sometimes staying alive is not a blessing more like a curse,wonder if god knows how disappointed i was to wake up again every morning ? i dont think its a pity party ,admitting i got fucked by life is being realistic not self pity shadow

I agree, admitting that isn't self-pity. It's just facts and reality.

Shadow,

Please....I was aiming the pity party comment at myself...not you. I faced the facts but i found myself in a continual spiral of why...and self-pity. Like I said I was commenting on my own problem. I was not attacking you.

I too was there....cried that I woke up each morning to live that horrific nightmare of a childhood. Yes what happenned to us was God awful horribly wrong and horrific but you know what???? You survived it!!!!!! You are no longer a victim!!!

Dont continue to let it define you and your existance!

Brian

It's a hell of a lot better than the alternative...

WalkingSouth,

What is the alternative?? That we are alone...no greater power looking after us? We die...we actually die...no afterlife? That we are the "masters" of our own life?

Is it about control? Do we not want to beleive that we are in control of our own life?

Brian

Brian,

Hmmm..... You may die if you wish, but I think it would be a bit difficult to be the master of, and in control of your life while dead.

I'd much rather live for eternity in a place where there are no abusers, no evil, no emotional pain, etc. I'd much rather explore the universe at my leisure and learn the secrets of the atom. I'd rather make love in a world where there is no memory of abuse to cloud my enjoyment of it just when it's getting good. I'd rather be free to study, to learn, to build, to travel, to do any of the things I enjoy or am curious about, when and if I wish to do them, and to know that I have all of eternity in which to do it, free from any of the evil humanity currently knows.

That is why I believe.

I've had those days when staying alive didn't seem much like a blessing, but if I had died then, I would have missed out on things... Maybe not "stop the world, this is wonderful" stuff - but still stuff I wouldn't want to miss.
Personally - I think God knows. I also believes He weeps with us.

I would also agree that admitting my past is being realistic - though if I spend my life moaning about the past and not trying to recover my life, for me that would be self pity. And has been, I'm sorry to admit ... but no more. I now strive for the truth, regardless of how "good" or "bad" it might be - just so it is truth.

Hang in there...

denver_mark
_________________________
Hanging on by just my fingernails is still hanging on...

"Hmmm..... You may die if you wish, but I think it would be a bit difficult to be the master of, and in control of your life while dead. "

No No I wasnt saying I want to die! I was saying those are the questions I have...Is there truely an after life?? If we dont beleive that then what is the alternative?

I was asking what is the alternatives as you answered....

What is the alternative to have an after life...total death?
What is the alternative to beleive that God controls our life?? We are the masters of our life?

Those were questions on the alternatives...what do you think the alternatives are to beleiving in God and that entire faith?

p4e its cool k?i didnt think it was aimed at me at all. but i dont think you doing it was a pity party either. is it just that men know how limited they are that we have to believe we will go on? also and walking i know this dont apply to you ,but how many people follow that line of thinking and dont do the things in their life today that they should? well i'll put it off till tomorrow cause i got eternity .is it better to assume you will have a second chance at life or live it like this is the one shot i get? to me thats why healing is so imperative it has to happen now cause if i die next week id like at least one day of freedom. faith is a very strange thing to me cause faith is about believing ,i dont think its about what you have faith in as long as you have the ability to have faith ,the rock that sits in my front yard could be god to me and who can argue its not ,if i believe? i want to be honest without being an ass ,but whats being described is exactly the way i felt when i was a kid , and look what that faith got me. also one person tells me god cant interfere ,but the next one tells me i see god doing things in my life ,direct opposite views of the same faith. people tell me god cant help ,but god will help ? its less confusing to me to say ok maybe god created us ,doubtfull but maybe . but after that god is done with us ,freewill remember? why would god not help us yet still give us endless chances ? if i believe in your god i believe it makes perfect sense for him to say ok you got one life its up to you to do whatever with it ,no second chances . im not gonna waste any more time waiting for god to show up cause we all admit he wont,also if perps can get into heaven ,i dont wanna be there anyway

God gave all of us choices in our life but he will have the last word because evil doers have no choice in the afterlife!

I am not an MSA but for my 53 years on this earth I have grown up in an alcoholic home, was married to an abusive man and am now married to a verbally abusive one who also may be a MSA. I could say, why me?.. but I think God was there to show me the light at the end of the tunnel and I have reaped the benefit of becoming stronger thru these trials in my life.

I hope this helps a little..

Lorraine