your lucky i gotta go work or id stay here and kick your ass all day

ouch dude
fiting words there!
O shadow, ur my hero
i wish they had a symbol here thats
giving u the finger. thats wat im doing
rite now
u can drink the tequila ill stick to beers
then shave ur eyebrows off aftr ur sorry ass
passes out lol

oh and for the serius post
ya, ur rite.

It only seems hard to let people help.

Think about going swimming. If it's a hot day, the water always feels freezing cold when you touch it, and you're afraid to jump in. So you try to get in very slowly, a little at a time...it almost hurts! The solution is to just say "screw it" and jump in all the way, all at once. Sure, it will feel like someone just poured a bucket of ice all over you - but it only feels that way for a few moments. Then it starts feeling nice.

A lot of guys here don't have anyone to turn to and talk about things. Your sister is practically begging you to let her help. Take as long as you need to to make the decision - but I think in the end, you'll realize that it's worth taking the chance to jump into the water.

Trev and Shadow,

On the theme of doing it alone, I don't think any of us have ever managed that, though yes, a lot of us have tried. After the abuse ended for me I made it my personal quest to be alone - without really thinking about it. I shut out safe people who could have helped me, and well, I drifted into bad crowds of people who didn't give a damn about me and made a point of showing me that. But I didn't care. I thought I didn't deserve any better.

Looking back I can see why I did this. One reason was that the world seemed so dangerous. So far as I could see there was only one other guy in the world this had happened to - my best friend - and he had been abused with me. Even when we were alone together do you think we ever talked about it? Nope. One of us would say, "You okay?", the tears would start, and we would hold onto each other. But we never talked about it. The sense of danger was overwhelming. I felt like if I let my guard down for one micro-second I would get sucked down into some terrible pit - knd of like at the end of Poltergeist.

The other reason was that I figured the whole thing was my fault. My body had betrayed me, I didn't say no or try to get away, I couldn't protect my best friend, and on and on. I was sure I would get discovered sooner or later and would be thrown out of the house and end up in an orphanage. I knew I would be alone in the end, so why wait for the disaster?

All that was just the old false tapes playing in my head of course. What I really needed to do was to open up, take some risks, and allow safe people to help me. But back then (1963) a guy couldn't really see where any help was available.

Alone sucks guys. There's no answers in alone - not ever. But in a way you both already know that, don't you. Every word you two type back and forth to each other and to the rest of us proves again and again how important it is to talk.

Much love,
Larry

shave off my eyebrows?!thats cold lol!did you know if you do that it grows back as a unibrow? lol. hey mel is right about your sis ,i think she will help if you let her,heh but they sure can piss you off while they are trying to help! if you pass out first can you say mohawk? shadow

hey trev if you get bored you can go out and look at the stars ,if your lucky maybe you'll see uranus lol!

I know I have to hang around and see what the response to these two posts will be. Where's my popcorn?

Much munching,
Larry

(handing the popcorn to Larry whilst sipping a Coke)

trev hope your ok buddy