic school when she died and the priest giving me an hour long lecture during class confession that my mom was happier being in heaven - that given the choice she would choose to stay in heaven rather than being here with her husband and 6 children that meant everything to her. I still can't believe that I didn't blurt out for him to F himself because that's all I kept thinking during his "helpfull" lecture.

My faith is very private to me and I don't force my beliefs on anyone. I have come to thank God for all the good things in my life - my children, my family and friends etc. I stopped asking why God "lets" bad things happen to us and just started to ask him to help me through the bad things.

I hope I haven't offended you!!

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#176933 - 08/29/07 03:14 PM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: savemyfam]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
Frog,

I didn't read the article that you posted until well after I put the daily inspiration from Joel Osteen. You come up with the best articles!!!! This is another one that I'm going to print out and send to my husband.

Thanks!

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#177011 - 08/29/07 08:28 PM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: savemyfam]
emptydreamer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/07
Posts: 276
Loc: Midwest USA
While it may not be the most popular opinion here, I have to agree with you Frog.

I to was raised as a Christian, and when I'm in trouble, I still find myself asking for his help, and then, I question why I do so.

What kind of God would allow such a thing. Fuck the free will crap.
What kind of God would take the mother away from young children?
What kind of God would allow a father to do such things to his own children?
What kind of plan would he have to have that can include such horrible things?

If this is his plan, I wish he would have left me out of it!!!
I didn't ask to be included in his grand scheme of things, he needs to develop a better plan if he wants me to remain on board!!!

Best wishes and warmest regards,
Scott

_________________________
I'm here for a reason. Failure is not an option.

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#177071 - 08/29/07 11:13 PM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: emptydreamer]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
Hi Scott!

I totally respect your feelings. There are a few things that I can answer because it is in direct reference to what I said as to why I can understand anger.

It sucked huge to loose my mom, especially at the age that I truly needed her. It was an enormous empty hole in me for a long time. I was justified at being angry. The only thing that I can say about it is that it shaped me into the person that I am. It has made me strong as nails. My family did not fall apart, we pulled together and looked out for and cared for each other. We are to this day the closest family that I know. We are still there for each other and it means the world to me - especially now because of the trials that my sons and I are going through because of my husbands CSA. It also made me be a good mom to my sons and put them and their well being as first priority in life.

As for God having a plan for me and me trusting in Gods plan - that very simply means that today I find myself a 44 year old woman with a 14 year old and 11 year old son and my husband, their father has checked out. My plan in life was that my husband and I were going to grow old together, that isn't going to happen - we have become the victims of his CSA also. This was so devestating to me that I had to trust in Gods plan. I am a person that takes action and makes things all better, I can't make this all better - it's bigger than me, so I trust that God knows whats going to happen and what needs to happen. It is a genuine letting go and trusting God. It gives me peace in all of my husband's chaos.

Again, I don't know why such evil lives in our world, but I do know that there is alot of pure good in the world as well. I choose to be the best person that I can be and focus on the good in life - that's what I thank God for, all the good things that surround me, that is my "free will" that I choose for me.

I hope this doesn't sound preachy, that is not my intention. It has taken along time for me to get to the point that I'm at with my faith and I am grateful that I've gotten here, it gets me through what can be a pretty lousy life at times.

I wish you peace!

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#177790 - 09/02/07 11:16 AM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: shadowkid]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
Originally Posted By: shadowkid
thev only thing offensive about this post is me , i deleted my response cause it was stupid. sorry k?


Shadowkid,

I don't find you offensive in the least bit!! I find you to be extremely honest and candid. I didn't think your response was stupid either, it's where your at in life - right now in your recovery. So absolutely no apology is needed.

I didn't feel that my beliefs were threatened by your response either, I'm very strong in my faith.

I've been drawn to this site since my husband and I seperated 3 months ago and have done alot of reading. Over and over I'm so struck by your responses to people, you have great insight and wisdom. You say exactly whats on your mind - sometimes brutally honest, but I admire honesty.

I have noticed that you participate in discussions about faith, and that while you are angry at God for what has happened to you, you really want to believe. God whispered to me for a long time before I really listened to what he was saying to me. He waited very patiently for me.

Sorry - here comes the preachy part - Listen to what God is whispering to you.

It's all very simple really, I waited for the voice of God to say "Angie I'm here". It never happened of course. It was a gradual realizing of how much God was working in my life every minute of the day. If I were to detail what I've had to deal with since I had my husband arrested 3 months ago, you'd be horrified. 2 years ago all of this would have put me on the edge of a nervous breakdown, today I deal with everything with God's help and I know that I'm not in this alone.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I think you rock!!!!!!

Angie

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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#177796 - 09/02/07 01:24 PM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: savemyfam]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
thanks,sometimes i talk before i think and i forget that everyone is not pissed off at the world like i am ,im really glad they are not . when you been taught, pretty much forced to lie a lot to survive being told your honest means a lot thanks k?

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#177808 - 09/02/07 03:15 PM Re: Where was GOD? Why did this happen? [Re: shadowkid]
savemyfam Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 144
Loc: Chicago
You won't always be mad at the world!!

_________________________
God has a plan for me, I trust in God's plan.

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