Just feeling it out here.
One time Id like to be able to say how I feel or what Ive done or talk about whats been done to me without either feeling like a complete freak show or seeing disbelief on someones face or being told to suck it up and get over it or feeling like Im in a "I been hurt worse then you" competition.
Anybody know what Im talking about here?

Jesse,

Absolutely. No one here will disbelieve you and we don't do comparisons either. Each of us has been hurt in some devastating way and we honor each others' space about that one.

And we all know that the hurt doesn't go away by "getting over it" or "sucking it up" - MAN....I hate both of those!

Take your time and speak up when you feel you can and want to, Jesse, but really, you WILL be respected and understood here. With a bit of time you will begin to see that on your own.

Much love,
Larry

Hey its not like Im about to shed any light whatsoever on anything that has to do with me or my issues but yes I can at least reach out. I dont want anyone to say that I went down without at least trying. Again- this place looks ok so far, its one more chance.

Yep, take your time and stay in territory where you feel safe. I always found that little steps were the ones that proved to be the most solid ones. Make yourself the priority here; you don't have anything to prove to anyone else here.

Much love,
Larry

Thats a first

In which case, hey, it's especially cool you found the site.

Much love,
Larry

Welcome to MaleSurvivor, Jessedawg,

Larry is right on here. We're all here for the same reasons: we had something devastating happen to us, and we're trying to heal the wounds that it left.

Everyone is equal here. It doesn't matter how long ago it was, how old you were or are, how long it lasted, or what actually happened. We're here to heal and comparisons like that get in the way. You have nothing to prove.

Take care,
Dewey2k

Sounds too good to be true

Hey Jesse,

Sometimes I don't think I've been hurt bad enough to be here. Other times I think I've been hurt too much to be here, or at least to be understood. Both are mind-tricks that my nightmares play on me.

Sometimes I write a lot here and then go away for awhile. It gets too much. But I keep trying to come back because it always seems like these guys know something about what I'm talking about.

The details might be different but the feelings, and my reactions to the crap that happened, often feels very similar. It makes me believe I'm not a freak.

Kenn

More things I read here the more I see that all the feelings about things are pretty much the same- and all this time I spent feeling like Im the only one, guess the joke was on me. I cant decide how I feel about it- I hate that Im here but Im kind of glad I found it. I hate that I have to go to therapy, I only do because the state says so. Most of all I hate myself and have a hard time believeing that anyone could like me just because, so I dont let people like me because I dont want to take the chance and find out they only pretended to like me so they could hurt me. Does any of this make sense? I dont know.