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#173231 - 08/14/07 03:21 PM Cutting
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
.



Edited by user2007 (04/24/11 12:26 AM)
_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#173233 - 08/14/07 03:25 PM Re: Cutting [Re: user2007]
hideout Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 84
Loc: michigan
welcome J mccormick

i know the feeling of that, i dont cut myself no but i have done other things like that, to see blood or just plain hurt myself
i feel like i deserve it, and i do it for that reason


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#173235 - 08/14/07 03:29 PM Re: Cutting [Re: user2007]
Trevor Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 778
Loc: Rhode Island
i used to.
hey i dont usualy reply to stuff here
cuz i dont know much about stuff really but
i askd my shrink something about this an he
sed its cuz i nevr learnd how to deal with stress
like the rite way and cuz it makes me feel like
im in control for once but realy i think i did
it cuz it made me ffeel like im a real
person an not jus a thing u know? or sometimes
cuz im pissed at myself so its like i punish
myself an sometimes it just hurts 2 much
inside so i hafto let it out.
i dont do it anymore
they put me on medicine
it made me feel bettr and made me so i
can control feelings bettr
hope that helped

_________________________
My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon. You look so precious.

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#173239 - 08/14/07 03:37 PM Re: Cutting [Re: hideout]
Aidanchase Offline
Guest

Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 83
Loc: Vancouver, BC
Its called "Self-Harm" and although it has the obvious physical dangers there are a group of survivors who choose to do it. Sometimes we were told again and again we were bad and Cutting or hitting ourselves is how our mind has adapted to deal with that. For others they say that it calms them down. Really there are as many reasons people SH as there are stories of survivors.

However there are other ways of getting relaxed, releasing anger, even seeing "blood" in a non harmful way.

Examples

For anger you can punch a pillow scream into it scream out loud even if you have to. If you do it long enough it will probably even tire you out and calm you down. Art try to draw or color out your thoughts and anger sometimes it doesn't even have to be a shape just a mess of colors.

Still not enough.. Have an elastic around your wrist during the day when you have this urge to hurt yourself snap the elastic on your wrist its not life threatening and besides some redness no lasting marks will form. Another option is holding ice cubes in your hand as long as possible it will hurt.. longer you hold the more it hurts again not life threatening and no lasting marks.

Blood it isn't uncommon in people who Self Harm to get what is almost a "rush" at the sight of blood some things you can do are draw on your arm with red pen where you would want to see blood to represent it then take a sponge dip it in red food coloring and water next "slash" at your arm with the sponge how you would hold something sharp watching the food coloring run down your arm.

Self-Harm if done for a longer period of time can become addictive people even start doing it because they feel they need it even if non of the reasons for starting this behavior are present. If its at this point you may want to refer to a therapist in your area. They will be able to give you more solutions that can take you away from Self-Harm.

I am as I am sure others are here to support you bud. However SH is a very serious thing and we can be here when your down and need to talk but I would feel more comfortable if its getting serious that you have someone in real life watching over you in this process of healing. You can do it I believe in you!


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#173240 - 08/14/07 03:40 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Aidanchase]
sportinrucks Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/01/04
Posts: 422
Loc: Louisiana
I used to cut and beat myself so i would not be as fearful about going to school or work, if that makes any sense


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#173241 - 08/14/07 03:42 PM Re: Cutting [Re: sportinrucks]
hideout Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 84
Loc: michigan
i usually didnt hurt myself but i got into unwinnable fights to punish myself


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#173250 - 08/14/07 05:20 PM Re: Cutting [Re: hideout]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
J.,

Welcome to Male Survivor and I hope you will look around and get used to the place. Here's a lot here for you and I know you will find the guys here supportive and understanding.

Trev hits just about all the reasons why a guy will cut. These are all coping strategies we learn as abused boys, and if they work they're kind of difficult to abandon.

Are you seeing a T? If so s/he can talk to you about this and help you find ways to stop.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#173251 - 08/14/07 05:21 PM Re: Cutting [Re: roadrunner]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
Just sent you a PM J.

_________________________
Boom!

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#173273 - 08/14/07 06:53 PM Re: Cutting [Re: hideout]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: hideout
i usually didnt hurt myself but i got into unwinnable fights to punish myself


I had never thought about this in this way before....

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#173281 - 08/14/07 07:28 PM Re: Cutting [Re: BJK]
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
I only tried once, sometime just after the abuse stopped. I took one of my dad's open razors (a blade on each edge as they were in those days, not a safety razor). I went to the local wasteland, and tried to drag it across my leg. I didn't understand why I was doing it, and that hurt more than the slight cut I made on my leg. I blamed it on bramble bushes and never tried again.

My friends wife has lots of scars on her arms where she used to cut. She doesn't do it now. She was adopted, and later abused by an 'uncle'. After I disclosed, my friend once stuck us in a room together because he thought we could help each other. We didn't have to say anything, we just sat and looked at each other, and we just knew. I am to be godfather to their beautiful daughter soon!

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#173355 - 08/15/07 12:37 AM Re: Cutting [Re: RICK57]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Thank you so much for welcoming me, guys. I feel exausted for being fighting all alone for all of this time. It's the first time I say what I do to myself to anyone. No one in here would even try to understand. They'd probably just put me in a mental institution. Thanks for caring even without knowing me, you don't know how it's helping me...

I'll really try harder and do the things you taught me.

Thanks,
J.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



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#173358 - 08/15/07 01:04 AM Re: Cutting [Re: user2007]
Maxx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 43
Loc: Ohio
First, welcome to MS.

Second, you're not alone. You're the first first person I've seen to bring up this subject (I've only been here a little over a month). I've got a mass of scars on my left wrist that are twenty years old. When I was cutting myself, I never cut myself enough to kill myself (although that was on my mind), just enough to see blood. The overwhelming feeling at the time was to punish myself. I tried beating myself with a whip, but it wasn't as satisfying. I wanted to see blood. I wanted to kill myself, but couldn't. I showed one of my friends at the time the open wounds on my wrist at the time because she saw the blood in my bathtub and she freaked out. I haven't told anyone since.

A few years ago, I started cutting myself again. I'd been unemployed for a few years and wanted to die (again). I'm currently unemployed and have the urge again, but have resisted.

I guess that what I'm saying is that you're not alone (and neither am I).

Maxx

_________________________
Shackled by guilt I did not create
No absolutions, no paroles or escapes.
Swallow it down, do whatever it takes to get by...

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#173390 - 08/15/07 09:01 AM Re: Cutting [Re: Maxx]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5778
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Especially for the newer guys here...

Check out http://www.malesurvivor.org/ArchivedPages/singer2.html

It may help you anticipate cutting or other self-harm episodes and take positive action instead of something that controls you.

Ken


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#173422 - 08/15/07 12:03 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Aidanchase]
patch22 Offline
New Here

Registered: 07/24/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Ireland
Here's another way. Find a bunch of nettles and stick some inside your clothes - under socks / inside shirt / inside pants. If anyone sees the rashes you can just say you fell info nettles when you were out for a walk.

I've never felt particularly guilty about doing this - no serious damage to me, and nobody's ever found out. I have stopped it though, even though I feel the urge sometimes. Partly, I laugh at myself - fancy being in love with a bunch of f-ing nettles! Mainly though it's a sort of self-test, just to prove to myself that I can get by without doing it.

Guess that all sounds a bit crazy!

_________________________
A dog is a man's best therapist

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#173446 - 08/15/07 01:21 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Maxx]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Originally Posted By: Maxx

I showed one of my friends at the time the open wounds on my wrist at the time because she saw the blood in my bathtub and she freaked out. I haven't told anyone since.


That's what I'm afraid of the most. What will it happen if someone discovers? I don't know what they could think or do.


And patch, I don't think it sounds crazy. You gave me another idea.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



Top
#173524 - 08/15/07 07:38 PM Re: Cutting [Re: user2007]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
burnt my arm with cigarettes............for some reason -------------i am proud of the scars


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#174491 - 08/20/07 11:40 AM Re: Cutting [Re: RICK57]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
J-

I did cut myself for over 35 years. For me it was a rush to just feel something. I could not talk with anyone about the abuse or about cutting myself. It was just another reason to isolate. Catch 22 - to talk hurt too much and to cut (more shame and guilt) made the talking hurt even more so I did not talk and cut more and the sick cycle continued.

But I, like you, have to take control and stop. A T can help a great deal and I have heard but do not have first hand knowledge of medication that can help. I am free of this for the 1st time in 35 years and have been for about 8 months - and I can speak 1st hand about what it is like not to be hounded by thoughts to hurt ones self.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#174497 - 08/20/07 12:15 PM Re: Cutting [Re: kellygtx]
seekingblue Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 14
Hi J_McCormick,

I'm new here too. I never cut myself but I did bang my head against concrete walls and punch my legs with my fists. I still do it when I get really stressed out. I just wanted to add my voice to those who already spoke. You're not alone in this.

SB

_________________________
The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. ~Stephen King

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#174526 - 08/20/07 05:14 PM Re: Cutting [Re: seekingblue]
user2007 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 346
Kelly, my reason to do this is just like that if I cant hurt the people who did this to me then Ill hurt myself. Because I am to blame for these feelings I have. I already tried anything I could to stop this, but it seems like its just like drugs. It became an addiction in my life that I cant control.

SB, actually I already hit my head in the wall too, but it was only once because I couldnt sleep.

_________________________
"Yes, I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by
All this pavement"

~ John Mayer



Top
#174762 - 08/21/07 06:01 PM Re: Cutting [Re: user2007]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Julian,

Originally Posted By: J_McCormick
my reason to do this is just like that if I cant hurt the people who did this to me then Ill hurt myself. Because I am to blame for these feelings I have. I already tried anything I could to stop this, but it seems like its just like drugs. It became an addiction in my life that I cant control.


Have a look at the article Ken has linked to above. It is possible to stop this kind of behavior, and of course for all kinds of reasons it's a good idea to give it a try.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#174826 - 08/21/07 09:41 PM Re: Cutting [Re: roadrunner]
Armyguy2007 Offline
New Here

Registered: 08/19/07
Posts: 23
Loc: Upstate NY and Fl
I have done the cutting thing. I also would boot drugs or water so I could see the flash. I also would fight with other guys and placed myself in very dangerous situations just to feel something.


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#186971 - 10/13/07 08:27 PM Re: Cutting [Re: Armyguy2007]
saint-of-Lost-Causes Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 57
Loc: Michigan
I would try anything to numb myself!

_________________________
We accept the love we think we deserve!

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#186984 - 10/13/07 10:23 PM Re: Cutting [Re: RICK57]
saint-of-Lost-Causes Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 57
Loc: Michigan
For me it was a relief to be the one in control...to make the decision to inflict pain on myself...rather than having it forced. It was like...I am the one causing the pain...I am the one that chose to inflict it. I had been so used to being abused and I had no control over that or the pain it caused...but by cutting I had that control. Also...it was easier to feel physical pain than to deal with my emotional pain.

_________________________
We accept the love we think we deserve!

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