Newest Members
0128, jeremywickers, JScott12, TMatti2, DaiseyLady
12502 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
asdude1981 (33), Avery46 (51), hans32 (46), jean-noel (49), Kirk (59), Kirk Wayne (59), Mechanical (21), OldTrafford (50)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 22 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12502 Members
74 Forums
64193 Topics
447967 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#169310 - 07/27/07 12:21 PM my brothers possible abusive past / my own wants
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I have one brother who i DO NOT talk with nor have anything to do with him whatsoever and i feel i've reached a point in my life i want to know about our childhood.

I am living a life feeling leftout and yet i deny to myslef it does not bother me and my neices have no idea who i am or if i even exist or want them in my life...(of course i want them in my life)i'm an alcoholic who is sober over 5 years and i have had a few chances to let him know about the abuse i suffered from growing up.

How do i even bring this up afterall i have said it before something like this just does not come up over coffee and if i do in fact let him know then how am i able to mention it without pushing him away.

I sit here and the anger in me comes up when i talk about he and i and how "a relationship" i want may never happen.

I have lots of questions with no answers yet still i stew about what could be,what could have been,and what i think i want now and in the future.


What do i do leave well enough alone or do i simply bring it up.


Coopstah

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

Top
#169334 - 07/27/07 01:30 PM Re: my brothers possible abusive past / my own wants [Re: thecoopstah]
terpprm Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/15/07
Posts: 312
Loc: Elyria, Ohio
before i give any advice, may i ask why the two of you haven't talked? what's the problem between you two?

_________________________
My Story

Top
#169336 - 07/27/07 01:33 PM Re: my brothers possible abusive past / my own wants [Re: thecoopstah]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Coop,

I think this is entirely a judgment call. It looks to me like you have to weigh things out here: what do you want and need from your brother by way of a relationship, as opposed to whether you think you can get this without a lot of new pain and trauma. But I wouldn't think in terms of the past (what could have been); we can't do anything about that. The question is what can be done now...for the future.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#169360 - 07/27/07 02:51 PM Re: my brothers possible abusive past / my own wants [Re: roadrunner]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
True enough and i'll give you the benifit of the doubt in that i'm not sure if i want a relationship or if i simply want him to know about what i went through as a kid and if he went through it as well this could be the begining of his healing process afterall talking about and dealing with the crap we face as kids can really bring people together or drive them away altogether.Looking at ones issues is not easy.


Coopstah

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.