just wanna check in with everyone. i'm not feeling real good. earlier i took my father to the airport so he could fly back to california and his second family.
it was tough. i felt sad to see him go. he had been in town for some months while taking care of business.
i love the man with all his humanness, all his imperfection. he abandoned me from my birth in favor of his addiction, work. but, i still love him.
my therapist once said that the majority of parents do their best. it is the rare parent who intentionally hurts their child. i believe this.
i believe my father did his best. he also has been diagnosed with a mental illness like i. so that just adds to his challenges.
he arrives late tonight, God willing, and he need call tomorow.
i wished him well and asked him to say hello to his family for me. we'll miss him but at the same time we'll feel a little freer.
you see sometimes when we are around him we can feel uncomfortable, restricted, even overwhelmed. he can be highly controlling. a number of others have noticed this about him and felt uneasy around him as well. so there there were days when i needed to limit our time near him for our own well being.
changing subjects, we had some strong porn desires earlier but we fought them off. oops, someone just sat down next to us here in the library. we do not feel comfy continuing this. so that is all for now. take care men