Without knowing too many specifics, there is no doubt in my mind that there is a way of addressing this sort of thing that promises as close to a success guarantee as you can get.
If you are completely submerged in the fear that it evokes, it is in control. The only way I see to prevent that or to reduce it to insignificance is to confront it, in a way that feels safe and appropriate to the individual. My experience has taught me an uncountable number of times that fear only has as much power as we give it. Knowing that, is powerful.
I am very weary of things that cause me mysterious anxiety and fear. I personally don't want to spend another moment trying to demystify the intensity of fear that does not immediately reveal it's roots. Allowing fear to be too important is very, very easy to do, not to mention it's had a lot of time to accumulate some very clever tricks over the years. It is big, ugly, noisy and readily convinces us that it can do terrible things to us and to our lives. It is natural to believe they are true, and why not because it has access to our very thoughts themselves. Sometimes it can even wait behind every single thought as it crosses our minds and twist it into another unpleasant promise faster than we thought possible. It is very cruel and it needs to know that it is not allowed to make the decisions anymore. It is mishandling and abusing the responsibility and it's time to stop listening to all of it's ridiculous racket.
The only way to find out if it is capable of producing the kind of horribleness that it is so busy boasting, is to confront it and wait for the proof. This is no easy thing to do, but the result is something that can be understood and even anticipated. It's all a big ridiculous bluff. It never follows through with it's terrible promises and it never even had the capability of doing such things.
But the good news is that we have access to a generous inventory of tools that can be used at our discression, and everything we need is included, not to mention there are no wrong answers. We can approach it anytime we choose, it does need to be done with any specific sense of urgency, there are no limits on how many times we can decide to back up and start over, and we can never officially fail. Any and all methods of discovering its nature are valid, and there most certainly is no time limit to be concerned with. We are all given these tools without exception, and we are even granted the liberty of allowing our own personal creativity to participate if it seems appropriate.
Just a stream of consciousness I thought was worth trying to put into words. I hope you guys can appreciate how much this all has meant to me. I am still exploring my own, and it doesn't need to matter how many there end up being, I can deal with them one by one, for as long as it takes. It seems ironic that it was so noisy before, and now I learn that it is hiding from me! I am patient though so I will get to all of it eventually. I am pleasantly surprised that the only places for it to hide belong to me! But don't be fooled if I haven't found you yet, it's not because you are too clever, it is simply because it is not yet the perfect time to complete your demise.
Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.