Mark - when I was 12, I vowed that I would never cry again because of something that someone else did. I kept that vow for over 3 decades, through the loss of my dog (the only being that never let me down once, although a few others have been close). The death of my parents, several favourite relatives, good friends in accidents, and so it goes on!
I broke down in December of 2003 (from 1969) and cried like a banshee! When you are ready, it will happen! It was a major release for me!
best wishes ...Rik
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!