there are too many fights between what i feel and what i believe.
i struggle to find that strength to maintain my faith.
hope fades in and out.

when things go well i am quick to thank God for His presence.
when things go bad i get confused and saddened.

i guess i forget, just as there is a Friend, there is an Enemy.

m

I understand what you're saying, it is more difficult to praise him during the sadness. I've joined a group at church that works with the praise music and one song that sticks out in my mind is 'praise him in the storm', I think that's the name anyway. Everytime I hear that I weep yet I know that it's important as believers to praise him during the hard times too, otherwise how would our faith grow. It's been a long journey for me, I feel that God does not cause bad things to happen in my life but I feel He allows evil to exist. The reasons why are what baffles me, why dO children get abused, why do innocent people have to die, why do bad things happen to good people? I certainly don't have all the answers but I do feel that the enemy as you call it, is ever present and challenging. I've been encouraged by some of what I've read and I'm sure others have been too. May your faith grow ever stronger.

Thanx. If it weren't for the praise music - I probably wouldn't even try.

Hi Mark,
I was raised catholic and I rejected the "dogma" for many years and said it was all a double standard. For the past 3.5 years I am practicing again in a church that does not fully embrace me as a gay man. They never walked in my shoes. I know they believe I am a huge sinner but whatever they believe, preach or think, I know and believe God is here with me and he knows my heart. I pray and my prayers get answered.God does not let bad things happen. People have free will and I am sure God is saddened by human actions, but it what is in our hearts that is important....or so I believe. Mother teresa said it best. In the end it is between me and God. Being gay does not make me less or more of a person than the next. Being sorry for causing harm and seeking forgivness is what is important...so I believe. I hope I did not preach. I don't like preachers, I prefer teachers. Be well, be safe.
Peace, Dan

Hey Mark,

Faith is not what we feel. Faith is the subtance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Heb 11:1) In good and in bad, God is God, that is where faith is born.

Remember Job, "Though He slay me I will trust the Lord". The enemy demanded to test Job because he said he had so much good in his life, no wonder he followed God. Job proved him wrong by staying devoted to God, regardless of circumsatances, including how he felt, even being betrayed by friends and family, and physically challenged with boils all over his body. Yet, he stayed faithful to God. In the end his faithfullness was rewarded.

Mark, God loves you, He has worked in your life in incedible ways. He hears your sadness, even understands your pain and desires and your feelings. He still loves you. Feelings are going to come and go, the hope we have in Jesus Christ is the foundation of our faith, not our feelings.

Hang on to hope in Christ, you'll wake up in trustworthy arms!

Army

I've relied a lot on the book of Job in the past, when nothing seems to make any sense.