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#164435 - 07/02/07 08:23 AM Re: sharing the pain [Re: shadowkid]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Could you be more specific please?


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#164436 - 07/02/07 08:33 AM Re: sharing the pain *DELETED* [Re: shadowkid]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
Post deleted by ttoon

_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#164444 - 07/02/07 08:59 AM Re: sharing the pain [Re: ttoon]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
At Adam's request, I am posting one of the letters that he found up in his attic. For those of you who don't know Adam, aka Shadowkid, I suggest that you go through the archives and read his story before you read this letter.

Adam before I post this I have to say this: I am humbled by the level of pain and betrayal that you have endured, all of which happened when you were just starting out in life. And yet, I REALLY mean this ok?, they could hurt you, but they could't break you. They couldn't break you. You were always better than that whole sick and twisted excuse for a family that you were born into. And I know this sounds kind of icky-sweet but I would do anything to go back and take you into a loving home that you deserved. This wasn't an easy letter to read but this NEEDS to be talked about. You're Mom doesn't deserve to be "resting in peace" right now.............and it pisses me off that someone could ever be treated like this. Ok here it is:




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#164451 - 07/02/07 10:09 AM Re: sharing the pain [Re: Hauser]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
*crying, hiding my tears at the office*

So sorry, Adam! But I'm still glad you shared this--trusted us with it. No shame.

David


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#164452 - 07/02/07 10:15 AM Re: sharing the pain [Re: MemoryVault]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Adam,

I am so sorry. I hadnt seen that letter before. Makes me cry and its a good thing. We are here to help.

Brian

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#164458 - 07/02/07 11:18 AM Re: sharing the pain [Re: pain4ever]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
how do you fix this?

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#164459 - 07/02/07 11:23 AM Re: sharing the pain [Re: shadowkid]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Adam,

You cant fix your past...you can only come to terms with it. You deserved to be loved yet you werent. That is a crime in itself. Too much to say but it would come out kind of harsh...not toward you Adam but toward your family.

You cant fix your family...but you have to stop letting them hurt you in one way or another.

Brian

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#164468 - 07/02/07 01:00 PM Re: sharing the pain [Re: pain4ever]
healingpartner Offline
Guest

Registered: 04/04/07
Posts: 407
You can't fix the past...only change the future. And know that is not your reality now.

Shadow can have what he wanted now...Adam can have this now.

I can't write any more....words are too empty for this pain.


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#164470 - 07/02/07 01:18 PM Re: sharing the pain [Re: healingpartner]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11088
Loc: Denver, CO
Here's my quick opinion-answer: Grieve the losses. No grieving is pleasant, but healing comes from grieving.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#164476 - 07/02/07 01:39 PM Re: sharing the pain [Re: shadowkid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Adam,

Originally Posted By: shadowkid
how do you fix this?


As Lorie has already commented, there's no fixing things that are in the past. We can only fix ourselves in the present and work for a better future.

One step in that process is to acknowledge and "own" our past. We have to identify how we feel and accept that these feelings are real and form the basis from which we have to start. But that doesn't mean the feelings are true. Take the example of guilt: feeling guilty doesn't make me guilty, right? But if I want to heal from my feelings I do have to admit what those feelings are. It's like other injuries: could I heal from a broken arm, for example, if I won't admit that my arm is broken?

Working through your feelings is where you are now, Adam. It hurts and it takes time, but you will get there. Believe me, you will. So many other guys here have been through this or are there right now. Just keep talking to us and let us sit together with these things and see what we can do.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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