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#164164 - 06/30/07 05:31 AM Question about D.I.D.
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I am curious of this, of how commen it is. I know one person who suffer of it, and I do see it and know it is genuine. But I do not know very much of it.

Today, just from being bored, and wishing to talk with someone, I was looking around other survivor chat rooms (no one in ours). Most there was no one in it, since it is middle of night for U.S. I did find one though, it have I think 8 people in it, and I was only man, so I did not speak so much. But it is amazing, while I am in that room, like an hour, there come in I think 4 or 5 different 'littles', as they say. Supposed, they all are adults with D.I.D., and it is the 'altars' who are in the chat room. They all write as they can not speak English proper, can not spell three letter words even, but all have same type grammer, like putting 'z' at end of many words (like, 'miz iz skredz' to mean 'I am scared'). I do not want to be nasty person, but truly, I did not believe none of it. It all seemed as some show, and the other members of the room was all 'snuggle' them and telling 'bedtime stories' and treating them as they are 3 or 4 or 5 year old.

I do not know, I think in some situations, it is smart to be non-belief of things. This just seemed, quite crazy to me, and to try to read that writing, it is hard enough the standerd English, but that was just impossible. Then I look at their forum, and in the D.I.D. forum, there is like 30 or 40 different people posting.

Is it possible that just, there is so few resources for it, that all these people end up there? Or is it just very unbelieveable and some place to stay quite far away of?

I leave there, I feel like I am searching of the White Rabbit.

VN


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#164165 - 06/30/07 05:51 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: VN]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Vn, I just went to chat.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#164166 - 06/30/07 06:59 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. *DELETED* [Re: VN]
ttoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 977
Post deleted by ttoon

_________________________
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle
02/07/09

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#164168 - 06/30/07 09:10 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: ttoon]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Hey, VN--

I agree with Dave --

Dissociation is a spectrum...and many of us are somewhere on that spectrum. We cut off memories and feelings, we tend to retreat when emotions run high, we often don't know what we're feeling deep down. But very few of us see ourselves as divided into multiple independent people.

I'm somewhere on the spectrum--I'm always basically me, but in different situations, people see very different parts of me. I've had sexual experiences and thought "Wow, that was great," and realized that I actually remembered only little pieces of what happened. At work, people ask me how my weekend was, and because I'm at work and not thinking about the rest of my life, I don't remember what I did. But that's not being multiple--that's just being kind of compartmentalized.

Real kids don't type "Z"'s after everything. That just seems like an adult's impression of a kid. Which doesn't mean it isn't real to them. They still are looking to be supported and comforted.

I knew someone a while ago who, I think, genuinely had DID. She'd wake up every morning, check the calendar on her alarm clock, and pray she hadn't blanked out a couple of days. She told me she'd sometimes wake up in other cities in clothes she didn't remember buying. She only learned about who she'd been and what she'd done from other people. It was terrifying for her.


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#164178 - 06/30/07 11:27 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: MemoryVault]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
I've just recently been told that I disassociate. Did it a few times while discussing my story with professionals. I don't think it ever happens for long periods of time and I do have kind of a picture of myself doing it, details are definately foggy, and it does take me a second to kind of clue back in, but I don't think it's and actuall switch over. More just one standing in front of the other.

I have a hard time remembering peoples names. I'm extremely stressed when I meet new people so I think this is one of the times I might be doing it. But again it seems to be for very short periods of time. It is very scary for me too think I might not be in control of myself at times, but I've just accepted it as part of my survivor issues that need to be addressed. Just thankful that I don't have large pieces of time that I can't remember.

Stay strong
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#164251 - 07/01/07 12:40 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: mogigo]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Visha,

As I read your post what struck me as really important wasn't so much the discussion of DID as your reaction to that chat room.

I have no idea what that site is all about or whether it's genuine or not. The world is full of strange things, that's for sure. But what's important is that you were concerned, you had your doubts, and then you got yourself out of there fast. You did what you thought was best for YOU.

That's cool thinking so far as I'm concerned. You're checking things out now, fine, but you kept safe first and foremost. You did what you needed to do. That's something we often find difficult: setting boundaries and then respecting them. You did exactly the right thing.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#164293 - 07/01/07 11:27 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: roadrunner]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Visha,

I think I know the chat room you were in, and I agree. I've associated with DID individuals in real life, and that chat room (or one like it) didn't seem quite right to me. Who knows for sure, but you and I had the same reaction to it and we both know individuals with DID. Sometimes it pays to follow our gut and look down a different Rabbit Hole!

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#164462 - 07/02/07 11:40 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: VN]
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
DID is real. I've dealt with it for many years. However, just like any illness, there are people who really want to get well, and there are people who find that they get more attention by being unusual. We've all met them. My wife has fibromyalgia, a mysterious, debilitating disease. She's fighting tooth and nail to push it into regression. Meanwhile, she works at a doctor's office where ladies come in on disability, can't work, can't do anything, whine, whine, whine, saying for the fifth time, "Did I mention I have fibromyalgia?", and my wife's sitting there listening to them at work, barely able to move. You get the picture.

My first therapist sent me to a mental hospital specializing in DID (back then it was MPD--even worse). These adults were coloring pictures with crayons and hugging their teddy bears, talking to each other in baby talk--and maybe they needed to do that. But I didn't belong there.

I am NOT the ultimate authority on DID. I just know what helped me. The aspects of my personality (and yes, they call them alters and all kinds of things) that took on various protective roles did need to explain their reasons for doing what they do. But what little I dabbled in coloring with crayons and acting like a child did not further the healing process. It just made me crazier. You have to remember that doctors, for the most part, have never had DID, so their treatments feed off of patients who sometimes like the thrill of being somebody else. And it's impossible for someone who hasn't had people talking in their head to understand someone who has. What helped me the most was letting those aspects of me talk about the abuse and how it affected them--not letting them perpetuate the myth that they are real people who belong outside of me.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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#164685 - 07/04/07 01:20 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: ForeverFighting]
Kid A Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/05
Posts: 85
I often dissociate and am torn and confused about what I can do when this happens. Yesterday I was in a group setting when I really became spacey and totally detached from the conversation as if I was watching a movie. This got me to become very sad which in turn made me feel much younger and feeling younger made me sad because it reminded me of why I first had to use dissociation: to pretend that the abuse wasn't real. So I am confused about dissociation because when it happens I want to hang out in it and see what its all about. It puts me closer to the child that was abused and further from the mask and shell I created for the world to see in order to hide. I want to explore my dissociated states because it puts me closer to the piece of me that was vulnerable yet safe before the abuse.


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#164688 - 07/04/07 01:28 AM Re: Question about D.I.D. [Re: Kid A]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
What mostly I was asking, how commen is it? That, twice, if I go to this chat room, 50% or more of who is in the room is 'littles'? And they have different log in names then the adult one? It seem like it is lies, and a show to get attention. If someone do that, perhaps they need it, but it feel like very 'codependent' place to me.

VN


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