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#15852 - 05/08/03 12:37 AM Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Funny how a few short weeks ago things seemed to be running along pretty smoothly. Just had a visit from a good survivor friend, had some good “T times,” getting out of the house more & isolating less, less a/o on the computer, on the verge of getting my certification, doing more water aerobics, bringing in more money, feeling better in every way, starting to make some good plans for the future like maybe finally getting a house and going into teaching.

Now a few weeks later it seems like life is falling apart & the sky is falling on me. Some more stuff out of my painful past coming out that I'm trying to deal with, getting scammed & not getting my certification, having all kinds of hassles with my fitness center managers, having to quit some water aerobics classes this morning & possibly the rest tomorrow, my daughter spraining her ankle & her boyfriend hurting her back right when its time to go pick her up from college for the summer, the other daughter backing into a car in the parking lot at her college last night, not sleeping well, chronic pain flaring, getting really depressed, starting to want to isolate again, a/o more again, feeling like a total failure & loser.

Now, on the way to a water aerobics class this evening, I had a car accident. First one since the biggie in 93 almost 10 years ago, but my 4th total, and there is no question about this one. Second accident in which I've been charged but the first one that is legit, even tho his turn signal came on rather late & his stop was somewhat abrupt; clearly my fault. And fortunately there was a cop right on the scene to prove it. I wrecked right after passing this cop who had pulled over someone for speeding or something, and luck me he saw the whole thing. Let the guy go without a ticket—the guy oughta thank me. Yes I got a ticket in the hospital but the cop was nice & apologetic. Told him my fault & he is just doing his job. Fortunately the truck I rear-ended was hardly scratched & none of its occupants were hurt. They were real nice too. Even helped me & the cop push my car off the road. A company pick up truck & driver & workers so apparently no problem there. I'm ok, was taken to ER & released. Major back contusions, neck & shoulder pain—as if I didn't have enuf of that already! Gotta do ice a few days then heat, take some pain & anti-inflammation meds that will keep me from driving—like I need it & like I have a car to drive anyway. Right when I need to move both daughters home from college within next few days; they're making other arrangements. Well my wife has been wanting a new car…

Oh yes there's more. We leave the hospital my wife & I drop off my pre>
_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#15853 - 05/08/03 02:44 AM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
RickL Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 84
Loc: Oregon
Victor,

I'm so sorry that all this adversity is coming your way. As you say, all you can do is laugh--and find the silver lining.

I remember a period of adversity I had in 1997. My wife told me she wanted a separation (2nd time she had floated the idea). This time I saw her resolve, and I knew it was a done deal. I think I also knew we would not be getting back together. This was one of the most painful days of my life.

Then, 3 days later, my employer fired me. The job was having its difficulties, but it still surprised me. I had never been "fired" before.

It was a pretty dark time. But I had a center core of hope and trust that the co-incidence of these two life-changing events was no coincidence at all. It was being made abundantly clear to me that I needed to make some deep seated changes and soul-healing in my life. That is when recovery for me began in earnest. And the "stacking" of these difficult events actually energized me--because I had lost everything, it gave me a kind of wierd feeling of freedom and hope.

Rick


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#15854 - 05/08/03 09:51 AM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Victor,

I had planned to check your other thread last night, but we had some bad thunderstorms and I feared for my motherboard.

Sounds like a lot on your plate at once. I'm glad to hear you and your wife were able to laugh. Sometimes circumstances seem so ridiculous that laughing is the best response.

I hope your back, neck, and shoulders can settle down after this. I've had some problems in the same areas after auto accidents, and I can empathize.

If this is the first accident/moving violation in some period of time (varies by state, I think), your insurance company may overlook it in setting your rates. Sometimes listing the driver with the better record results in better rates, too.

I hope your wife doesn't have a lot of pain from the tooth. I don't think I have a single whole natural tooth in my head, and I've had incidents like what happened to her.

I read something recently in some 12 step literature about being careful what we ask our HP for. One quote was something like, "I asked for strength, and You gave me difficulties to overcome." Not saying that you asked for this, but maybe there's a reason for this all happening at once, but you haven't learned the reason yet.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#15855 - 05/08/03 09:54 AM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Victor,
I'm truley sorry for the trials that are going on in your life right now. It sounds like these are the last thing you need in your life. But, remember my brother you are a survivor not a quiter. Adding a car payment may put a strain on your finices but try to always find the bright side of everything. Your ok, the people in the truck are ok. It may not be a good time to buy a new Victor but at least your ok, it's lots easier to buy a new car than loseing you. Victor if there is anything I can do let me know, I use to sell cars so I would be willing to help you anyway I can.

Be safe my brother wolf.

James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#15856 - 05/08/03 12:53 PM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Victor:

I read your post and having nothing but praise for the way you are handling it. To be able to include the gremlins and that you and your wife laughed hysterically is an added bonus.

Dont get me wong I have a great deal of sympathy for what you are going through but you have recognized tha you cannot be held responsible for every event around you. And that is good news BROTHER WOLF.

Were you not on the road all of us try to stay on think of how you would feel. Deserve every bit of it to reconfirm that you are no good. What a refreshing thing to read.

Others can take inspiration from this post. It truly defines what we are all about.

For myself I think you have done remarkably well and deserve a cyber hug from this brother wolf.

Mike

AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#15857 - 05/08/03 04:41 PM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Rick:

Quote:
And the "stacking" of these difficult events actually energized me--because I had lost everything, it gave me a kind of wierd feeling of freedom and hope.
Thanks bro. I hope that feeling will be coming along before too long. Right now I'm just kinda numb & in the twilight zone, physically & emotionally.

But I do know what you mean. I've been there before myself.


James:

Thank you brother wolf I do truly appreciate that.
The claims adjustor just called & I have no doubt the car will be totalled out. We were still paying on the old car, just a lesser amount than a new one. My wife will probably pick up another car from an area dealer of the same kind. Thanks.

Mike:

Thank you my wolf brother. If reading this post helps anybody get thru their rough times of any kind I will be grateful. I know reading about some of the things guys like you have been thru here has made me laugh & cry, hurt with empathy & be utterly inspired & strengthtened to go on. Thank you Mike.

AAAOOOOWWWHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!


Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#15858 - 05/08/03 04:51 PM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
mattandrew Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/26/01
Posts: 376
Loc: Florida
Hey Victor,

Sorry brother for your rough couple of weeks,try to rest as much as you can and do yourself a favor go and get a second opinion after everything coold down over the next couple of days.I personally do not trust the ER and their radiologists after having several findings later by a second opinion.I truly hope you are not with Gei** for your auto insurance carrier,they are like fighting an up hill battle.I heard that if you buy an SUV you can get a tax break \:D ,this might help you.Hope you and the wife get better luck.I will stand on my soapbox and say a few prayers for you.

_________________________
M.A.N. ,
Boy who was trapped in society's nightmare & moving on thru healing & accountability.

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#15859 - 05/08/03 04:58 PM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
Victor,

I had planned to check your other thread last night, but we had some bad thunderstorms and I feared for my motherboard.
Yeah those mother boards can be real mothers!

Quote:
Sounds like a lot on your plate at once. I'm glad to hear you and your wife were able to laugh. Sometimes circumstances seem so ridiculous that laughing is the best response.
Yep. "Act crazy or go crazy!"

Quote:
I hope your back, neck, and shoulders can settle down after this. I've had some problems in the same areas after auto accidents, and I can empathize.
Quote:
If this is the first accident/moving violation in some period of time (varies by state, I think), your insurance company may overlook it in setting your rates. Sometimes listing the driver with the better record results in better rates, too.
Unfortunately it's my first one, but my wife & two daughters are also on the policy, and my youngest recently had a freak accident, not her fault, while the oldest just the night before last backed into a car while parking and will probably have to go thru the insurance.

\:\(

Quote:
I hope your wife doesn't have a lot of pain from the tooth. I don't think I have a single whole natural tooth in my head, and I've had incidents like what happened to her.
Not so far except when she has something cold by the tooth it hurts. She needs to get to the dentist right away.

Quote:
I read something recently in some 12 step literature about being careful what we ask our HP for. One quote was something like, "I asked for strength, and You gave me difficulties to overcome." Not saying that you asked for this, but maybe there's a reason for this all happening at once, but you haven't learned the reason yet.
Joe, I understand what you mean. I do believe that
my Higher Power uses the worst circumstances in life as well as the best and can bring good out of them in some way if I will work with it. That's the hard part. :rolleyes:

Quote:
Thanks,

Joe
Joe thank you bro.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#15860 - 05/08/03 05:02 PM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Victor
Sometimes it feels like we have big sign above us saying "dump here" and all the crap in the world falls upon us.
My bad time was crashing my wifes new Toyota Gti in a bad period like yours. ( the insurance on that is horrendous :rolleyes: - and I made it even worse )

But we've learnt new ways to deal with crap now, and I bet you'll cope with it all.

But it still ain't fun is it ?

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#15861 - 05/08/03 05:15 PM Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop…
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Matt:

Thank you brother I really appreciate your concern
suggestions & insights.

No fortunately we are not insured with the gecko


We're with the good hands people. So far they've been pretty good to us as far as insurance companies go.

Matt your prayers from the soapbox are sure appreciated! \:\)

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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