I have been in T for a few months now and feel as though I have come a long way...prior to starting T I was deeply involved in my church, Elder, media coordinator, men's group, etc...since T started, I have stopped all service in my church because my recovery takes up so much of my time and mind...

Over the past three weeks I have been on hiatus from T due to attending Summer Camp with my two sons...the camp is a church camp and served to refresh my spirituality and connection with God...I found myself pondering why the two, recovery and church, have been seperate to this point.

I suppose I initially seperated the two because I felt so ashamed of the things I have done...I recently have come to realize that I haven't been trusting God to be who He is...my Creator who can do ANYTHING...including helping me through my recovery. I am trying to marry these two important parts of my life.

After being at camp I was ready to stop T and dedicate my recovery process to prayer and the will of God solely... but I believe that the two can supplement each other...at least I am going to give it a shot.

I would appreciate any input from anyone who may have struggled similarly.

I have bounced back and forth between my service to God and "getting whole". Especially with the thought that I shouldn't be in any kind of leadership when my life is so screwed up.

It's only recently I realize that God can use me WHILE I am being healed. Besides - I can find no where that He says we have to be complete BEFORE we come to Him. For obvious reasons - that wouldn't work.

My 2 cents? Go with your instinct - the two CAN supplement each other.

M

Buz:

I whole hearted believe in prayer and the ministry of the church. This belief has become a part of my DNA and my recovery will never be complete outside of my Faith. However, I have seen and experienced enough to know that there is great wisdom available to us through secular counseling that respects our beliefs.

In the midst of this journey,>

Hey Buzz,

Remember Romans 8:28 for all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Remember? I know its hard to see right now, but Gods word is true, yesterday today and tommorow. Its true for your life today. The God who loved you yesterday still loves you today, he was with you in your abuse, with you in your acting out, with you in your doubt, He is with you in your recovery. He brought you to a place to find his love again.

I too have been and still am in the Church as a Minister/Elder/Pastor, I also am a survior of sexual abuse as a boy. I did alot of things too that were acting out with older men. I remember crying out to God and asking for help to heal me from these things, Its been twenty years and I can finaly say he answered my prayers. As I began to Trust the God of the impossible, I was reminded that with God all things are possible, even bring peace to my torment and shame and fear. In His mercy, he showed me that I wasn't giving enough credit to His children. Those that are truely born of His love will see your situation in God's eyes, and you will find God's grace, mercy and love. You have with me, and I serve Jesus Christ the God of the impossible! My advice to you is stay in therapy, don't hold anything back. Put it all out on the line and ask God to help you sort it out. He will help, He is trustworthy, He loves you, and He desires His relationship with you, so pray read and pray and read. I will be praying for you my friend!

Army

Mark- very good point that we don't need to be complete before coming to Him...that IS why we need Him.

Pete- your 'targeted' messages is something that happens to me very frequently as well...I simply LOVE it when that happens...it serves to strengthen my faith that God is actively involved, interested, and desiring a close relationship with me.

I appreciate your feedback guys...

Army...WOW! You just said exactly what I told my T yesterday...I am so tired of being partially whole, still carrying around certain secrets...it MUST be dealt with, ALL of it...so that it doesn't keep it's hold on me...I have resolved to put it all out there, and trusting God to be there to see me through it.

THANK YOU for your prayers.

Buzz,

Great Stuff, I wish I could say its gonna be easy, but ya know nothing good comes without pain...look at Jesus. Lot'a pain and agony there, but that was Friday...Sunday is a coming!

Blessings,

Army

Hi Buzz,

Like Army I too work for the Church, I'm a priest. If you broke you leg you'd go to a doctor, if you had a heart attack you'd call the ambulance. God works through the medical people as well as through prayer. It would be irresponsible for us to rely on God to fix our leg when there are doctor's available. Please continue therapy. It was tremendously helpful for me, though difficult. I've had several surgeries and evey one of them involved pai and then the pain of rehabbing and physical therapy...it's the same with the pain of CSA.God will give you what you need as you need it:to speak the unspoken which needs to come out for it is true and only in the daylight can be recognized and healed.

Blessings,

Frank

Hi Buzz

Due to the fact that I could not afford a T I fought through the past few months. I use to see a T when I was about 18 and some of the views is still helpful today.

I am doing well due to the fact that I gave God my everything and believe in Him as my healer. If I had the choice I think I would still see a T as that is helpfull. But I also find a lot of support in my church. I have shared with my pastor about the abuse as well as with one friend in church. The support is awesome!! By no means is it substituting a T but my point is simply that God gives us people to help us through the difficult times. Wheather that is a T, a pastor or just a good friend. However that is something you should work out for yourself.

I agree with what was said above. If we wait for everything because we still have issues and secrets we will never start with anything. My reason for being on MS is because I wanted to be healed and whole before I start my theological studies. Through the past few months I have learned that if I wait for that I will never start with my studies as there pops up a new thing everytime I think I am on my way. So I have started with my studies and I am glad I did. God works through us no matter where we are or what we are struggling with. He is not looking for our ability but our availability.

Good luck with your journey it is worth it!!

i have grown up in church my entire life. actually my perp was a pastor's son from another local church. i never told anybody and got through it on my own. not completely, there are still some problems i deal with. my opinion, i think your pastor should be your therapist. God has a way of using the Man of God to help people. the issues i'm dealing with now, i am discussing with the pastor and the music director(mostly the music director) which is also one of my best friends, my sunday school teacher, my leader(i'm the church organist), and they have helped me so much and it doesn't cost you an arm and a leg!!! my favorite part:-) anyway, you can never go wrong by partnering with God. by choosing God, you can continue with both and probably even get more out of it, because you can serve God with your whole heart and most pastors are on a call me anytime basis. i have my pastor's cell phone number so that if i have a problem, then i can call him anytime, and he always answers!!! just my opinion. i'm sure there's someone here who won't agree with me.