I agree, this is the whole point of this thread. why do men seek out men they are not attacted to? they do it to replay the scenario where it is not about the guy, its about the penis.

So there is no difference if a guy is attractive or not, its part of the pattern. Cuz i am sure most of us never thought of whether our perp(S) were attractive or not.

But what if we do notice the eyes, smile, muscles, basket? we fantasize about a guy cuz he turns us on , not cuz he is just a cock. Well thats when gay feelings are real and not about recreating the abuse. Doesnt have to be exclusively gay, if you get aroused by a hot woman just as easily then thats where you are.

But dont beat yourself up for seeking out men you dont have attraction for, its clearly that CSA and like andrewT said there are ways of resolving that. You are most likely a str8 guy in this imprinting pattern and the guilt is not necessary.

But if you are truly aroused by an especially good looking man, then its about the attraction and the identity that is part of you. You can either accept it and ease your pain or you can rail against the gods for making you that way. It doesnt matter tho in the end, the arousal will still be there, its part of normal human sexuality. And therefore, again the guilt is not necessary. And normal sexuality is a good thing if you just let it be. Especially for survirors. We need the closeness of the intimacy that was so long ago taken away.

I had a different experience. For me, I was physically attracted to some men but not really anymore. Occasionally, a fleeting idea or attraction might come up but its not the same. For me, something beneath the surface is driving and it shows up sometimes as sex drive but its not really what it is, for me.

I tried to accept it and that didn't work for me. Fighting didn't really work either. Time, patience and understanding and not acting out were keys for me.

Its a very complicated area that each man has to figure out for himself. Its a lot about personal values, intuition, awareness, self-knowledge, soul searching. I guess as many men are on here is how many different points of view there are on personal sexuality and identity.

i don't believe men, in this culture, understand what could trip an arousal by a good looking guy. the pressure is too great to ignore it - for ignoring or fighting "is cool," it is manly, strength, right, so says our societal norms.

what is the game of "gay chicken" all about...? the new popular fad with younger guys...who not only play but film it and post online for all to see. they can make out, get erect, and turn it all off with a simple laugh...'cause they aren't actually gay.

but what are they? if one doesn't agree to play he is "gay" and uncool.

are they just guys... who realize that men can indeed be turned on by any another living soul no matter which gender? or is it the middle finger to this whole society that oppresses male sexuality on purpose? or is it even more sinister... a way to control a guy who is gay or learn who was abused and who wasn't so they can avoid them in the future?