Newest Members
BusterJones, Desperateforhelp, aniceguy, Green_Lantern, Safe11ride
12121 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
betterdays (29), ChevyMan76 (46), cuda (48), swartzhund (42), wdf9 (70)
Who's Online
5 registered (WM, lapchinj, irishguym, 2 invisible), 61 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12121 Members
73 Forums
62520 Topics
438129 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >
Topic Options
#164604 - 07/03/07 01:50 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: pain4ever]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 10948
Loc: Denver, CO
Ever read Job? I turned to that book back in '95 when I thought everything was going down the toilet and I got some understanding from it.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#164605 - 07/03/07 01:52 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: FormerTexan]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Yes, I read the bible religiously...in a very religous family...found 13 churches my grandfather and his father. My grandfather BEING ONE OF MY PERPS.

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

Top
#164606 - 07/03/07 01:54 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: pain4ever]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 10948
Loc: Denver, CO
Yeah, my mother was one of mine and yet tried to wear a mask of religious impression from time to time.

I turned to Job because it was all I had to make sense of what was happening to me at the time.





Edited by FormerTexan (07/03/07 01:58 PM)
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#164608 - 07/03/07 01:58 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: FormerTexan]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Well...I am starting to think...no matter where I look for my answers, I will never find them (and I know maybe I am not worthy of knowing the answers) and my faith may never be restored because of my betrayed trust by the most "spiritual" man I knew....make that men.

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

Top
#164610 - 07/03/07 02:04 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: pain4ever]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 10948
Loc: Denver, CO
I will be the first to admit I don't have all the answers. I just believe in my heart there has to be a way to reconcile these things. We live in a totally fallen world. There's so much happening in the world that I cannot control. I can only look out for me, and try to lift up other tired folks along the way.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#164615 - 07/03/07 02:29 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: FormerTexan]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
this is a difficult thread - trying to put voice to why I believe has never been easy, though I don't understand why. and of course, not having many memories of my past, I don't exactly feel qualified to talk to people who remember with painful detail every moment ...

at the same time, I find it difficult to remain quiet when I see other struggling ...

I know enough to know the burning and frequent "falling" on my head could have easily killed me. But I'm still here.

I have found that therapists and councelors that have no experience with SA on boys have little chance of helping me cope. So if I can help one person - just one - because of what I've been through, then (for me) my past makes more sense.

Not because I value myself less - but because I value others so much more. Yes, my pain was bad - obviously - I've blocked out years. But I was never nailed to a tree to save people who were spitting on me and beating me.

I'm going to step down now and hope I haven't offended anyone...

M
__________________________
Hanging on by just fingertips is still hanging on


Top
#164626 - 07/03/07 03:30 PM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: MarkK]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Mark, you haven't offended anyone I think with what you posted -- I actually think you put it very well. And I, too, find it difficult to put to words why I believe and have faith as I do. I think the reason I get offended when I see "faith bashing", (i.e., saying what I base my faith on is akin to simple fairy tales), is that I view faith as something very central to my core. I guess it could be called the soul, if you will, but I do not think of faith as a thought process -- I view it as a physical part of my makeup. It's just who I am as a person and cannot be separated from me. That may be a weird way of looking at it, but it's how I've always viewed my faith, and I realize it may not be applicable to others, even those who have a faith in God.

P4E, and others looking for the answer to "why me?" -- I don't have that answer, but I like the way Mark put it above, which is that if my pain that I've been through causes me to help someone else, then I have a little better understanding of it. Like FT, I don't believe God consciousless wanted me to go through all the crap that I did, but being that it happened, I think He can use that experience in me to help others.

We often hear the question of "Why does God allow x or y to happen?" As Andy noted, it's the concept of a fallen world, otherwise we would be living in Eden right now. We are human, brokenness exists in our world, but I truly believe that we will never have answers to the Why question this side of our mortality.


_________________________
Eddie

Top
#164677 - 07/04/07 12:28 AM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: EGL]
Mark Antony Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 34
Loc: Michigan
There are many good questions being raised here. I have asked them myself with no concrete answer. The only thing I could come up with is the way God has created us with limited understanding. We do not have the same type of mind that God has. If we did we would all be God. Therefore we cannot understand all his ways. This includes why bad things happen to good people, why he gave us free will to hurt each other with, and "where does the love of God go when the pain turns the minutes to hours". These things I have accepted as mysteries that the answers to will not be revealed to us in this life. These questions just do not seem to have answers in this plane of existence so why beat yourself up looking for them. I have spent much time trying to find them and I just can't locate the answers.

Mark


Top
#164695 - 07/04/07 02:11 AM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: Mark Antony]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16263
For me the questions being asked here are not questions that one man can ever answer definitively for another man. The best we can do is state our belief and live our life in agreement with our convictions.

Having said that, I'm not sure there was ever any stones aimed at any one person in this thread, I read a lot of questioning here and consider those questions good and legitimate, but no one of us will ever be able to convince another in this realm. These answers come from a conviction born out of deep personal struggle and even heartache. Not all of us are going to choose the same road when it comes to these things, and I would hope that no one would resent or think less of the other because of the choices they make in this regard.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#164709 - 07/04/07 05:14 AM Re: Thing thats tough for me... [Re: WalkingSouth]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
There is so many questions in here that I believe we will never have the answers to. As for myself. My faith is the cornerstone of my recovery. If it was not for my faith I know I would not still have been here.

So why did God allow this to happen to me/us? I don't know, but I believe that He can use the pain and struggle I/we went through to help others going through the same. I know that because of what happened to me I am so protective of my two boys, something that might have been different if it didnt happen to me.

For a long time I blamed God for what happened to me. I still sometimes get angry at Him but I believe He knows why and don't condemn me for it. But I have to agree with something that was said earlier. God do not want to interfere with our own free will. If He did He could "force" us all to be christians and believe in Him. That is not how He operates. Adam and Eve had the choice to eat of the fruit and they did. We have the choice to believe in Him or not. Our perps had the choice to hurt us or not. If God intervened in that He would no longer be a fair God as He then took away the choice. I beleive He was tehre with me when it happened and I beleive He was hurt by it. But all is a fight between good and eveil. I also believe He was the one that "helped" me by not allowing any of my suicide attempts to be succesful.

For one minute imagine the following scenario: You are a father watching your children play outside. You are watching through the thick window in a room from which you are tied too (referring to free will). Then somebody comes and hurt your child. You can not get out because you are tied but you have to watch what is happening. You will be disgusted and hurt by this and not being able to do anything. The same with God. Our free will to choose can not enable Him to stop it from happening. He can however comfort us afterwards and cry with us.

My second perp was in the church as well. But I do not want to blame God any longer. It keeps me from having a relationship with Him. It keeps me from getting free from things that hold me back. I am on my way forward. I want to be healed and I will not let anything keep me from recovery. I beleive that God is the only one that can truely make us free. I have proven it, spirituality and faith and a close relationship with God and for me it has been my refuge. Since I started living closer to Him and focussing on my relationship with Him things have changed. It has been 7 weeks since the last time I was depressed at all. Not because of me but because of Him that helps me and in whom I find my strength.

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

Top
Page 3 of 8 < 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, SamV 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.