Hi there, my name is Kenneth, Im 24, gay and a survivor of childhood molestation and rape.

I thought I have been pretty strong over the years, I seems to be doing ok. but really I suffer extremely badly to triggers, cause me to loose my jobs, my relationships and friendships. I often block it out or blame it at other things happening to me at the time.

I have come across this website before, but never really had a chance to really look into it as I often want to block it out and pretend its not there at all. That I don't have a problem.

Now that Im a bit older, and realises that all these abuse seems to have quite an impact on me, so Im just slowly facing it I guess.

I have seen therapist before, only once or twice back in my teenage years, but stop going because they give me terrible triggers and the fear of sitting in a room with one of them alone while experiencing a trigger is worst than anything else. Hence I often get offer free counselling, even from work etc, but I often failed to turn up

Its really hard to explain, I think Im blabbering on, but Im really not good at expressing these things. Anyway Im glad I found this website, been reading some of the post and am so glad that I can find people here whos been can relate to me because we have been unfortunately gone thru similar situations.

Im not good with these forum things, was wondering when is a good time for chats, went into the chat room and Im the only person there Im from NZ but have just moved to Sydney, Australia, be nice to meet other people in the same region so we can chat on real time.

Thats it from now, I really don't know what to say. I just want to thank all of yous for sharing your stories, even though I might not have participated, but after reading some of the posts here, it has provided me with a lot of comfort.

Take care all

Kenyth,

Hi,
I am from the US and just discovered this site in February of this year. Keep posting on the discussion boards. You will get good feedback. I came back from seeing my first therapist in years, last Thursday, and these folks were here for me. I hope that you stay around. You are amongst friends here that get it.

T

Hey!
yeah the chatroom is hit or miss. sometimes its packed and sometimes its empty. the most popular time i found is nighttime in the US. i think its a 14 hour difference there? i cant remember time zone. so try mornings if you tried nights.

also, if one on one therapy freaks you out, maybe look into group therapy?

Kenyth,

Glad you got to the point of being able to post on this site. As I’m sure you already know it’s a great place of understanding and support.

And guess what, I’m in Australia too! Perth that is, so we can probably better coordinate some chat time when we’re not sleeping whilst the rest of the world is awake.

I so hear you on being in a better place (age wise) to start to work on this more now than you have in the past. Sometimes, for some people, they need several years gap between when the abuse ended before they can start to work through their recovery. It’s simply too upsetting to even contemplate before then. It was for me certainly.

You can send me a Private Message (PM) if you wish to coordinate a chat time or simply reply to this post. To send a PM to me, click on my screen name (Grunty1967b), and choose from the drop-down menu the option “Send a PM”.

Looking forward to seeing more of you here.

Hi, Kenyth, and welcome to the MS site. I'm glad you found this place to help in your healing. There's a great bunch of guys here who really understand what this is all about and how you feel. Talk as much as you want, when you want.

Hey Kenyth,

Welcome to MS.

This is a great place with many great guys who can help you through what is an intense struggle. Its seems like no matter how weird you may seem your reactions to things....someone here has felt the samething. It makes life alot easier know your not alone!

Vent all you want, talk all you want...you are never blabbering...talking is how we get our issues out. We nned to do that and no matter how odd you may think your issue is, its not. We are all in same boat but in different stages of healing here.

Thank you for posting and saying "Hi", it takes great courage to take that first step. It seems like you have a good foundation in your feelings and triggers and for that I am proud of you.

Chat here, like has been said before, is hit and miss but just check in everyonce and a while. I don't know what the time difference is so I wont be much help.

Anyways....Welcome friend!
Brian