I know this is a real world
I know it
I know the things I touch
The things I see
The people I meet
Are real
I know that
Everything I believe tells me that

Then, why am I alone?

Why this strangeness in my life?
How can I be doing all these things
All these living things
And yet feel like everything I touch is false
Like some movie set
Some place unreal that I am wondering through

I keep waiting for reality to set in
To be able to say
"Yes, this is my life, this is real, this is where I live."

But I think now that perhaps it never will
That perhaps I'll wander this way all my life
Alone
In the midst of talking mouths
Movie sets
Emotions that I know I should feel, but can't
Cut off from life

Such a strange way to live
Such a lonely way
So hard to give things meaning, when you're not sure they exist
So hard to work towards goals that find fruition in non-reality
Motivation?
I've tried and tried to pull things in
To make them real
But they are not

He's so good, that other guy
The unreal one, who lives for me out there
He does his job
He laughs
He cries
A real human being
No, false
A false human being
In an equally false world

How to get out?
How to bore through these walls of fantasy into the world I know must be out there
My world
The one where I exist
The one where I can live
Can touch
And be touched in return

For here I only plan to wait for death
Maybe as I die, the walls will fall away
And at last I'll get to see what was out there all along
One short glimpse of heaven
All of you waving at me, smiling
And I will wonder how you got there
How you found your way out

One day to feel
Once to feel the cool breeze of life upon my skin
One day to be a real live boy

Bobby,



My friend, I genuinely believe you can acheieve this, right here in the real world of flesh and blood, joy and pain, triumph and defeat. I really do believe it.

Much love,
Larry

I echo roadrunner. Healing is not a possibility, it is a reality. And i'm going to send you some dyno-mite to blows them walls away. Joshua is on vacation.

froggy