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#157268 - 05/21/07 07:45 AM expect
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i don't know if i can ever expect to have a partner

with me in my life or at the end of it.

i was lying here - just enjoying the quiet

and i realized - in the real question of - what i can expect.

i am pretty good at making a life for myself no matter where i go.

i am pretty good at keeping myself amused - cared for -

and - generally self providing with the staples of life.

so, what's the problem?

maybe there is none. it would be nice i suppose to have someone who

just wanted to be with me - but it really isn't required anymore.

i'm happy - oh there'll always be the twinge of what if - or regret -

but i am who i am - not everyone - is meant for every detail of children -

or whatever - i can see myself - continuing to make art -

to write and photograph -

if the man - who i on rare ocassion - i really like - likes me back -

then - that'll be great!

i've alread enjoyed some nice people here in Province town

there are really beautiful artists studios - that have me aspiring to

take a closer look.

anyways - i guess sometimes - the beautiful sunshine - the birds -

the bach piano french suite! - just make the 'perfect' space to

see your life.

i love this place, and i love my ms brothers.

Mark

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#157278 - 05/21/07 09:20 AM Re: expect [Re: markgreyblue]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Hey, Mark --

That's a great perspective. My parents have both been asking me lately,"so...is there anyone special in your life?" Well, yes. All the close people in my life are special. But no partner.

I've been lonely--I was in an 8-year relationship, and still was lonely. But now, most of the time, I'm pretty content.

I'd like to get out of my head more and just be quiet and look at the beautiful things going on around me--you seem to do that.

David


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#157293 - 05/21/07 11:52 AM Re: expect [Re: MemoryVault]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Mark,

Let me say this....just when I had given up on relationships and sex in general is when I found my partner.

I had come to peace with my life. I didn't need a man. I had a good job, a house , a good car....who needs a man? I really was not looking for a relationship at all. I enjoyed my time alone, yes I got lonely but still, it was easier to be alone.

I told my parents to stop asking me about it, it was my life, not their's and when someone came up I would tell them. There should be no pressure.....try to get that through to them (David).

But its funny, for once in my life when I was at peace and not looking is when I found my partner....don't try too hard (don't expect), it will come naturally.

So do you need a partner...No...we are strong on our own! But sometimes it is nice to have one.

Love,
Brian

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#157350 - 05/21/07 07:53 PM Re: expect [Re: pain4ever]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
david/brian,

i so like provincetown -i'm leaving tomorrow -

but i must say - i'm glad i came - and so glad it's off season - or early season

it's just about crowded enough for me -

in fact -

very different attitude from boston - so many from CA. too

anyways - it is nice to get to know the world in a new way,

it's been so nice. even if i work intensely again -

i'll always have the world around me.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#157471 - 05/22/07 09:49 AM Re: expect [Re: markgreyblue]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Never been to province town...I was raised in a VERY small and narrow minded town. However since I have been out I find it alot of fun to go to more "understanding" areas.

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#157492 - 05/22/07 12:16 PM Re: expect [Re: pain4ever]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
curiously, it is the first place the english pilgrims landed.

plymouth rock was the second.

the tower of provincetown is called pilgrims tower.

so - in essence, the truly first english landing in america

has become.... just a great gay place to be.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#157512 - 05/22/07 01:37 PM Re: expect [Re: markgreyblue]
David1010 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 46
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
My experience is similar to pain4ever's. I met my bf at a time when I was just fine with my life the way it was. I wasn't looking (anymore?) for a relationship, and I had no expectations whatsoever with him when we started dating. We are now together for almost five years and though or relationship is far from ideal, we are very happy with each other.


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