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#165499 - 07/09/07 07:09 AM Well, I'm here
Cidnie Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 113
Loc: SFC, CA
Yep...learned about this site through google, of all things...but hey, maybe it'll be good for me. I'm seventeen. I was sexually abused by an older foster brother from around ten to twelve. Aannd...that's about it...I'm just going to take some time to snoop around and read through some things. I just thought I'd introduce myself.
That's a rather morbid introduction, isn't it..?

_________________________
There is nothing natural about maturity in the physically immature. Maturity comes with wisdom, and wisdom comes with pain. Those of us with the greatest minds have endured the greatest torments.

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#165500 - 07/09/07 07:21 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Cidnie]
DrT Offline
New Here

Registered: 07/04/07
Posts: 1
Loc: NY
Morbid but real. I was abused when I was 21 and never told anyone until I was 55. Keep looking because the felling that you are alone is one of the worst parts of the abuse.


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#165501 - 07/09/07 07:26 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: DrT]
Cidnie Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 113
Loc: SFC, CA
I haven't really talked about it to anyone. A lot of social workers and counselors tried to get me to talk about it when I was younger, but I just clammed up and they gave up. Kind of ironic that now that I feel that I CAN talk about it, no one is there to listen.
I've been reading through some of the personal stories here and a lot of them are just...shocking...raw, and shocking. I feel disgustingly relieved...to find a commonality among everyone here. I guess that's just part of it, though.

_________________________
There is nothing natural about maturity in the physically immature. Maturity comes with wisdom, and wisdom comes with pain. Those of us with the greatest minds have endured the greatest torments.

Top
#165502 - 07/09/07 07:42 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Cidnie]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Welcome, Cidnie. I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm glad you are. You seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders and you will find a lot of helpful, friendly people here who will listen. I certainly have. There's nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be embarassed about, so just let it all out.

Once again, it's nice to meet you. Welcome!

Laz

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#165504 - 07/09/07 07:51 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Lazarus]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Cidnie,

Welcome to MS, and I'm glad you found us. If you're looking for guys to listen, this is the place. I don't find your intro morbid at all; it's always going to feel strange when we begin to talk about all these things. Just ease into things and read around, and you will find your own pace for talking about things. No one will judge or blame you here, so feel free to just let out whatever you need to talk about.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#165505 - 07/09/07 07:54 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: roadrunner]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
DrT,

Welcome to you too. You are so right: that feeling of "I'm all alone with this" is one of the worst parts of abuse. But you aren't alone here. When you feel you can, I hope you will take advantage of the discussion board and begin to talk about things. It really does help.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#165511 - 07/09/07 08:05 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: roadrunner]
Cidnie Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 113
Loc: SFC, CA
Thanks a lot for the welcome! I'm trying to think of how to write my story for that section of the forums, but it's difficult...I've spent a long time burying all of it and to dredge it up now, purposefully, feels awkward.
I'll be going to college soon...double major and a full time job...and it's just been affecting me for too long. I want to be able to focus on school and work...I'd like to be able to sleep again...so, I'm here.

_________________________
There is nothing natural about maturity in the physically immature. Maturity comes with wisdom, and wisdom comes with pain. Those of us with the greatest minds have endured the greatest torments.

Top
#165512 - 07/09/07 08:06 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Lazarus]
Cidnie Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 113
Loc: SFC, CA
Thank you, Laz! Yoroshiku! (Japanese for please to meet you) In time I'll find a way to put it all in words...but I'm glad to be here.

_________________________
There is nothing natural about maturity in the physically immature. Maturity comes with wisdom, and wisdom comes with pain. Those of us with the greatest minds have endured the greatest torments.

Top
#165586 - 07/09/07 10:33 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Cidnie]
emptydreamer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/19/07
Posts: 276
Loc: Midwest USA
Hey Cidnie, just want to add to the welcomes. Like everyone else, sorry you need to be here, but glad that you are. You will find much understanding and support here. Come when you want, post what you can, when you can. You will never be judged or condemned here.
Best wishes and warmest regards,
Scott

_________________________
I'm here for a reason. Failure is not an option.

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#165669 - 07/09/07 07:45 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: emptydreamer]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
so glad to see younger guys..............starting to deal with this crap.........only took me 40 years or so to get my crap together to realize why my life was so screwed up...and the playing factor of it...............my best to youins.........................steve


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#165675 - 07/09/07 08:42 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: sabata]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Welcome Cidnie!

You've taken an important step just in coming here and beginning to talk about it. Talking helps to empower you to heal.

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#165686 - 07/09/07 09:19 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: WalkingSouth]
JerrySan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 23
Loc: Clinton Indiana
Welcome Cidnie it took me a long time to talk about my abuse, just take your time.


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#165720 - 07/10/07 12:15 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: sabata]
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
Hi Cidine,

Add me to the list of Welcome's.

Glad you googled us.

It is not a morbid intro you did. You are family. We understand where you are coming from.

Read, chat and write as you are able. You already met some of the good guys and there are many more.

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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#165722 - 07/10/07 12:19 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: healing_inside]
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
Welcome also to Dr T.

Glad you found us also.

As you will find you have brothers here at various ages and experiences.

You have found the best place on the Internet for support and i am glad you did.

Take a look around and write as you are comfortable.

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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#165768 - 07/10/07 07:20 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: healing_inside]
Cidnie Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 113
Loc: SFC, CA
Thank you for the welcome, everyone. Went ahead and posted my story. Might as well get it out, right? I imagine you'll be hearing more from me in the way of autobiographies...writing has always been a sort of detached way for me to get things out.

_________________________
There is nothing natural about maturity in the physically immature. Maturity comes with wisdom, and wisdom comes with pain. Those of us with the greatest minds have endured the greatest torments.

Top
#165770 - 07/10/07 07:30 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Cidnie]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Cidnie,

I just want you to know I read your story. That was a brave thing you did to tell all that, and I am so sorry this happened to you. I think it's good to get this crap out in the open like this. When we do that we are reclaiming our voice, rejecting the silence, and throwing the blame back to those who hurt us. Well done.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#165771 - 07/10/07 07:40 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: roadrunner]
Cidnie Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 113
Loc: SFC, CA
Thanks, Larry. Finding my way through it all slowly, but surely.

_________________________
There is nothing natural about maturity in the physically immature. Maturity comes with wisdom, and wisdom comes with pain. Those of us with the greatest minds have endured the greatest torments.

Top
#166058 - 07/11/07 03:01 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: sabata]
kellygtx Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/11/07
Posts: 412
Loc: Texas, USA
Cidnie,

Welcome also. I am new here also but not to the pain, shame, and guilt you feel. I too was sexual abused (raped) many, many times by my older brother and his friend for two years when I was 10 and 11. How many times I don't know - but it only takes once. It has taken me 35 years to get past the disassociation and put things back into my conscious mind. I too am sorry you have to be here - but it is so much better than "where" I was and I am sure better then "where" you are.

I bid you Peace.

_________________________
I bid you Peace.

Kelly

The time is always NOW. Breath In. Breath Out. Move On.

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#166115 - 07/11/07 07:50 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: kellygtx]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
yea my brother was screwing me at age about 10-11------------sorry about what you all have had to deal with----------------------------------steve


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#166663 - 07/14/07 12:03 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: sabata]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6365
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
Cidnie and DrT....WELCOME!

I hate that you have to be here...but since we are all in this sames boat....{{{welcome hug!!!}}}

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#166775 - 07/15/07 10:43 AM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: DrT]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
DrT,

Originally Posted By: DrT
Morbid but real. I was abused when I was 21 and never told anyone until I was 55. Keep looking because the felling that you are alone is one of the worst parts of the abuse.


Just wanted to add my own greeting to you, and welcome to Male Survivor. I'm glad you found us and I can assure you that you will find a great bunch of caring supportive guys here.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#166834 - 07/15/07 03:21 PM Re: Well, I'm here [Re: Still]
deck Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/06
Posts: 109
Loc: Indiana
Welcome Cidnie and DrT


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