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#155820 - 05/12/07 03:26 PM Re: Things boys discover [Re: EGL]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
359. Mixing your mashed potatoes and english peas together on your plate in the cafeteria in second grade because you're bored is not a good idea.

360. The duty teacher will make you stay after everyone else has left and eat the mashed potatoes and english peas you have mixed together, because there are starving children in China.

361. Seeing you sitting alone and crying over your mashed potatoes and english peas, your friends Laura and Lisa will come sit on either side of you and will eat it for you.

362. Laura and Lisa were pretty good friends.

_________________________
Eddie

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#155834 - 05/12/07 04:23 PM Re: Things boys discover [Re: EGL]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
363. Showing a girl how to collect frog spawn in a glass jar, will never help the the girl think that it is safe practise to do the same thing.

364. When your first girlfriend says no, and you know she really means it, dont flunk your chances with her best friend, who was
always there for you.

365. Dont freak out when you find that her best friend cleverly engineered the whole situation!

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#156680 - 05/17/07 01:05 PM Re: Things boys discover [Re: EGL]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Originally Posted By: EGL
359. Mixing your mashed potatoes and english peas together on your plate in the cafeteria in second grade because you're bored is not a good idea.


366. In food fights in the frat house, it's a bad idea to fire a spoonful of peas at the cook in the kitchen when she's standing there with a whole POT of peas, another one full of mashed potatoes, and the ultimate food-fight weapon ... a ladle.

367. If you don't know the meaning of bad words you have heard, don't seek the definitions by writing them on the wall of the room Dad has just painted...unless you have a sister you can blame.

368. Always remember that younger sisters can't do longhand writing yet.

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#157256 - 05/21/07 01:36 AM Re: Things boys discover [Re: roadrunner]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
369. Winter's snowballs can keep in the deep-freezer until summer.

370. Preserved snowballs turn to IceBalls.

371. You KNOW they are not snow any longer...you KNOW they are hard-as-rock ice...but you throw them at each other anyway.

372. IceBall meets forehead leaves a bloody gash.

373. IceBall meets car (while friend is inside getting patched-up) leaves a dent!!

So...its like 100% of my "good ideas" end up getting me in trouble! I've even convinced my 8-year-old son that this is just a reality for boys...we still snicker at our "good ideas."

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#157334 - 05/21/07 04:58 PM Re: Things boys discover [Re: Still]
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
I was an absolute angel as a child - anyone will tell you so!

374. It's not a good idea to go into a full staffroom of teachers and tell them that your friend has just pissed over the toilet wall, just because he managed to go higher than you did.

375. A dog will follow you anywhere if you treat it right. It also makes a good pillow when you both fall asleep in front of a coal fire in winter.

376. A dog will show you up when it keeps grabbing hold of peoples legs and trying to stick that pointy red thing into them.

377. If old people laugh to much, their teeth drop out.

378. Your brother and sister will not be happy to come home from school and find out that you ate 6 of their easter eggs in one go. You mother will realise why you were so quiet whilst she was washing clothes. You will be so happy, you will not care.

379. You shouldn't jump into a deep river if you see a shiny gold fish. It's lucky that you held your breath and somehow swam to the other side. Your mother will carry you home in a t-towel whilst everyone swans around you. Your mother will in later years tell you that you scared the shit out of her (not quite in the same words).

380. Covering your face does not make you invisible to everyone else, you just can't see them.

381. Old people always smell of moth balls and deep heat cream.

382. If someone opposite you at a birthday party eats too much ice-cream and is sick on his plate, it will not put you off eating even more. You will just think, 'what a waste'. You will hear some of the mothers wretching, but still you keep eating.

383. It is difficult to move afterwards if you have very large portions of savoury suet pudding, followed by large portions of sweet suet pudding. You will also feel very warm.

383. Your legs aren't really hollow as everyone keeps saying. It's just a growing boys appetite.

384. Your eyes aren't really bigger than your belly, so no need to keep checking in the mirror.

385. When you raid the fridge most nights during the night, it's a good idea to claim that you must have been sleep walking.

386. Adults laugh when they say you shouldn't, e.g. when the dog drags it's arse along the carpet.

387. Piglets and chickens are cool if you know someone with a farm.

388. Your mother will not appreciate it when you hand her a tin full of spiders that you spent all afternoon collecting.

389. Mothers should know better than to take a tin of a small child to see whats in it.

390. Sometimes when you are in the woods with your Grandfather, walking through millions of bluebells, and the sun shines on you, it's the best thing in the whole world.

391. When a gale force wind blows through the same woods, full of trees with dry leaves, on a really dark autumn night - it is the most awesome sound you will ever hear. You will stand there half terrifed, but not wanting to walk away from the ferocity you can hear.

392. If it snows and you build an igloo, it will eventaully melt, so you cannot become a full-time eskimo.

393. Your parents will panic for a whole week, if you get to your front door with your rucksack, aged 15, and shout: 'I'm going hitch hiking to Devon for a week' (370 miles)and promptly disappear. When you get back, they will say that they thought you were just joking. They will be so pleased that you have returned alive, that they will forget all about grounding you.

394. People are not happy when you put bangers up their drainpipes and then knock on the door.

395. Parents smell joss sticks and think it's dope.

396. Pissing out of your bedroom window is not a good idea if it faces onto the street.

397. If you find a purse and hand it in, you will get a reward. You can then buy the biggest ice cream ever.

398. If your aunt and uncle give you money to but them ice creams, and one for yourself, the money is supposed to buy all three, and not just an extra special one for yourself.

399. When your brother runs home to tell your mother that you have cut your chin,she does not expect you to walk in the door covered in blood from head to toe. She will not believe you when you said you did it watching a football match even if it's true (it was a boring match).

400. When you walk into the house with a broken arm, your mother will not believe that you did it falling over a little piece of barbed wire. You will forget to tell her that it was fastened onto a wall 15 foot above the ground.

401. Even 1 sour scrumped apple is too many to eat.

402. You can outrun your dad from an early age, but you still have to go back in the house.

403. Just because people can run fast over a short distance doesn't mean they can run for miles. *No my dad didn't catch me- it refers to the first time we did cross country running aged 11. I started off passing all of the sprinters one by one. I got to the front, and remained unbeaten all the time I was at school.

404. Sloworms move fast in the sun if you disturb them. You will think it's a king cobra, because it's not an adder and you don't know any other snakes. You will run faster than you have ever run before.

404. Throwing turps onto a coal fire 'that has gone out' will fill the room with soot.

405. Don't burst a zit in front of the mirror unless you know where the glass cleaner is. If somebody else in the house has spots, you may just get away with this.

406. A teacher hit on the head with a snowball you threw, will go purple with rage and take it out on the nearest kid laughing. Your shot was so sneaky, no one knew you did it. You will not own up.

407. The bloke next door that you thought was a mechanic is not. If he was any good, he wouldn't have welded his fuel linewith a tank full of petrol. Exit one camper van and half of the street evacuated. 10:10 for entertainment though.

408. Seeing a big woman slip in some dog shit, then land on her back in the middle of it, is very funny, even if your parents say its not whilst they are crying with laughter.

409. Your parents will look embarrassed when the waitress in a posh restaraunt calls you 'a good eater', just becasue you have eaten 2 adult portions and your age is in single figures. They will say 'The sea air always make him like that'. I will say: 'But we don't live near the sea'. Waitress will laugh and bring me another portion of chips on the house.

Best wishes ...Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#157357 - 05/21/07 08:28 PM Re: Things boys discover [Re: RICK57]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
391. When a gale force wind blows through the same woods, full of trees with dry leaves, on a really dark autumn night - it is the most awesome sound you will ever hear. You will stand there half terrifed, but not wanting to walk away from the ferocity you can hear.


God Rick! Thank you for that one!!! Shivers!!!

_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

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#157369 - 05/21/07 09:14 PM Re: Things boys discover [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Wow, Rik, so much beauty and reality in all that.

_________________________
Eddie

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#157440 - 05/22/07 12:34 AM Re: Things boys discover [Re: EGL]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16263
Rik,

It's good to get to know you better! \:D Thanks so much for that.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#157444 - 05/22/07 02:47 AM Re: Things boys discover [Re: WalkingSouth]
Chain Breaker Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 376
Loc: Michigan
That was terrific, Rik. Now I'm off to bed, I promise!

_________________________
My name is Joe. I am a survivor and a good man. You can count on me.

CB

"[Insert your name here], I am [Chain Breaker]. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"
--Wind In His Hair, Dances With Wolves

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#157445 - 05/22/07 03:00 AM Re: Things boys discover [Re: WalkingSouth]
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1205
Loc: NY
410. Playdoh looks really tasty and good to eat, its very dissapointing to find out that it tastes like cr@p.

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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