Bought a book yesterday, not knowing if I should read it or not.

It's called: Please, Daddy, No (a boy betrayed) by Stuart Howarth (there is a website which is his name, with .co.uk on the end)

It's about a boy (now a man) that was physically and sexually abused by his stepfather as were his siblings.

Stuart describes many of the feelings that are replicated here on this site, regardless of how we were abused. I'll not say exactly what happens in the book, as I know there is nothing worse than reading something, when you already know what will happen (I never could watch Apollo 13). The book may be heavy reading for some that are in the earlier stages of recovery.

I read the whole book this afternoon. I read it down a country lane close to where I live. It has a dead end, so there is no traffic & is a place of solitude. Only one tractor went passed all the time I was there.

The book brought up many of the emotions I have experienced over the years, but they're not as painful as they were. Stuart is a survivor who has fought back.

When I finished reading the book, I turned my car around to drive out of the lane. I was just reflecting how so many have lost their innocence to abuse, and even wondering if there was such a thing as innocence anymore.

As I approached the entrance to the lane, a young couple appeared walking a dog, and with a small toddler who was obviously just learning to walk. I slowed my car to a crawl, as the lane is very narrow. The young girl looked up at me and gave me a massive smile, and started waving at me manically like she was really pleased to see me. And there it was, innocence staring right in my face, it does still exist! That really got me!

Best wishes ...Rik

Rick, that couple had impeccable timing. I think sometimes things happen at certain times for a reason, and this sounds like one of those things. You needed a reminder of innocence at that moment, and there it was. Ironic, yes, but very meaningful! thanks for sharing this moment here, its encouraging... gives hope (and the book sounds like a powerful read too).

peace,
cpt.

Rick,

I haven't read this one but I heard it was good. Thanks for sharing your reaction to it. I personally think these books offer a valuable insight into one guy's healing journey, so each one of them is a precious testament to someone's courage and determination not to be defeated by the abuser.

I liked your observations on innocence. As that little girl showed you, innocence is still all around us. It's more easily snuffed out these days, but it is still there in each of us to start with, I think.

Much love,
Larry

I was stopped waiting to turn left at a stop sign today, and I had to wait quite awhile for a little girl on her tricycle to cross. I could've waited all day for her. What a sweetheart, she kept looking over at me and trying to hurry up, but I think she was just going slower because she spent all her time looking over and trying too hard. Brought tears to my eyes, innocence is alive, it's just the crappy adults that ruin it.

Stay strong
Mike

My wife and I were in a trendy coffee shop this afternoon (not *bucks). A couple came in with a little boy toddler no more than 2.5 years old. They both got their favorite caffeinated beverage and for the child they got a cup of chocolate ice cream.

They sat on a couch across from us, and as my wife and I talked I watched the little guy eat his ice cream cup. He was so very tidy and careful. He never spilled a drop. By the time he got to the bottom of the cup it had melted and he was having trouble getting it out with his spoon and into his mouth. Instead of just drinking it he very carefully poured several spoonfuls from the cup into the spoon and just as carefully transferred it then to his mouth, again never spilling a drop or getting any on his face or hands.

I was absolutely enthralled with this precious child. Such innocence and charm. It was a gift indeed to witness.

John

Rik,

A smile is worth a thousand words.



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