I think a key for you lies in the question you ask:
I see this for everyone else - why can't I see it for me? If someone says their abuse was their fault, this voice inside of me screams "No - it is NEVER their fault."
I think the reason is that when we look at someone else we can, first of all, be objective, and second, see the "big picture". We can see the other guy as an innocent child, with no negative ideas or false lessons about him getting in our way, and as a good man today, struggling and striving like all the rest of us.
But when we look at ourselves, that's
where our vision is distorted. When the abuser messed with you, Mark, he didn't wreck your image of children in general, he ravaged your image of Mark. You see only yourself as guilty because you are the one the abuser hurt.
This is yet another area where "talking about it" - my mantra, I know - is so very important. As we connect with all those other innocent guys we begin to see that we must be innocent as well. We develop the skills we need to claim and believe in our own blamelessness too.