since finding some space for myself -

i'm realizing it is ok - to experience what i experience -

aka FEELING THINGS -

I am stepping back now - and experiencing stuff honestly -

like - if i work out - and walk a mile to the river -

it's ok to rest -

If someone comes at me - with a desire - to connect -

I do NOT have to bend - yet - I can say - if I truly want

to be - with them - I think often I would avoid those - who I even really want to be with for that fear -

of what if - I do have this boyfriend -

we all experience differently - and so -

it's real important to be present to that -
and careful -

anyways - it is a sunny day -

have a fine day

Mark,

I often find myself at a club, hoping to meet someone, but when a person approaches me, I pull back.

I think when they come to me, I feel like they want to use me. I have tried to realize they may just find me attractive, but I feel more comfortable initiating any contact.

It's something we all have to work with, and I'm trying.

I hope I'm healing.

Luv ya,
Carl

actually - even with close contact -

there's that final step of taking a chance

i usualy balk -

Very nicely said!

thanks wesque