stepping forward, only to step backward... it implies that at least you are in motion and haven't given up!
I like this quote: "It doesn't matter where you start. It only matters where you finish."
I'm no expert, been plowing thru for years with more plowing ahead. Stay in the game.
Know what I learned.... EVERYBODY has truckloads of crap to deal with, not just us. EVERYBODY has been abused in some way, not just us. Some folks got physical disability, others got emotional issues, others have mental needs ....no one gets out unharmed. The glory is we can learn to cope, then thrive, in our own particular crap.
It's hard, as you pointed out and understand. But consider how hard it is to do nothing.