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#16574 - 09/26/03 07:57 PM Understanding Triggers
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Hello - I'm fairly new here, was posting under a different name before but decided to change it because I was too easily identifiable. In my initial enthusiasm of finding this site and its potentials, I mentioned it to people that might be curious and would certainly have known who I was had they decided to visit. That said, I'm curious about how people here define/view/interpret triggers. Seems like nearly everythng/anything can be a trigger for me lately. There have been developments in my life recently that have brought so many memories and emotions to the forefront that I can go from just fine one minute to a sobbing mess the next. And, it would seem to me, that nearly everything posted on this site could qualify as a trigger. Do different triggers get different reponses? Are there certain, specific things/situations/people, etc. that you (collectively) would recommend I avoid, or, on the other hand, deliberately encounter. Despite the fact that I've managed to carry on for 30 years, with varying degrees of success, it's all coming to a head now and I see no turning back...in fact I have no desire to turn back. Time to get it settled!!! Thanks guys, for your input.


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#16575 - 09/26/03 10:12 PM Re: Understanding Triggers
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Welcome again Sinking,

I am definitely no expert at this. But in my mind a trigger is anything that makes you react in a negative way. A trigger can be anything; a scent, a sound, a person, a place, an object, you name it and it could be a trigger.

Godsrabbit brought in the following post a couple of months ago and it is quite fitting to yours. Godrabbit\'s post: working on triggers.... I hope you find it helpful.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#16576 - 09/27/03 01:18 AM Re: Understanding Triggers
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Sinking, it is good to have you with us. I hope that you feel really safe here now.

For me, I can find myself having raw anxiety, being physically out of control in that I shake really badly, and that can happen for what appears to be no reason at all.

Reading about boys being abused, or watching movies on that topic will almost always cause me to have nightmares within a day or two or maybe the same night.

Sometimes, reading the stories of guys here can cause me lots of tension, but I would not say they trigger me. When I speak of triggering, I mean that I have an experience of feeling that I am back in the woods or in a shed, being raped. I hear the sounds and smell the smells and I am absolutely terrified. I know that I sometimes, more in the past now, but not and then I still apparently yell out loud. I am not sure what I yell--it just makes me get awake and I get out of bed. On some occasions, early on in recovery, that could happen when I was awake and perhaps reading or watching television, or even listening to the news or reading the paper. People tell me that when that happens I cry and shake and talk fast and am not in the place that I am in. When it happens around people who have never seen that it scares them a lot.

That has not happened for several months now--and that was in group therapy. Telling my story to someone can cause me to come very close to that. But, a therapist helped me to learn how to tell just the barebones of the abuse. When I do that I seem to be okay.

As difficult as it is, I am led to believe that these episodes means that we are moving along in the process of recovery.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#16577 - 09/27/03 11:25 AM Re: Understanding Triggers
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Well, damn. They're everywhere!! No kidding, but underwear was a part of the manipulation game that both of my abusers used. What I had, until now, treated or perceived as a 'fetish' really is a trigger. Just seeing underwear, putting it on, taking it off, hanging it on the line triggers something. How are we to avoid these everyday things? Obviously we can't. So what do we do about them? Can we take something like underwear that is a trigger and make something enjoyable out of it? Like incorporating it into my sex life with my wife? Has anyone ever managed to do this or even considered turning the tables on the triggers? Maybe they don't always have to be negative...maybe we can find control and make them work for us as opposed to against us.


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#16578 - 09/27/03 06:21 PM Re: Understanding Triggers
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Sinking,

There are some triggers you can avoid, and those you cannot. So avoid the ones you can. And work on overcoming those you can't. I know nothing about "turning the table" on a trigger.

Regarding underwear, my first perp ripped my underwear off me while I held tightly onto the elastic. I kept the elastic on, nothing else just the elastic which I would not let go of. Now you make me wonder if this had anything to do with the years and years I wouldn't wear any. Hum.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#455191 - 11/27/13 07:43 AM Re: Understanding Triggers [Re: Sinking]
une.vie.d.espoir Offline


Registered: 12/06/10
Posts: 110
Loc: Quebec-Canada
Thank you dearly for your post.

Jp

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#455228 - 11/27/13 02:07 PM Re: Understanding Triggers [Re: Sinking]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 752
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Sinking,

What you're describing doesn't sound like it really has anything to do with triggers so much as it has to do with your healing process. The triggers are a symptom that your stuff is rising to the surface to be dealt with. Sounds like a natural process to me and is an indication that the time is right for some or many issues to be dealt with, and also a sign that you are able to do so. The key to me would be to make sure you have the support you need. Good time for a therapist if you don't have one. Or, if that is not practical, really good time to keep your posting shoes on. I wish you good luck. Though this can be a very volatile time, it sounds like it will be a very productive time. Journalling may be a great idea while you are going through this. I have found it slows my mind down enough so I am able to make sense of what is happening to me, AND it's great for releasing old, trapped, and blocked energy.

My thoughts are with you,

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#455270 - 11/27/13 05:10 PM Re: Understanding Triggers [Re: Sinking]
Johnathan Offline


Registered: 02/23/12
Posts: 10
Loc: canada
If you know can you tell me what re-enacting your trama means. I think is is a result of triggers but I am not sure.
I know some things I have done that I am ashamed of but did not enjoy, it just made me more depressed.
I would love to understand how and if all of this stuff fits together. Also, do you have any recommended reading material.

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