Just rambling here...

Finally got my dumb ass back into therapy, been twice so far, this therapist seems okay, so far it sounds like he knows what he's talking about and he's a survivor himself so that helps. Of course I don't trust the bastard just yet but why should I?

I still love being out here, great people. I admit that my bad habits have come back to haunt me but what are ya gonna do... I have some really good neighbors here and they have some good friends but they really like to party. Not a good thing for someone like me to be around people like them... oh well.

I heard from my sister last week, she's as fucked up as ever, still in and out of the hospital, she gained some weight so she's gigantic now at a whoppin 91lbs, yeah that's sarcasm. I asked her if she was still doing heroin and she told me it was none of my business. I didn't say much else to her but I did give her my address, told her if she needed a place to crash... That might have been a mistake, we'll see.

Still thinking a lot about the old man and some issues that I've never addressed about him and Kenny. It's much easier to let it go and just not think about it than it is to actually address it. Course everyone tells me that if I don't deal with it now it'll just come back on me even worse the next time. I believe that it will but I'm in the mind set right now to just enjoy the break and deal with it later. Can you say denial?

So anyway, other than too much sun, too much beer and too little sleep that's about it.

Jay

Jay,

Good to hear you are back in therapy....you need to be there. The trust will take a while to build with the Therapist and in time it will come. I am glad you found one who is a survivor, maybe he will understand a bit more than the textbook knowledge...Ya know?

DENIAL....That word is one that kept me from recovering for years. You know better...and yes we will all keep hounding about that...LOL.

I am glad that you are working hard at this...it means alot.
Brian

Well I didn't want to mention any names BRIAN but yeah I was going to say there's at least one guy here who just won't give me a break, won't let me be in denial, won't let me fuck up, etc... he's a real pain in the ass but that's just one of the things I love about him, LOL

I like denial-land. I'm happy here.

J

Jay...denial land hmm...not exactly an amusement park and no I wont ever let you slip into it either. This is a tough journey that takes ALOT of work , I just wish I had someone to keep prodding me through mine...hence why you are cursed with me...LOL

I may be a pain in the ass but I get things done...LOL

Your PITA,
Brian

Ya think?

Yeah it is a tough journey, I'm at a rest stop right now so put the cattle prod away for 5 minutes! LOL

Jay...

I may be a little blunt about things and a little pushy but I hope you know I do it out of love. I care for ya man and you have done a remarkable thing by removing yourself from that horrible situation with your family. You can't imagine how proud I am of you man!!

I will let you rest for a few minutes, just keep in mind I just want whats best for you.

Much Love,
Brian

Yeah, yeah I know... and I appreciate it even though I don't say it a lot. Maybe I should start calling you mom... lol, what time do I have to be home again? lol

Blunt and pushy are good, it's the only thing that works with me.

J

Jay...
"Blunt and pushy are good, it's the only thing that works with me."

NO WAY...really...LOL

No, I am glad it works for you. Its not for everyone thats for sure.


You better be home by 10 and hey did you change your underwear....last thing I need is for you to get into an accident on that noisy bike of yours and have dirty underwear....I couldnt live with the shame.

Also...when was the last time you shaved????

Brian

LOL, I'm not wearing any underwear and I don't own a razor, I've decided to do the ZZ Top thing with the big long beard and you mean 10:00 AM, right? lol

Commando huh??? Not going there.

10 AM...oh man you come in that "late" there will be hell to pay..LOL

And stay away from the neighbor boys...They are a bad influence....

Hey now, being a bad influence doesn't make you a bad person!

Hey I didn't say they were bad people...I said they were a bad influence. They arent the best for you...can't you find "normal" friends...LOL (Just kidding)

Your PITA

Well Brian, my pita, when I was looking for a place I was specifically looking for something that read "2-bdrm townhouse near ocean and guys that like to party, must own obnoxious bike and like to play loud music, non-drinkers/smokers need not apply" Yeah... that's exactly what I was looking for! LOL, how can I be a good neighbor if I don't go over there and socialize?

Well Jay...Keep your socializing to normal extents...you know what I mean. Do I need to say more?

What are you trying to say mom?

You know what I mean...don't make me say it.

I don't think I could really make you do anything Brian.

I don't think I could really make you do anything Brian.

DAMNED STRAIGHT!! LOL

Don't worry about the neighbors

I will...its a mothers pergotive...LOL

By the way you have before....you know.

No I don't know, what are you talking about?

Dont make me admit to crying in public...LOL

Wait... I'm confused... I made you cry in public or I made you admit that you cried in public...

LOL...the latter...not that I am ashamed at all...I can be a big blubbering baby at times...LOL

Oh okay good, only person I've ever made cry was my mother. Yeah I can tell that about you... big baby, maybe someone will bring you a shiny new binkie for Christmas... LOL

Thanks alot.

Hey man, back at ya for the Honda remarks a few weeks ago

Geez....grudge much...LOL

Nah I don't hold grudges... but it WAS my Harley we were talking about...

lol great convo going on here haha :p

Wait this wasnt in pm....LOL