Well guys I'm all new to this and pretty nervous, i'm not sure how everything works on this site yet but here goes nothing. i realy having trouble writing about my events and verbalizing anything, i don't know sometimes what is real and what is not?

Hi hangingon.

Welcome to the site. Take your time in writing out your thoughts. No need to hurry. Share only what you are comfortable sharing. There is no pressure.

thanks this is a great place I hope, i have lots of questions

Hello, Hangingon,

Welcome to the MS site. I know that these first few posts can be intimidating, but you are amoung a great group of guys here who know and understand. Writing about the abuse history is difficult early on in recovery, because it is dredging up so much pain that has been stuffed down for a long time. Some survivors question their own memories of events because they happened so long ago, and some of them don't have conscious, ongoing recall of them - what I mean by that, is that they are having recovered memories as opposed to memories which have always been in their conscious memory. That's not uncommon, given the nature of traumatic events such as sexual abuse. The mind did what it needed to do at the time, which for some was to basically put a wall around the memories.

If you aren't already seeing a therapist, then I would recommend it as a trained professional will be extremely helpful in helping you move through all this. There's an excellent guide to selecting one that can be found on the main MS web page.

what is the moderator?

hanginon,
Welcome, sorry you need to be here, but glad you found us. Ask anything, anytime, anyway. We've ALL been right where you are now. These are the greatest guys. We've all traveled this road and they are able and willing to help you in ways that you can't even think of right now. you aren't alone - not anymore. Dive right in.
Paul

Thanks I am seeing someone one of many I have sen over the last four years

The moderators are guys who keep an eye on things on the board. they are the final word about what goes on here, but mostly they are just experienced guys who have been involved in MS for a long time. they are here to help, protect and answer any question you might have about things on site.
Paul

i finding out quicking that i should have found this place a long time ago, i just don't know where to start and where to end

why does it say member malesurvivor on some and new here on others