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#167872 - 07/20/07 02:46 AM Re: had enough [Re: shadowkid]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
Originally Posted By: shadowkid
you know you shouldnt ,but you just cant help it. its like that ,what if the one i never open is the one where he says i'm sorry?


Adam, I know exactly what you are talking about here. Am in kind of a similar position right now and do not know how to handle it. I know I am going to get hurt and should break all contact but every time I reply and think "what if...". The danger signs are there, the hurt is back, the emotions are back and yet...

So I dont have advice for you, just know again you are not alone in your struggle. When I find the answer myself I will let you know :-)

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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#167897 - 07/20/07 08:34 AM Re: had enough [Re: pietie]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
thnks everybdy for helping, adam

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#168023 - 07/20/07 09:20 PM Re: had enough [Re: shadowkid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Adam,

Originally Posted By: shadowkid
what if the one i never open is the one where he says i'm sorry?


You have already received some great feedback on this, so I'll just note that what you say here is what makes it possible for toxic people to continue to harm us. They need for you to remain hopeful; they love to watch you twist in the wind after they slam you with a new body blow. If you turn your back on them the game's up. There's no victim anymore, no one to brutalize. It ends.

I have toxic relatives of my own, and when I turned my back on them some years ago, yes, it felt awful and it seemed like I was the bad guy. I wasn't. I was just acting to protect myself and refusing to be a victim any longer. I told myself, okay, I will just fade out of their lives and not be nasty about this; if they want contact with me they can seek it, but on my terms. But they never got in touch! I wonder if they even notice that I am no longer in their lives.

But the point is that I acted for my own welfare. If you can, Adam, I think you should do the same. If there is ever that desire to apologize and mend things, it can be expressed to you through a neutral friend or relative and an unopened letter isn't going to obstruct that.

But I think you already know what I knew, but was hesitant to admit, when I broke off contact: that letter is never going to come.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#168025 - 07/20/07 09:30 PM Re: had enough [Re: roadrunner]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i do understand and i thank you for your honesty, some day maybe i''ll hate them enough to not love them anymore.

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#168089 - 07/21/07 04:50 AM Re: had enough [Re: shadowkid]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
This post may be deleted.
Like Robbie, I kinda wish I knew where the MoFo lived.

I'm so sorry that you have to ecen think about this. Adam.

It brings me so much pain to hear such inhumane treatment of someone so innocent and deserving of love.

But, right now that Pain has been changed to anger and...maybe I should so no more it would probly be of no benafit to anyone here.

I have trained myself in every way I can think of: to help and save people and on the flipside can equelly destroy the human monsters that are not deserving of any sympathy or pardon for their inexcusable crimes to the innocent. For I concider myself a humanitarian. But, a part of me does not share that comassion for some, those tht's only purpose is to injure and negate the innocent, for I invest no love, no compasson or sympathy for them. In my opinion, they should not as equall with the rest of society, and should reap the same actions tha they placeupon others for they are caustic to society as a whole and should be stoped, these troglidits in humane for, in they rain upon those they feed. I have often thought of donating my life to such a cause of fighting back for the greater good.
May they, get what they deserve!!!!!!!!!!! Some one has to stand agaist them and fight back for all of us. For their rain of terror must be stoped!!

-Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#168091 - 07/21/07 04:59 AM Re: had enough [Re: shadowkid]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
This post may be deleted.
Like Robbie, I kinda wish I knew where the MoFo lived.

I'm so sorry that you have to ecen think about this. Adam.

It brings me so much pain to hear such inhumane treatment of someone so innocent and deserving of love.

But, right now that Pain has been changed to anger and...maybe I should so no more it would probly be of no benafit to anyone here.

I have trained myself in every way I can think of: to help and save people and on the flipside can equelly destroy the human monsters that are not deserving of any sympathy or pardon for their inexcusable crimes to the innocent. For I concider myself a humanitarian. But, a part of me does not share that comassion for some, those tht's only purpose is to injure and negate the innocent, for I invest no love, no compasson or sympathy for them. In my opinion, they should be not be considered as equall with the rest of society, and should reap the same actions that they place upon others for they are caustic to society as a whole and should be stoped, these trogledites in humane for, in their rain upon those they feed. I have often thought of donating my life to such a cause of fighting back for the greater good.
May they, get what they deserve!!!!!!!!!!! Some one has to stand agaist them and fight back for all of us. For their rain of terror must be stoped!! If things don''t head up for me, may I become the one to stop them.

-Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

Top
#168092 - 07/21/07 04:59 AM Re: had enough [Re: shadowkid]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
This post may be deleted.
Like Robbie, I kinda wish I knew where the MoFo lived.

I'm so sorry that you have to ecen think about this. Adam.

It brings me so much pain to hear such inhumane treatment of someone so innocent and deserving of love.

But, right now that Pain has been changed to anger and...maybe I should so no more it would probly be of no benafit to anyone here.

I have trained myself in every way I can think of: to help and save people and on the flipside can equelly destroy the human monsters that are not deserving of any sympathy or pardon for their inexcusable crimes to the innocent. For I concider myself a humanitarian. But, a part of me does not share that comassion for some, those tht's only purpose is to injure and negate the innocent, for I invest no love, no compasson or sympathy for them. In my opinion, they should be not be considered as equall with the rest of society, and should reap the same actions that they place upon others for they are caustic to society as a whole and should be stoped, these trogledites in humane for, in their rain upon those they feed. I have often thought of donating my life to such a cause of fighting back for the greater good.
May they, get what they deserve!!!!!!!!!!! Some one has to stand agaist them and fight back for all of us. For their rain of terror must be stoped!! If things don''t head up for me, may I become the one to stop them.

-Logan



Edited by Logan (07/21/07 05:41 AM)
_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

Top
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