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#162567 - 06/21/07 08:04 AM new
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
hi i'm new here, not sure what to say

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162569 - 06/21/07 08:11 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
deck Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/06
Posts: 109
Loc: Indiana
welcome... you can discuss whatever you feel comfortable discussing. Move at your own pace. take a look around at some of the other posts, there might be things that strike you as pertinent and helpful.


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#162571 - 06/21/07 08:23 AM Re: new [Re: deck]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Hunter -

Looks like a good way to start \:\)
Welcome.

M

_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#162572 - 06/21/07 08:23 AM Re: new [Re: deck]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks ive been looking around for a little while before i joined, my mom looked too she don't like me being around on the computer much she thinks theres too many weirdos out there and i'm sure she's right, but she thinks it's cool here. dad doesn't think i need help, thinks i should suck it up and be a real man about it.
hunter

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162575 - 06/21/07 08:31 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
you are being a man about it. welcome

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#162578 - 06/21/07 08:40 AM Re: new [Re: shadowkid]
buzz_key Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 635
Loc: USA
welcome hunter.
i respectfully disagree with your dad. I "sucked it up" for 35 years and here I am..."It" WILL demand to be dealt with, at some time in your life, whether you like it or not.

This is the place my friend!


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#162583 - 06/21/07 08:48 AM Re: new [Re: buzz_key]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
awesome. i disagree with him too and i told him so but he's old school, i gotta talk to peeps about it i cant jsut keep it in thats not me, i'm not gonna just sit here and let it fuck up all my life. had some troubles with my brothers friend for a while and i never said anything about it. i dont want to go through that again. plus dad was way more pissed off at me for smoking weed then anything else. i think i get that, like i think he focused more on that so he wouldnt have to think about what happened. me and him dont get along since then.

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162589 - 06/21/07 09:00 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
knot4sail16 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 44
Loc: Southeastern U.S.
Hunter,

welcome. I just joined this week too. It is great that you are on here. I must echo shadow kid, this is a huge step in becoming the man you are meant to be. Welcome to the process. We are all here at different points along that path.

peace

_________________________
letting the broken pieces be shaped into something new and beautiful is the greatest joy and struggle of this journey

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#162592 - 06/21/07 09:08 AM Re: new [Re: knot4sail16]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks!

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162598 - 06/21/07 09:31 AM Re: new *DELETED* [Re: Hunter18]
krayoss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 112
Loc: west
Post deleted by krayoss


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#162602 - 06/21/07 09:36 AM Re: new [Re: krayoss]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks! cute dog by the way.
i'm reading a lot of stuff here and most of it is real smart, a lot of wisdom like you say. some of it is way too heavy. it seems like everyone really cares. thanks about my attitude, i try to have a good one as much as possible. today is a good day tomorrow might not be.

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162604 - 06/21/07 09:40 AM Re: new [Re: krayoss]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Welcome to MaleSurvivor, Hunter.

I'm glad to hear you have your mom's support in this. That can be extremely important. From the few words you've said about your dad, it sounds like he is in denial.

One thing: It takes a "Real Man" to face what has happened to us. Don't let anyone tell you differently.


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#162608 - 06/21/07 09:47 AM Re: new [Re: Dewey2k]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
yup shes supportive but i hate it sometimes, she gets so upset and i know she just doesn't know what to say or do sometimes. most of the time i don't let her know when i get so sad or angry, it doesn't do her any good to know, shes a good mom and i don't want to hurt her with all this. dad is in denial i think, why else would he not talk about it or mention it, he ignores me and acts like i'm this big embarrassment to him and the family. i tried and tried to talk with him but he gets annoyed at me, yells and hits, then my mother gets pissed and goes right after him, then they get into it. i just can't stand that so i go about my business like i'm invisible. that's what he likes so that's what i'll do. he doesn't think real men should cry or even admit when things hurt.

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162611 - 06/21/07 09:55 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6510
Loc: Terminus
Hunter,

I said to myself "suck it up...get on with the life you've been dealt." It NEVER worked! So glad you are dealing with it now.

Welcome.

Robbie

_________________________
When the phone don't ring, I'll know its you.

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#162612 - 06/21/07 09:57 AM Re: new [Re: Still]
GWsurvives Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/07
Posts: 251
Loc: Atlanta, and here, among othe...
ShaowdowKid said it best (jeesh he's smart).. "You are being a man about it"!!!

Welcome to the "Brotherhood".

GW

_________________________
"Some times there just aren't enough rocks" Forrest Gump

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#162613 - 06/21/07 09:59 AM Re: new [Re: GWsurvives]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks! \:\)

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162618 - 06/21/07 10:35 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Hey Hunter, just wanted to add my welcome. Your in the right place, lot's of great people and love and support.

Your Dad is very wrong, I had the exact same kind of Dad.

Stay Strong Buddy
Mike

_________________________
Thriving

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#162621 - 06/21/07 10:37 AM Re: new [Re: mogigo]
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
Hunter, welcome... this is a great place to be.

Jay


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#162632 - 06/21/07 11:21 AM Re: new [Re: Jaysen]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Welcome aboard Hunter.

We all process and handle things differently. I know of a girl that was repeatedly raped by 3 of her mothers' concurrent boyfriends and she turned out fairly normal, (albeit with professional help) if you can believe that.

I also know of a guy who, when he was a boy, was sexually abused only once by a neighbor, and yes he told, and yes the guy went to jail, and yet, still years later, he's struggling to deal with the feelings and anger and all the emotional garbage that was started by that one incident.

What's my point? We're all different people. It's not outside the realm of possibility for a survivor of sexual abuse to just "deal with it" and live a fairly good quality of life (without professional help and support), BUT just because YOU maybe can't doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. And your Dad has NO RIGHT to make that judgment for YOU.

Does he KNOW what happened to you? Have you given him the details?


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#162635 - 06/21/07 11:37 AM Re: new [Re: Hauser]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks! nobody knows the details about what happened, i dont think i'll ever tell anyone that. i wish i could just deal with it like he wants me to. it would make everything much easier if i could.

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162638 - 06/21/07 11:45 AM Re: new [Re: Hauser]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6510
Loc: Terminus
Originally Posted By: Hauser
And your Dad has NO RIGHT to make that judgment for YOU.


AMEN HAUSER!!!!!!

_________________________
When the phone don't ring, I'll know its you.

The Aftermath Video

My Absolute Hero!

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#162639 - 06/21/07 11:47 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Well perhaps at some point in the future you'll be strong/angry enough to stick the gory details (the broad outlines can be just as sobering) in his face and that might help him to at least acknowledge that someone else has a different point of view about sexual abuse.

Shortly after I came to this site, I wrote a letter to my parents and I berated/chastised them for being neglectful and so absorbed with their own petty problems that they couldn't even tell that their son was being sexually abused throughout the course of a summer. I wrote it to both of them at once, no more secrets. Let me know if you would like to read it.


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#162641 - 06/21/07 11:49 AM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Hi Hunter,

Awesome to have you here! Sorry about what happened to you, but I think you're doing a good thing when you find safe "peeps" to talk to about it. It'll help you a lot.

Safe Hugs,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#162643 - 06/21/07 11:52 AM Re: new [Re: Hauser]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
i tried telling him some things before but he tells me to shut up about it, another time i tried and he told me to shut up but i went on anyways and he hit me, so now i don't say a word about it to him anymore i just stay out of his way. i do want to read what you wrote. thanks.

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162650 - 06/21/07 12:32 PM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States

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#162652 - 06/21/07 12:43 PM Re: new [Re: Hauser]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks. i read it and wow i wish i could say stuff like that to my dad. it helps, when i have something to say at home i'll think of this and it will help

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162661 - 06/21/07 02:02 PM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hunter,

Just a late word of welcome to the site. You did "suck it up" bro; it takes real courage to come to a place like this and ask for the help you need. You'll find a lot of support and understanding here. Just take your time, okay? Find your own pace and make yourself your priority.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#162856 - 06/22/07 11:55 AM Re: new [Re: roadrunner]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162860 - 06/22/07 12:07 PM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Welcome, Hunter. You came to a good place. The guys here are safe, and although we all have some quirks, no real weirdos in the bunch. You are doing a wonderfully brave thing by being here. You can talk about anything that's on your mind, the guys here are the most understanding, non judemental group I've ever seen.

Again, welcome and I look forward to getting to know you better over time.

Dan

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#162861 - 06/22/07 12:08 PM Re: new [Re: dannym]
Hunter18 Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/21/07
Posts: 25
Loc: Wildwood
thanks that is good to know because i have a lot on my mind

_________________________
Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world."

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#162871 - 06/22/07 02:20 PM Re: new [Re: Hunter18]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hunter,

Originally Posted By: Hunter18
i have a lot on my mind


I'm sure you do! That's how it is for all of us when we first show up here. I remember bouncing around the site and thinking, "Oh my God! I'm not going crazy. I'm not X or Y or Z (fill the blank with every bad thing in the world)." Then I would see something else and think, "Me too!" It's pretty powerful to discover that you aren't alone and that what's fucked up isn't you but what was done to you.

Like I said, just find your own pace and don't burn out in a day. ;\) We don't resolve this crap so fast as you might at first think, so it's important to stay safe, comfortable, and okay about communicating with the other guys. No one will acuuse you, judge you or think you're weird, but hey, we'll be around awhile. There wll always be a spot for you to flop here.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#162934 - 06/22/07 06:33 PM Re: new [Re: roadrunner]
Xavier91 Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/11/07
Posts: 84
Welcome hunter

_________________________
Rather laugh about what has been
Then fear what still comes, perhaps
Rather loving a big ghost
Then hating something that you can’t see

You are gone, but closer then ever

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#162993 - 06/23/07 01:04 AM Re: new [Re: Xavier91]
healing_inside Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 2005
Hunter,

Welcome to a very special place.

_________________________
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life

*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***

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