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#158903 - 05/29/07 01:11 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: pain4ever]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home

"I go for bad boys..."now that rings a bell to me...the question to ask is why?

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#158904 - 05/29/07 01:13 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: FormerTexan]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
It seems with friends...well...I have learned to live without. I make a great friend...I can listen but when the reverse comes around they all are gone...either that or I help then they never help me when it is needed.

I have found a friend at work and we have opened up about some stuff up at work but where my problem lies is in the more intimate relationships. Seriously I push the good ones away and I really dont want to!

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#158906 - 05/29/07 01:27 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: pain4ever]
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home

Intuition is the way we can bypass our old behaviour patterns and replace them with healthy ones.

Relax and listen to your self.

Morning Star

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#158912 - 05/29/07 01:51 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: Morning Star]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11027
Loc: Denver, CO
"I have learned to live without. I make a great friend...I can listen but when the reverse comes around they all are gone...either that or I help then they never help me when it is needed."

Very few people can live without friends. The loneliness is too unfair, and the lack of validation [that relationship gives us] is painful. If I were you, I too would feel put off by the lack of reciprocation on their part. No one owes anyone reciprocation in the relationship, but it would be unrealistic to expect that relationship to continue, just in my thinking. Don't get me wrong though, there are times when love for another human being can reach beyond the lack of reciprocation. When others in life have filled our cup generously, we can fill the cup of another who may or may not reciprocate, and be alright with that. If they don't that for us, they may do it for others down the road.

I'll stop running on now.



Edited by FormerTexan (05/29/07 01:54 PM)
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#158913 - 05/29/07 01:53 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: FormerTexan]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
No its great to hear because I have been to that point where I loved someone to the point where reciprocation wasnt neccessary but it collapsed....couldnt handle it. Its a hurtful place to be...I am sorry FT.

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#158915 - 05/29/07 01:56 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: pain4ever]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11027
Loc: Denver, CO
"I am sorry FT"

No need to be, my friend. I just worry that I get too preachy. \:\)

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#158917 - 05/29/07 02:01 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: FormerTexan]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Never too preachy...just helpful! And you can never be too helpful.

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#158922 - 05/29/07 02:24 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: Morning Star]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Originally Posted By: Morning Star

"I go for bad boys..."now that rings a bell to me...the question to ask is why?



That is a good question and I still dont know the answer.

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#158937 - 05/29/07 03:55 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: pain4ever]
Chain Breaker Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 376
Loc: Michigan
I don't know the answer for sure, but I'll venture a few guesses. Take what fits and leave the rest.

1. Because they are "bad," they are more exciting.
2. You may still have big self-worth issues that tell you that you don't deserve to be treated well.
3. It's familiar: Being hurt is familiar territory for you. Familiar is always easier than healthy. (If it weren't, I wouldn't be 125 lbs overweight, lol!)
4. It's predictable. You have a world-view that says, "People are untrustworthy; if they pretend not to be, they are even more dangerous." If you get in with a "bad boy," he will hurt you, and you will get what you expected to get -- not necessarily what you really wanted, but what you expected.
5. Perhaps you may have some "gay-shame" issues. If you started out thinking you were straight and living as though you were straight (correct me if I'm wrong), there may be some unresolved shame issues arising since identifying yourself as gay that lead you into destructive relationships with men.

I don't know whether these will even make sense for you, but you might try them on for size.

Joe



Edited by Chain Breaker (05/29/07 09:15 PM)
_________________________
My name is Joe. I am a survivor and a good man. You can count on me.

CB

"[Insert your name here], I am [Chain Breaker]. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"
--Wind In His Hair, Dances With Wolves

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#158945 - 05/29/07 04:26 PM Re: Looking for people to hurt me???? [Re: pain4ever]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
You get what you expect in life because you project yourself as injured and in need.
Some will be good to know in life, others, will take what they can get.

Toss out anyone who hurts, and find some decent friends, thats what I do, kick butt on anyone who takes advantage.
Not easy, but never impossible,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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