im new here. everyone seems quite supportive and kind. the question i have is:
i cant remember hardly anything before i was 18 and after that it is kind of hazy. i have some doubts about what was done and if it was done. ive been assured it has but i have a hard time beleving it. ive had all the troubles that come with S/A. all the anger and drugs and alcohol. why cant i accept that i was abused? my shrink says the reason i dont remember current things is that i am an expert on making myself forget.

im just starting on the journy called healing and im scared. i think i know a little about what it entails but i dont think i "really" know. sorry if im scatter brained. the only me i know is the person who used drugs, alcohol, tatoos, and piercings, and other selfdestructive behavior to cope. im learning new ways to cope but sooooo scary.
all the posts i read are great. they do help alot.
thanks all

Welcome Lee,

I am sorry that you have the need to find us, but glad you did.

You will find support here, these are a great bunch of guys. Read the posts and articles, respond when you feel like it, and post your questions/concerns/rants/insights when you feel comfortable. Some great learning about yourself is available here, I know I have.

Take care,
Bill

..hmm th topic i clicked on..got changed or somthing..moving post

Hi Lee,

Who has assured you it happened? Anger, drugs and alcohol are certainly symptomatic of sexual abuse, but they are also the symptoms of many other things too. You say you have doubts about what was done or if it was done, a hard time believing it. Is it possible that your shrink is trying to convince you that it happened in order to put a nice little label on your file? Peace, Andrew

im the oldest in a family of 8. my dad S/A my sister and she's fourth down the line. the brother yonger than me abused my sis. my sister says she knows i was abused. there are more signs and i asked my mom and she said i probably was. im to the point where memories are trying to come through and i get emotional flashbacks.

Lee
as someone once said "if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck , then it almost certainly is a duck !"
And your family history, along with your drink and drugs problems make it look like abuse.

I've just read your other post here about shame, and that's another sign. I had that written across my forehead for over 30 years.
But the shame actually lies elsewhere, with the abuser. It's his and his alone, as we heal we give it back. It's a great feeling.

So stick around and get all the support, help and friendship you need. There's a good bunch of guys here, and we want you to join us.

Dave