Jay,
Well, I'm glad to see the thread is coming to some point of agreement...where have I seen this before?
Too bad Trev isn't here to really jag you properly, but I will see what I can do in his absence.
I won't go into a lot of detail here, except to say that the very fact that you are here suggests you can already see what a dim reflection of real life we lead when we are just trying to cope and "get over it".
So much for the lie about not going into detail...
I would just ask you to look at how you feel right now and what you are proposing for yourself. Basically, what you're contemplating is a life in which you don't allow yourself to feel anything: no sense of fulfillment (because with that comes an awareness of loss), nothing of joy (because with that comes pain), and nothing of genuine happiness (because to feel happiness we must also be able to feel misery and sadness too), and nothing of strength (which comes with awareness of areas where we are weak and vulnerable).
This is why what you are suggesting isn't living real life at all. Real living is when we face whatever there is out there to confront; we accept life's joys and exult in them, but we also accept the bad stuff and figure out how to confront it and resolve it.
It's true that non-survivors suffer as well, but when they do they face it and work through it. When really bad things happen, that is when we
most need to face things; that's the
worst possible situation to turn away from and deny. Why? Because even if we deny what has happened and refuse to deal with it, it will still continue to harm us and hijack other things we want to do.
I think I gave you this example in a PM one time, but here it is again. Suppose I shatter my leg in a bad bike accident and the doctor tells me I need to go through physio; I check it out, but the physio hurts like hell and on top of that the physio nurse isn't the fox from the hospital but a sumo wrestler type with BO and an urge to reshape me into a preztel. So I say "Fuck this" and abandon physio; I figure it doesn't matter, I can manage. Can I really? If I am willing to deceive myself, does that change the fact that I am in pain and can't walk properly or do any of the things I used to like? What have I really gained from this strategy?
Like others have said above, Jay, dealing with this crap is rough and no one can promise you an easy ride. But from further down the road I can look back to you and hope you will stick it out. It does get a whole lot better, and seeing what I see now I can say it has been worth it. I wouldn't go back to the way things were for anything.
Much love,
Larry
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