Hi there, my name is Kenneth, Im 24, gay and a survivor of childhood molestation and rape.
I thought I have been pretty strong over the years, I seems to be doing ok. but really I suffer extremely badly to triggers, cause me to loose my jobs, my relationships and friendships. I often block it out or blame it at other things happening to me at the time.
I have come across this website before, but never really had a chance to really look into it as I often want to block it out and pretend its not there at all. That I don't have a problem.
Now that Im a bit older, and realises that all these abuse seems to have quite an impact on me, so Im just slowly facing it I guess.
I have seen therapist before, only once or twice back in my teenage years, but stop going because they give me terrible triggers and the fear of sitting in a room with one of them alone while experiencing a trigger is worst than anything else. Hence I often get offer free counselling, even from work etc, but I often failed to turn up
Its really hard to explain, I think Im blabbering on, but Im really not good at expressing these things. Anyway Im glad I found this website, been reading some of the post and am so glad that I can find people here whos been can relate to me because we have been unfortunately gone thru similar situations.
Im not good with these forum things, was wondering when is a good time for chats, went into the chat room and Im the only person there
Im from NZ but have just moved to Sydney, Australia, be nice to meet other people in the same region so we can chat on real time.
Thats it from now, I really don't know what to say. I just want to thank all of yous for sharing your stories, even though I might not have participated, but after reading some of the posts here, it has provided me with a lot of comfort.
Take care all