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#170671 - 08/03/07 03:59 AM Re: recovery is worse [Re: roadrunner]
easterneurope Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 60
Loc: eastern europe
M ~~ so worth it. For so many reasons. I can't list them for you, because I don't know you personally. Sometimes I can only be motivated by the fact that my recovery impacts other people. Not just me. I've got 3 daughters who did not sign on to be raised by a hellish, broken father. That motivated the hell out of me. I also really know that I can stop the cycle of power abuse had on me. Or, I can pass my fear and panic on to my girls. The only way to stop it is to continue the fight. Basically, I'm a coward. I hate pain and I detest being inconvenienced. I'm 43 and I know this is it. I only get one life. I want to know it counted for something beyond what other people did to me. I've been strengthened by a lot of things and finding real purpose for my life has helped.

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#170691 - 08/03/07 08:54 AM Re: recovery is worse [Re: easterneurope]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
what i'm hearing:
1. it gets better
2. it takes time (a LOT of time)
3. it takes even more time
4. it can get worse after it gets better
5. it can take years

what i'm up against:
A. i'm not worth it
B. i don't know if i can handle much worse
C. i'm scared to death

but i'm still here. why? mostly because if you guys can do it, i should be able to. i can't be THAT much worse than any of you, can i?

but i ache.
and i'm so tired.

but my son deserves a father at home. so for at least the next 3 years until he graduates, i guess i'm in the game.

for now


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#170809 - 08/03/07 06:56 PM Re: recovery is worse [Re: MarkK]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
yaaaaa-----------------good for you-----------------mark.......................................steve


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#170822 - 08/03/07 08:28 PM Re: recovery is worse [Re: sabata]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
the cheering may be a bit ... premature


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#170823 - 08/03/07 08:36 PM Re: recovery is worse [Re: MarkK]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
why????????????????????????


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#170831 - 08/03/07 09:00 PM Re: recovery is worse [Re: sabata]
Xavier91 Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/11/07
Posts: 84
its a step... so i'd say thats worth cheering!

_________________________
Rather laugh about what has been
Then fear what still comes, perhaps
Rather loving a big ghost
Then hating something that you canít see

You are gone, but closer then ever

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#170833 - 08/03/07 09:02 PM Re: recovery is worse [Re: Xavier91]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
a step forward
3 back


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#170893 - 08/04/07 03:00 AM Re: recovery is worse [Re: MarkK]
easterneurope Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 60
Loc: eastern europe
stepping forward, only to step backward... it implies that at least you are in motion and haven't given up!

I like this quote: "It doesn't matter where you start. It only matters where you finish."

I'm no expert, been plowing thru for years with more plowing ahead. Stay in the game.

Know what I learned.... EVERYBODY has truckloads of crap to deal with, not just us. EVERYBODY has been abused in some way, not just us. Some folks got physical disability, others got emotional issues, others have mental needs ....no one gets out unharmed. The glory is we can learn to cope, then thrive, in our own particular crap.

It's hard, as you pointed out and understand. But consider how hard it is to do nothing.

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#170894 - 08/04/07 03:02 AM Re: recovery is worse [Re: easterneurope]
easterneurope Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 60
Loc: eastern europe
...and take these next 3 years and love the hell out of your son, give him your heart. Does he know what happened to you?

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#170896 - 08/04/07 03:10 AM Re: recovery is worse [Re: easterneurope]
easterneurope Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 60
Loc: eastern europe
One more thing ...my thoughts are rambling!! LOL

My wife is dealing with the results of her really crappy parents. They were worthless for the most part. Anyway, she has days when she doesn't want to deal any more. I remind her that NOTHING WORTH HAVING EVER COMES EASY.

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