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#167565 - 07/18/07 02:50 PM Re: so far [Re: Scoutvictim]
jessedawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 345
Loc: New York
I just dont know if I can do this

_________________________
Firefighters - your worst nightmare is just another day at the office.

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#167567 - 07/18/07 02:52 PM Re: so far [Re: jessedawg]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Anything in particular, Jesse - or just recovery itself? Don't try to take on everything. Maybe just posting and reading - you seem to be managing with that so far? Or have I missed something?

M


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#167569 - 07/18/07 02:58 PM Re: so far [Re: MarkK]
jessedawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 345
Loc: New York
Guess just letting go and admiting to myself that theres some serious problems that I need to address- cant even say the words, been hiding it all for so long, then I come here and in less than 2 days I find so many others who think and act and feel the same way that I do, its just hard to accept

_________________________
Firefighters - your worst nightmare is just another day at the office.

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#167570 - 07/18/07 03:01 PM Re: so far [Re: jessedawg]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jesse,

Originally Posted By: jessedawg
I just dont know if I can do this


It's very important to try not to do everything at once. We get flooded with feelings and confusion so easily anyway - try to take it easy on yourself. Our fears and feelings of powerlessness are greatest when we look at the whole beast and imagine we have to fight him to the death...right now...with a toothpick.

One thing you might try is to make yourself a list of questions and problems that are on your mind, and then pick one of those and concentrate on it, leaving the others for another occasion.

Another thing you can do is go to off-topic and start a discussion about something you like. A cool film you saw, a book you read, a song you heard, a hobby you have - anything...just not directly connected with abuse issues. It's important for us not to lose sight of the fact that we are full, complete, whole guys, with lots of things to offer and many varied and fascinating interests.

Hmmmmmm. Well, okay, MY interests are varied and fascinating...don't know about the rest of you... rofl \:D

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#167571 - 07/18/07 03:02 PM Re: so far [Re: jessedawg]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
I think I can understand some of how you might be feeling. I know it's been a long uphill climb at times trying to come to grips with what happened to me. Partly I suppose because I remember almost none of it - memories are just now starting to surface.

All I can say, Jesse, is you are worth the effort, but you need to go at your own pace. Like fighting a fire - you can't just rush in and try to put the whole thing out at once. Especially alone. Sometimes it takes a concentrated effort and teamwork.

M


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#167572 - 07/18/07 03:07 PM Re: so far [Re: MarkK]
jessedawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 345
Loc: New York
Like fighting a fire - you can't just rush in and try to put the whole thing out at once. Especially alone. Sometimes it takes a concentrated effort and teamwork.

right, now that I can understand

_________________________
Firefighters - your worst nightmare is just another day at the office.

Top
#167573 - 07/18/07 03:08 PM Re: so far [Re: jessedawg]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jesse,

Originally Posted By: jessedawg
Guess just letting go and admiting to myself that theres some serious problems that I need to address- cant even say the words, been hiding it all for so long, then I come here and in less than 2 days I find so many others who think and act and feel the same way that I do, its just hard to accept


Again, you aren't alone bro. So many others have walked through that door and discovered exactly what you are seeing. It's okay that it's difficult for you to accept and believe just now. You have done so much in two days!

Be gentle with yourself, okay? I know you will need to come to terms with what you have lost - that's very important. But also try to give some time to all those things you can achieve for now and your future.

A mod and very wise man on the site, Mike Church, used to tell me something over and over again when I was new here, and he was soooo right: "The future is where we're going to spend the rest of our lives".

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#167574 - 07/18/07 03:09 PM Re: so far [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

Originally Posted By: MarkK
Like fighting a fire - you can't just rush in and try to put the whole thing out at once. Especially alone. Sometimes it takes a concentrated effort and teamwork.


Wow, man, what a perfect example! Good call!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#167575 - 07/18/07 03:09 PM Re: so far [Re: jessedawg]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: jessedawg
Like fighting a fire - you can't just rush in and try to put the whole thing out at once. Especially alone. Sometimes it takes a concentrated effort and teamwork.

right, now that I can understand

I'm glad - I wanted to say something that might "click" for you.

M


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#167577 - 07/18/07 03:16 PM Re: so far [Re: Scoutvictim]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Jesse,

I'll repeat:

Just give it time, and don't feel pressured to "get it". It will sink in when your ready for it, and I promise it will feel like a ton of bricks has been lifted off your shoulders.

Be strong, and keep searching for your answers.


I also love the comment, "the future is where we will spend the rest of our lives".

It's up to you to make your future better.

Carl

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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