i had a really nice workout today -

which made me think how fun it might be to be a trainer.

i was working out - and initially felt like lead at the machine -

barely awake.... breathing heavy - and falling a little asleep

but then i built momentum. and

an older - very very heavy woman came in with a trainer

and started using 8 pound weights to lift - i was getting to the point of agression in the workout a little -

as i was awkward feeling - and waking..

but - i kind of saw my mind go into disbelief a bit - about this woman's small weights -

and it was ugly -

what if she is ill - she is older -

what if - what if - accident - surgury -

in any case - there's a problem here -

so rather than workout stronger - next to her - i slowed my motions down to be supportive

and the trainer talked to her very positively - she looked encouraged and a bit embarassed - frustrated

but i was happy to make this a workout of support.
no matter the body or level.


it kind of made me think of our boundaries -

i like helping - and positivity (though i can be weird)

- and - even still - when someone may not do something

'right' they may not know - how to think about it yet.

i do like the idea of healing.

but i do need to find a space to get out my own energies and crap.

i am be crabby - but i totally love having a sense of humor about it -

i can sort of see - the bad smelling expression on my face lol

just wahtever - i need to chill out -

I feel you.....the healing process makes me very stand off ish. I need my space and its hard for others to understand that!!

keep learning about it though pain -

you'll get the hang of it.

thanks for the generous support as always