NO MATTER HOW TERRABLE THAT IT SEEMS YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I feel alone allot, but I gaining some strength from this website, I started writing my story today but I had to stop because there were to many triggers. hope to continue tomorow and until it is done. My biggest fear is that I have forgot some of the details. That sounds strange because i realy do want to forget.

hangingon,

Writing things down is a very empowering experience. As we remember details, organize them and keep revising what we have on the page, we regain a sense of control. We are taking charge, breaking the silence and acting in ways that are good for us - all very important moves forward.

Much love,
Larry

Thanks Larry:

I guese the problem I'm having is when I get to the actual words that descide what happened. I start triggering and have to stop. I just want to be able to finish this with having to stop or having all the feeling come back.

Hi hangingon,

Describing the actual details is upsetting for obvious reasons. Something you might try is to write out the whole narrative at a higher level first, and then come back and fill it in with more detail if you think you need to. That will get you past the feeling of being "stuck" and will get you making progress.

Hangingon,

I remember that feeling. So many times when I was writing I would just break down in tears. But I needed to do that. I had a lot to cry about, and I had not allowed myself to do so for years. In your case, just remember that you can always stop and take it up again later. Always place yourself first as a priority - your recovery is all about YOU, after all.

Much love,
Larry

Larry,

I stoped so many times I don't know if I will ever get done. I part that scares me is the thoughts that I get sometimes that I can't mention here. i just hope I can keep coming here for some hope and maybe some peace. I read some of the stories and wonder how long it took people to write, there all so sad yet happy to see these people are still here to talk about it.
mark

I know that feeling. I also know that there is no rush. We might feel in a hurry to get all these things out, but really, there is no rush. Just take the time you need, and then step back. When you're ready, you'll write some more. Trying to force yourself through it is probably just too hard.

I'm sorry you need to be here, but I'm glad you've found us.

Joe

Mark,

Welcome to the club:



We ALL get thoughts like that, bro. Like I just said to someone else in a different post today, I wish I had a nickel for every wild, bizarre or gross thought I have had concerning my abuse issues!

Just bear in mind that abuse breaks down a boy's sense of boundaries, and when we try to reconstruct these boundaries our mind has to pick up and examine all sorts of things, including ideas and thoughts we would never act on. What's important is how we respond to those thoughts.

In your case, you are concerned about them and that has led you to talk to others in search of a solution and a safe way forward. Sounds pretty healthy so far as I can see!

Much love,
Larry

thanks you guys for the words of encouragement and continued support.

Mark