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#174222 - 08/18/07 11:25 PM numb....
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
late last spring was when i really decided to deal with my abuse and get help. since then i have had so many emotions... every thing from reliving the fear and shame of the abuse... to feeling happy and free of it for the first time.

But the last 2 weeks or so i havnt felt anything i just feel numb. Is this normal?

I thought i was making some progress, and in some ways i think i have but right now i can't feel anything

I kinda just feel lost again.

Chris


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#174223 - 08/19/07 12:26 AM Re: numb.... [Re: theatrekid]
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
Chris,

I have gone through many phases like this. It's like I take three steps forward and two step back. Our minds need some time to process the changes that we are going through. Sometimes these phases lasted a week or two, other times it lasted a few months. Try to be patient with yourself. We can't be in sprint mode all the time; sometimes we need to take a leisurely walk for a while.

I would suggest that you try to have some fun this week. When I need a break, I try to spend some time outside. I play golf, take a long walk in the woods (hopefully NOT when I'm playing golf \:\) )! I also enjoy photography. Do some fun things just for you!

Brian

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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#174225 - 08/19/07 12:37 AM Re: numb.... [Re: Brian]
Frog Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 291
Loc: Arizona

This is normal... \:\)

My suguestion is during this time, every time you feel empty,
is to try and fill this time w/ things that YOU feel are
POSITIVE to you...

Things that YOU love...
Things that YOU enjoy...

hiking?
skating?
playing music?
snow boarding?
quading?
riding?
horses?

I would check out the thread about hobbies...
it's an eye opener... \:\)

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

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#174230 - 08/19/07 01:09 AM Re: numb.... [Re: Frog]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Brian and Frog

Thanks for the advice im going to a concert tomorrow then camping on tuesday maybe that will help.

but im not sure if it will because all last week i was on vacation doing things i love and i still just felt numb i was doing awsome things that i should have really enjoyed but it was like i just couldnt feel it.

maybe your right brian about always being in sprint mode. i think most of the summer "recovery" was all i thought about so maybe i just need a break from it?

thanks again for the advice,
Chris


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#174231 - 08/19/07 01:10 AM Re: numb.... [Re: Brian]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
oh one more thing Brian when ever i play golf i end up walking through the woods at least once... lol


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#174248 - 08/19/07 05:40 AM Re: numb.... [Re: theatrekid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Chris,

I have a brief comment on diversions for you. It's so easy to see ourselves as "Larry the Survivor" or "Chris the Survivor", but in fact what we need to do is focus on Larry and Chris first and survivor issues later on down the list. It's tempting to dwell and obsess on our issues, but that would be like being a carpenter who aims at owning and polishing his tools rather than at what he can do with those tools.

If you can, try to separate Chris from the abuse issues when you are in a position to relax and rest. I do that by interacting with people who share a love of mine - blues guitar - but have no clue I am a survivor. I don't share that with them because I need that break. It's great to sit with a bunch of cool guys who appreciate me as just ordinary me plunking away on an old dobro.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#174432 - 08/20/07 01:14 AM Re: numb.... [Re: roadrunner]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
Larry,

I know your right. but its hard to seperate your self from this stuff. i guess it just takes practice and time.

by the way larry thanks for the help, were do you find the time to give all of us your help?

Talk to you later,
Chris



Edited by theatrekid (08/20/07 01:57 PM)

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#174899 - 08/22/07 07:13 AM Re: numb.... [Re: theatrekid]
patch22 Offline
New Here

Registered: 07/24/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Ireland
Chris, know how you feel - bin ther, done that. I felt all sorts of weird emotions after my excitement when I first came out, including this feeling of numbness. It was a relief when I got hold of the book Victims No Longer - he gives a list of some of these feelings that survivors may have, and I realised that they were to be sort of expected.
So I'm pretty sure the numbness will get much less bad - hope it happens for you.

Paddy

_________________________
A dog is a man's best therapist

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#174907 - 08/22/07 07:46 AM Re: numb.... [Re: theatrekid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Chris,

Originally Posted By: theatrekid
its hard to seperate your self from this stuff. i guess it just takes practice and time.


So let's talk about this, here or in chat one day. Just let me know. The trick is to distinguish between things that you just have to wait for, and things where you can take positive action on your own behalf.

None of us has to sit numb and emotionally paralyzed, Chris. Sure, we use that as a refuge, but at the end of the day, what a way to waste our life, right?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#174911 - 08/22/07 07:56 AM Re: numb.... [Re: roadrunner]
jessedawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 345
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: roadrunner

None of us has to sit numb and emotionally paralyzed, Chris. Sure, we use that as a refuge, but at the end of the day, what a way to waste our life, right?


aint that the truth!

_________________________
Firefighters - your worst nightmare is just another day at the office.

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