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#16910 - 10/31/02 04:00 AM Proof that there is a first time for everything
rolling_is_life Offline
Member

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 53
Loc: Olympia, Washington
Now, im still new to all this posting bis, but i have something i felt was important to share. Lately i have not been dealing well with my SA and the affects its had on me and my life, and id like to say alot of u tryed to help, and some did. But for the first time i plan to go see a therapist, and anyone who has talked to me on that subject knows i regard them with a hatered. But tonight I was lying in my bed, and i came to the conclusion, i don't need this in my life, I don't need to not be able to sleep because i have flash backs, i don't need to be angry 24/7 and i don't need to push away people in my family and friends who i care about because im always mad and can never tell them why. I need someone to tell all this to who knows what they are doing *not sayin u all don't* But some of the issues have become to big for myself to handle. I still plan to visit this site often, Because i have met people who i care about here and want to kepe talking to. But this message really has no point. im just happy for once i m goiing to see a T and its on my own free will. im more proclaiming it then anything. I guess should be going to bed now, Thnx for listening to me rant and mumblle once again. :rolleyes: -Keith

_________________________
"Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity" -Greg Graffin

"Live fast, die young, leave a great looking corpse" -Ronny Van Zant

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#16911 - 10/31/02 06:46 AM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Roy Offline
Member

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
Glad to see you are making a decision and choosing to care for yourself by getting professional help. That's awesome. "Proclaiming" is a powerful word and in so doing, you are taking your power back.


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#16912 - 10/31/02 07:46 AM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
That's a huge step Keith, I think it's one that you'll benefit from now YOU have made the choice to go.

Well done, and don't be too much of a stranger here.

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#16913 - 10/31/02 11:01 AM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
andrew-almost52 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 243
Loc: canada
Good for you Keith. And don't be discouraged if you feel like you're taking a few steps backwards first. It sometimes works like that. There is no courage without anxiety.


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#16914 - 10/31/02 12:37 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Keith,

It is good to hear that you want to get really serious in working on the effects of the SA in your life. We know that it impacts us all to a very great degree in so many aspects of our life.

I hope that you get a really good T the first time. I have had a number of them, some good, some just okay and one that was just not competent at all in this matter of SA.

Come here to talk out what is going on, if you want. Let us know that you are okay. Or that you are struggling.

You don't need to worry about what you write here. We all know lots of anger and rage within us.

Good luck Keith. It will be hard work but it will be worth it. You are doing this at an early age before you build up years of denial and defenses that are just of no help.

Peace to you Keith!

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#16915 - 10/31/02 01:54 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Keith:

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#16916 - 10/31/02 01:57 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Keith:

Good move, brother survivor! Speaking from some experience, even a T who's not that great can still say things you can build on & draw benefit from. However I'm hoping you find the best possible T in your area. Also, I find this a great place to during the week process what I go over with my T each week. Often, I gain insights here I share with my T. WTG, Keith!

Take Care

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#16917 - 10/31/02 02:25 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Chey-Wy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 241
Loc: Cheyenne, WY
Keith,

You have made a good decision. Like the others have said, I hope you find a good therapist on the frist try. My only advice would be to give him/her at least three sessions. Hopefuly it will be a perfect match and you will get along great. But, I also have had a T that wasn't a perfect match. She and I did not get along at all. Personally I find that I can deal with a male T better than a female T ( I get embarased talking to a female T about "serious" topics relating to the S A. I want to wish you the best. Also, come in here often. I have found that I will discuss something in here and then bring it up with my T when I see him. I wish you the best with it.

Also, it is O K not to feel comfortable with a T and go looking for another one. ( Been there ... done that.

Good luck,

John

_________________________
From the Song MOUNTAINS by Lonestar.

Yeah, the good Lord gave us mountains,
So we could learn how to climb

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#16918 - 10/31/02 04:04 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
woo hoo! right on Keith!

Oh, and thanks for sharing it. Every time I see a small or large step in healing I smile broadly and reflect on my own need to keep working at this.
....t

_________________________
"..this place isn't a discussion forum..it's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

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#16919 - 10/31/02 07:31 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
rolling_is_life Offline
Member

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 53
Loc: Olympia, Washington
Last night I was intent on telling my mom this morning that I wanted to pursue therapy, and I chockedright b4 I did it. The problem is...iv convinced here since I was 11 that im fine, and that my probs are little and im over them. So explaining to her is a huge dilema on why i need to go to therapy. My dad doesn't live with us, or id tell him *he was abused so he'd know I dont want to explain why i need to go to a T* but my mom i know will get very nosey, so..dunno how im gonna tell her, i might have to wait till i c my \:\( dad again and try to go through him.

_________________________
"Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity" -Greg Graffin

"Live fast, die young, leave a great looking corpse" -Ronny Van Zant

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#16920 - 10/31/02 07:43 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
rolling_is_life Offline
Member

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 53
Loc: Olympia, Washington
Im, contemplating Ideas for telling me mom, and if anyone else has some, id be open to suggestions! thnx

_________________________
"Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity" -Greg Graffin

"Live fast, die young, leave a great looking corpse" -Ronny Van Zant

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#16921 - 10/31/02 09:37 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Mark R Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 29
Loc: Palm Springs, CA
Hi...good going. Once you feel the empowerment of working on yourself, if this therapist isn't effective for you, you'll be able to keep at it until you find the one that works.
Sometimes all you have to say is there are things I need to work on. If she is really interested she may ask what and you can decide what and how much to tell her. You can also say you don't feel comfortable talking about it right now. Work with your therapist on ways of telling her.
I'm back in therapy now. I've been going on and off for most of my life. This therapist for the last 15 years...but not continuously. She is really wonderful. As far as male vs female, find what works for you. I'd like to have found a man, but this one is so good and we work so well together, I am just thankful I have one.
Keep up the good work


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#16922 - 10/31/02 10:45 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
Huck Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/20/02
Posts: 17
Loc: south carolina
Tell her you want to go because you want to go...

If that doesn't work, tell her you want to go because you want to go...

If you have to, tell her you can't explain it, you want to go because you want to go...

Tell her you don't expect her to understand, you just want her help and support. If this is still not enough...Tell her, though she's your mother and is only being nosey cause she cares, SHE doesn't have a penis and would never understand else she would have already agreed and you'd be on your way to the T...

If none of this works, call your dad...

Your friend,

Huck


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#16923 - 11/01/02 10:56 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
rolling_is_life Offline
Member

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 53
Loc: Olympia, Washington
Well, I told her, and it went as I expected I nearly choked on my own lungs as I said it. and she was upset and asked why, and i just siad, because, she is mad at me, guilt trippin me *shes great at it too* but i don't plan to tell her why. At least the ball is rolling. *no corney pun intended* And hopefully soon we will set up a interveiw too see who i want to see.

_________________________
"Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity" -Greg Graffin

"Live fast, die young, leave a great looking corpse" -Ronny Van Zant

Top
#16924 - 11/01/02 11:04 PM Re: Proof that there is a first time for everything
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Keith,

If you run into any problems just go see your pediatrician and tell him what you need. You Ped will make a referral. If you abuser is still around the ped will have to report him but so will your T because of your age. But don't let that get in the way of going for the help.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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