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#155163 - 05/09/07 01:09 AM USE ME like the BITCH I AM!
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Go ahead!

Fucking USE ME again and again

You make me feel like I'm 12 all over again

did you get your jollies?

All it cost me is .............FUCK THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#155164 - 05/09/07 01:14 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Hi, Robbie. I know, I know. I feel the same way, man. Really, I do. It's sick, perverted, and demented. And I told her/him/it that, too. Sorry you got caught up in it all. But please try not to let it distract you from your own recovery, since that is the goal of each person here - to get ourselves better.

Hugs to you, man. I know this sucks really bad.

_________________________
Eddie

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#155173 - 05/09/07 01:53 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: EGL]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Rob,

I hear ya, man. We give of ourselves and that is good and honorable. The thing I guess we have to consider at times like this is how we can continue to give without allowing ourselves to be hurt. For me that is much easier said than done as I'm sure it is for you as well. I feel like anything I say here will be so hollow, but please know that I care and understand where you're coming from. There are still many good people here in this place, you being one of them. Let's continue down this path side by side together supporting our brothers through these tough events.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#155191 - 05/09/07 05:09 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: WalkingSouth]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
sorry.............................rob....................................steve


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#155194 - 05/09/07 06:35 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: sabata]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Robbie --

You were the first person I thought of when I found out. I'm sorry. I spent a couple of nights up PM-ing "truth" too. I believe that what we did, what we offered--our time, our empathy, is worth as much as it was before. I'm proud of who I was when I chose to help. But it really sucks.

Send me a note if you'd like to talk about it. I promise I won't turn out to be a women's soccer team from Duluth or something. \:\)

David


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#155195 - 05/09/07 06:35 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: sabata]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Never let anyone make you feel ashamed or upset for being supportive and kind, EVER. And never let things like this make you hesitate in being supportive and kind in the future. All these people do, despite their manipulative and cruel modus, is prove that their targets are GOOD PEOPLE, like you.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#155197 - 05/09/07 07:14 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: melliferal]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rob,

There were a LOT of good people hurt by this, and for what it's worth, when this topic came up last night you were the first guy we thought of. But what happened reflects ONLY on him/her - it doesn't say a damn thing about you. Continue to be the good, courageous and noble guy that you are.

Stick with us, man. Focus on what you are doing and why. That's the best response, really it is. The best way to strike back is to show that you can keep going and will NOT be defeated.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#155201 - 05/09/07 07:48 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: roadrunner]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Robbie,

I feel you man. Its seems like thats all people ever want to do is use you in one way or another. We sacrifice ourselves all the time to that. Now you have to stop doing that!

You did nothing wrong or nothing to deserve this. We are here for you...just Scream, let it out!!!

Much Love

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#155205 - 05/09/07 08:42 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: pain4ever]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I'm sorry, I do not understand. I am sorry you was hurt by something.
VN


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#155206 - 05/09/07 08:48 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: VN]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
You have to remember that deception is always possible in a forum such as this. I am not bothered by his post(s), in a way I find him laughable and pathetic. I would much rather play video games or get high than to take the TIME to do what he did. (hint, get a life dude)

People like that can come here all they want, I won't be discouraged.


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#155210 - 05/09/07 08:55 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11053
Loc: Denver, CO
Rob,

I know. I feel pretty friggin' played myself. I had PMd "it" since "it" reached out to me. For all we know, the thread last night that gave the "truth" was part 3 of on ongoing experiment. The whole thing feels like crap.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#155211 - 05/09/07 08:56 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
buzz_key Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 635
Loc: USA
Robbie,

I don't know what happened, it sounds like someone was pretending to be a survivor and wasn't....can't IMAGINE why ANYONE would want to take on this..

Anyway...I am sorry brother, but don't let it veer you away from the course.

Good news: I am set up totally, and confirmed for the Mike Lew event!!!

Buzz


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#155218 - 05/09/07 09:28 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: buzz_key]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
rob i think its only intention was to do exactly what it did hurt as many people as much as it could ,it wasnt a him or her it was a fucking perp ,the only reason for the confession post was to make sure we knew we been used ,it didnt work unless we knew it was all a lie,fuck that pig rob ,so what if it was a lie?you gave your support and thats what matters,right? you responded exactly right and if it was a lie well then thats one time we got fooled ,but what about all the real survivors that you have responded to and helped so much? if we fall apart its the same old story ,that bastard wins ,hes not gonna get his kicks using my emotions against me.bottom line rob?you saw someone in need and you tried to help ,thats all.that does not change who you are or why you offered help. besides it didnt really care about posting or responses ,dont give up on the rest of us dude!i mean really is it such a big deal?all it is ,is we got a little of the real world here in this safe place. the only way i can describe what happened is we all got groomed ,yeah groomed just like when we were kids maybe thats why it hurts huh?dont let one asshole ruin such a good thing k?adam

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#155219 - 05/09/07 09:44 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Yeah, it was grooming.

1. Post some nice, supportive replies to other people. Offer friendship.

2. Post a really harsh self-hating one-liner guaranteed to get people to worry and post reassurances.

3. PM the people who respond.

4. Announce permanent departure from the board. Wait for people to welcome you back.

5. Come back next day. Return to Step 1. Repeat five times.

6. Change identity. Repeat entire cycle.


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#155223 - 05/09/07 10:01 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: MemoryVault]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
Rob
I dont know what happened either. Whatever it is, you are still one of the most valued friends in here to me. If it wasnt for all the support and good friends in here after the bad experience I had I ont know if I would have ever came back. I took on the victim approach and blamed myself for what happened.


So whatever it was that happened, I know you well and it was not your fault.

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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#155248 - 05/09/07 11:39 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
mack Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 101
Loc: new mexico
I get the jist of what happened. I know you spent alot of time with this person, hopefully it won't deter you from being the great guy that you are. Rob, you have helped me so much and it really pisses me off that your good nature was taken advantage of. This only serves to show what a caring, compassionate person you are. In no way does it reflect negatively on you.

_________________________
mack

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#155257 - 05/09/07 12:26 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: mack]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
also your not the only one who got sucked in rob ,i feel like a foool to but what the hell feel that way most times anyway lol

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#155261 - 05/09/07 12:32 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
I wrote a PM to someone who was hit by what happened really hard. I thought I might share it here, for what it's worth:

What I will say is that regardless of anything else, your willingness to help others shows your character. In an environment like this, we have to take what we see at face value until we have reason not to. Who knows when the person we are talking to on the other end really needs us to keep sane, or even to stay alive? If we treat every person as though it were real, even when we find a deception, then we don't have to worry that we might have let one survivor we could have helped slip through.

Just my thoughts...


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#155293 - 05/09/07 02:05 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Dewey2k]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Guys,

What happened was this. Someone calling himself "Dan17" came on-site and began talking about abuse issues, claiming that he was at a party with mainly older guys, who got him drunk and then abused him in various ways. After a point this person announced his birthday and re-registered as "Dan18" and continued as before. He posted various aspects of his problems, but mainly he repeatedly said he was leaving for good, but then kept returning. Each time, of course, this served to focus attention on himself. He also PMed various people (including me) to talk about specifics and get into sometimes grim details of the abuse.

Finally he PMed me to say that he really was leaving for good, and I imagine he did that with others as well. He did in fact disappear, but almost immediately a new person registered as "Older Brother" and claimed to be Dan's sibling. He said that Dan had disclosed to him but that he had overreacted and slapped him. Again there were PMs, and again the result was to focus attention on the guy.

Last night, someone registered as "Truth" and admitted in the Off-Topic Forum that the whole thing was a fraud. The poster is an 18-year-old girl, a cutter, who is interested in abuse issues. She apologized and said she deeply regretted messing us about like this. That post attracted some comments, of course, and late last night the admin decided to remove the thread.

As I and others have said elsewhere, this person is a classic narcissist. She needs to have attention and craves it - positive or negative doesn't matter, it's the attention that she needs. People like this have serious issues of their own and of course don't belong here.

I know some guys have reacted strongly to this and feel they have been abused all over again. That's exactly the reason why the mods are so vigilant and keen on security issues here on the site. The last time we had something like this was in 2004, so considering how many people come and go here, I think we have a great record.

If anyone has worries or concerns, the best thing to do is TALK about it. Talk to someone you trust here: one of the mods or a close friend, for example. But don't sit and stew on it. That's no good. This is a terrible thing that has happened and it causes a lot of harm. But let's hang together and we can all move on. The really important priority is that this should not hijack what we are trying to achieve here - for ourselves and for each other.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#155296 - 05/09/07 02:22 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: roadrunner]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Very well stated, Larry. The only thing I would modify in that is where you said "The poster is an 18-year-old girl" -- obviously, whether that is true is doubtful as well.

As you and I have talked about this offline, I stated that I had some suspicions about "Dan" early on, but unfortunately I didn't raise those concerns to a moderator earlier than I did, which was just a few nights ago. By that time, the mods were already starting to focus on him, which culminated in the event of last night. I don't want to see the MS board turn into a witchhunt with us looking for perps under every rock -- but I do think it illustrates something that we all need to learn from this, new guys as well as the old-time members. And that is that we need to recognize the internet for what it is -- a wide open space, and we need to keep ourselves safe, or as safe as we can be. If you have concerns about a poster, please voice those concerns to a moderator. I wish I had done so earlier. The mods are here to handle this kind of situation, and while they are roaming the boards a lot, they may not pick up on a lot of the nuances of a poster that could raise red flags. MemoryVault outlined it very well above, which are the things that raised my suspicions. While we are each here for our own recovery, I think we each need to help keep the community safe as well by being the eyes and ears of the community.

Larry's last point of talking about the aftermath of this is very important. This horrible breach of trust has shaken a lot of us, and rightly so. Please don't let this cause you to turn inwards and towards isolation, because we are all too familiar with that. Talk about how you feel and what is going on inside, it's important to get that out.



Edited by EGL (05/09/07 02:33 PM)
_________________________
Eddie

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#155306 - 05/09/07 03:54 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: EGL]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

Originally Posted By: EGL
The only thing I would modify in that is where you said "The poster is an 18-year-old girl" -- obviously, whether that is true is doubtful as well.


Very true, bro. We don't even know THAT!

I should say that I was entirely taken in until "Older Brother" showed up. That struck me as suspicious, but I continued to talk to the person just in case it was all legit. Frankly, apart from feeling absolutely betrayed, I felt pretty ridiculous. I thought my radar was better than this, though at the same time yes, I feel these issues should be reported to the mods and then left for them to handle behind the scenes.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#155307 - 05/09/07 04:00 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: roadrunner]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
All,

I have demanded that the admins pull me from MS without delay.

There's too much about me on this site right now and I need it all gone right away.

I cant tell you how devastating that was. This keeps happenning to me over and over. Clearly its a flaw within me.

This has blown trust away and I dont know how to recover without trusting people. I feel as if I have been pushed back to where i was pre-disclosure. I do feel like SUCH a FKG FOOL right now.

I wish i had not disclosed at all.

If I return, it will be all different. But I need to be removed fully from this site without delay.

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#155310 - 05/09/07 04:13 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Robbie, I never looked at this post, as the title is triggering.
I thought the same thing, that I was some bitch waiting for it,
maybe this needs to go in Kens book, as it is pretty common.

Nobody is a bitch in here, just men,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#155311 - 05/09/07 04:17 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: roadrunner]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Quote:
Last night, someone registered as "Truth" and admitted in the Off-Topic Forum that the whole thing was a fraud. The poster is an 18-year-old girl, a cutter, who is interested in abuse issues. She apologized and said she deeply regretted messing us about like this. That post attracted some comments, of course, and late last night the admin decided to remove the thread.


I got sucked in by her.
I should have known who she was, she caused havoc in
here last time

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#155314 - 05/09/07 04:35 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: reality2k4]
Chain Breaker Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 376
Loc: Michigan
Originally Posted By: EGL
I had some suspicions about "Dan" early on, but unfortunately I didn't raise those concerns to a moderator earlier than I did, which was just a few nights ago. By that time, the mods were already starting to focus on him . . . .

But how, Eddie? How did the mods and you all sense this and the rest of us just get completely sucked in? What was it that tipped you off?

_________________________
My name is Joe. I am a survivor and a good man. You can count on me.

CB

"[Insert your name here], I am [Chain Breaker]. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"
--Wind In His Hair, Dances With Wolves

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#155315 - 05/09/07 04:35 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! *DELETED* [Re: reality2k4]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
Post deleted by shadowkid

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

Top
#155317 - 05/09/07 04:45 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
lets put it this way. Get me off of here Now...and I'll return without so much about ME here.

I want My Story GONE NOW! I cant delete it. Its locked.

My DOB is on the site...i cant remove it.

I was not sure what fields were going to appear when i set up my account.

You got no idea how vulnerable and foolish i feel right now. Its something from my past that was burned into me for good.

So, one thing I can do (because this place has been my lifeline) is clear all about me now and RETURN.

I have heard about these people and one of them has clearly targeted me. Please let me cover myself without guilt.

Im in severe crisis now and need to be safe.



Edited by Robbie Brown (05/09/07 04:46 PM)
_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#155318 - 05/09/07 04:45 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11053
Loc: Denver, CO
"no fucking perp is gonna make me doubt my friends"

I hear that. I have people on here that I have connected with and built trust with. I am not gonna leave them over this.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#155319 - 05/09/07 04:45 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Your attitude is just what she wanted, so you fall into her hands
This woman, if I am right, was kicked some time ago, pretending to
be a man.

Dont let the current issue affect you, until the mods describe what happened, I guess, they can explain some of it,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#155320 - 05/09/07 04:47 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: FormerTexan]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11053
Loc: Denver, CO
"You got no idea how vulnerable and foolish i feel right now."

I feel I have a good idea about that right now.

Spent two hours talking this over with two friends on here last night, along with a PM exchange with another friend on here. Today I kept an open IM exchange about it with someone, and still looking to keep myself afloat.

Anxiety in and out today.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#155321 - 05/09/07 04:56 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Chain Breaker]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Originally Posted By: Chain Breaker
How did the mods and you all sense this and the rest of us just get completely sucked in? What was it that tipped you off?


I got sucked in for a long time. I'm not mad at myself for that--hope you're not, either. I like the fact that I can still be innocent and trusting. Even when I was getting annoyed at the game-playing, I still thought the story was basically true.

But I started to notice --

--Nothing was getting through to "Dan" -- it was like talking to a tape loop of self-blame.

--He'd make remarks that were guaranteed to provoke a reaction. Older brother--"I shouldn't have slapped him." No context. Everyone's forced to go "What???" He PMed me out of the blue once with "It makes me sick...very very sick." Okay, what does?

--I haven't gone back and counted, but he announced he was leaving forever and came back the next day, I think six times in a month.

--When he did offer support, it was almost too much - "I love you all." "You're my big brother."

I don't know. Right now, I'd like to believe that I was talking to a real kid, in real pain. And maybe even she doesn't know what's driving her. Maybe she will realize she is a survivor of something after all (no big stretch of imagination there!)


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#155322 - 05/09/07 04:57 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: FormerTexan]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Adam and Ste are very correct in their posts above. This kind of riot here is exactly what "Dan" was looking to achieve. It's the ultimate climax to it all. Staying here, supporting each other, and moving forward deprives him of all that. We have the ability to pop his balloon and throw water on his fireworks. It's all in how we react to him.

CB - MemoryVault posted the following above:

Quote:

1. Post some nice, supportive replies to other people. Offer friendship.
2. Post a really harsh self-hating one-liner guaranteed to get people to worry and post reassurances.
3. PM the people who respond.
4. Announce permanent departure from the board. Wait for people to welcome you back.
5. Come back next day. Return to Step 1. Repeat five times.
6. Change identity. Repeat entire cycle.


I became concerned at step 2 above because it seemed out of character with his earlier posts. When he went to step 4, I became suspicious because of the repeated, prolonged, and manipulative tone of it all. That was the major item that really sealed it for me. When "Older Brother" appeared, I was 99% convinced he was a fraud. A few nights ago, I had even typed "You're full of shit!" into the reply box on his thread, but at the last minute didn't send it. I instead started a dialogue with a moderator about my concerns at that point.

Robbie - I believe you can edit any personal information out of your profile that you want. If you need help, please let me know and I'll be glad to help step you through it.

_________________________
Eddie

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#155323 - 05/09/07 04:58 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: FormerTexan]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Andy, I was not calling you, I hope you got that,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#155324 - 05/09/07 05:01 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
This has blown trust away and I dont know how to recover without trusting people.

I wish i had not disclosed at all.


Rob my friend

So because of what this person did all of us are supposed to suffer from it. You know you refer elsewhere to this place as your lifeline, so this is what I have to say : you are one of my strongest lifelines right now. Does that mean I will hae to suffer the consequences as well.

You refer to trust being broken. We didnt break that trust. We all have to trust in here. I entrusted you with information I have never shared with other people. To me that was a risk I was willing to take. To me it feels as if I will be rejected by you if you leave. You remember our agreement, my promise to you. My friend I am holding onto that currently for dear life. So the only thing i want to tell you is by leaving you will not only leave a void in here but it will have a ripple of consequences for some of us who trust you and needs you.

Do what you have to do but please consider the consequences for others in here as well.

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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#155325 - 05/09/07 05:03 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: pietie]
healingpartner Offline
Guest

Registered: 04/04/07
Posts: 407
I know I am not supposed to post here, but I am desparate.

Rob is not responding to my calls, emails or anything. I don't know where he is. I don't know what flights he is supposed to be on or if he will be on it.

I am terrified beyond words

any of you who are believers, please pray.

I am desparate...I don't know what is going on.


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#155326 - 05/09/07 05:05 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: pietie]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Dont feed the donor!
Guess who? Is feeding with the anger they create???

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#155327 - 05/09/07 05:07 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: healingpartner]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
Lorie

You have my prayers.

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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#155328 - 05/09/07 05:17 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: pietie]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11053
Loc: Denver, CO
ste,

You and I are ok. I was responding to Rob's post.

Lorie,

You got it.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#155330 - 05/09/07 05:54 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: FormerTexan]
healingpartner Offline
Guest

Registered: 04/04/07
Posts: 407
Thank you all for your prayers.

He called. Will be home in the morning.

Sounds like he has calmed down.

Again, thank you for your prayers.

And I am sorry I posted here...I just didn't know what to do.

Love you all


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#155331 - 05/09/07 05:54 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: reality2k4]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
boy do i feel so dumb...........i had no idea what rob was talking about ..on this post...........now i know........i never dreamed that some one would come here and do such things......for some crazey reason.....i felt this place was safe..................i just figured everyone here was real....and thier needs were real......boy am i in such a unaware place...............................Steve


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#155333 - 05/09/07 06:05 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Originally Posted By: shadowkid
well then lets all just say fuck it and leave,personaly i dont see how what happened has anything to do with those of us who are not lying, personaly i feel like im getting fucked by proxy ,i can understand how the trust was damaged but i feel shit on twice as bad being told that maybe i cant be trusted now. i didnt know dan 18 well but i thought that the rest of us knew each other well enough to be able to get through something like this. i know im not singled out but i am part of the site and if you cant trust ms then i guess you cant trust me either . you do understand that this is exactly the reaction that dan hoped for right?to screw up the only place we had left . no fucking perp is gonna make me doubt my friends and if i get burnt ?wont be the first time ,wont be the last .but it will be woreth the risk,sorry im not angry at anyone here im just pissed in general


Adam, I won't leave!!!

But I need to be deleted NOW. There's too much stuff and I'm too vulnerable as I am currently represented on this site. I clearly have been targeted by this person or organization and need to make this all as safe as possible NOW.

I'll re-register under a new profile.

But PLEASE dont be upset with me. I'm feeling very vulnerable right now. This keeps hapenning in my life. I keep getting used. I trusted too much!!!

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#155334 - 05/09/07 06:11 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: sabata]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
This may sound callous, and I apologize for that. I'm not picking on Rob individually, and I'm sorry, Rob, if you feel that way- it is not my intention. The situation points out something that I've seen on a number of occasions, both personally and on-line.

What happened here sucks. Betrayal is something we all know to some extent. This betrayal is doubly bad because of the trust that has been shattered and the emotional wounds that have been inflicted on souls that have been already wounded beyond measure.

However, betrayal is something that we as survivors must learn to deal with in our healing, as well as operating in a space that is not safe, or even hostile. In this instance, the gut instinct is to run far and run fast to get away from the pain and vulnerability. In this instance, I think that could be a mistake.

There are people here who are indisputably genuine, and those people are easily identified by their longevity on the site and the wisdom their words impart. Those people can be the best support in a time like this when one is struggling to rebuild the willingness to put oneself out there again. Running away from a place where one can communicate with these people could certainly be counterproductive. It allows one to dwell over the circumstances of what has happened and allows the negative energy to entrench itself. By staying and talking, by working through the fear and pain with people who are genuine and wise, one can stop the backward slide and again start forward.

Again, I'm sorry if this feels like I've singled you out, Rob, but maybe this will help.

I hope you stay.


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#155337 - 05/09/07 06:39 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Dewey2k]
philobat Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/31/07
Posts: 293
Loc: California
Hey Guys-

Rob stayed at my house last night and is a home away from home for him when he is on business in my city. He is okay, he is just pissed off and rightfully so- and he wants his personal story, posts, and personal information deleted. This must be respected and honored. He simply wants a new handle to be able to start over on MS and disclose a little more carefully.

Naturally when something like happens it just re-stimulates all that crap all over again- and in Robbie's case- its pretty intense.

I think the best thing in this case as I have read this thread- it seems many of you have suspected this asshole under different handles for quite some time. These suspicions should have been reported to a moderator and this individual should have been under surveillance. It is the duty of all of us to report suspicious activity to the webmaster and board members.

I remember when I had some rather heated disagreements with Nobby and there was no hesitation in my being turned in to a mod!

My point is, if there is a doubt or a concern and/or any kind of red flag- it needs to be immediately reported. I had a suspicion that an ex of mine had logged on and it was checked out immediately.

We have to look out for each other, and most of the time we do. Malesurvivor has done wonders for many of us and they continue to do their level best at keeping this place safe- but they need our help.

Don't be afraid to report creepy activities- if it turns out to be nothing- then no harm done.

Just my $0.02

Much love,

Philobat


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#155338 - 05/09/07 06:47 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Dewey2k]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
All,

I am sorry if I'm weak. Been that way ever since then.

Sorry I run. I always have.

Sorry I'm not tough enough..never have been.

PLEASE realize this: I had an employee once. He came to me with an array of problems. I was in my twenties and was fully fkd-up on drugs and alcohol to keep this CSA beast of mine in check. I told this employee to "suck it up and get one with life just like I do." He promptly killed himself!!!

Ever since then, I cant help but want to help people. When I see a kid like Dan-IT, I HAVE to help. How could any of us NOT???

BUT...It used me..IT got off on my story and ALL the details I had to share with IT to keep IT from hurting ITself. I shared things ....fk it.....I sent IT photolinks to try to keep IT happy. IT knows such things about me!!!!GOD damn her!!!

If THIS can happen, then my fears over "MY STORY" are likely true. That is people are "getting off" on my horrible story. On what happened to little Robbie.

Little Robbie has suffered long enough. He was use like fkg MEAT! Now I lead him to what was supposed to be help and he gets used again!! I gave IT Robbie on a siver platter!!!

This place has been a lifeline to me. So...I'll do what I do so well...TRUST some more! Traust again. Stick around for MORE!

But I WANT MY STORY PULLED!!!! I WANT MY D.O.B. CLEARED! NOW!!!

I hear the best way to clear all that crap is to assign a new username. So make me RobbieLives!!! Just get my stuff off of here NOW! I hope no one else ever sees my story again!

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#155347 - 05/09/07 08:04 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
There is another way to look at this whole thing Rob, (which I apparently do.) I could give a shit less about who reads my story, I'm not embarrassed, and I'm not ashamed. Not only that, I will readily admit, to anyone that has the slightest HINT of my my troubled childhood, about how screwed up and dysfunctional I am to this DAY.

I suggest to you that you do NOT change your ID or your profile. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of or embarrassed ABOUT.

If this means anything to you Rob............seriously ok? I'm quite proud of the man you've become, (not implying that you're striving for my approval, but I know what you mean to your wife and children) I guess what I'm trying to say is: "Why hide?" You are a GOOD guy. You've come to a forum like this to help deal with some problems and some unexpected shit came up, so WHAT? Fuck him. I would have forgotten about this guy already except that it's still an issue for YOU, hence my practical advice. Let him go and be happy knowing that you're not so fucked up as to be like Dan17.

Goodbye Dan17, you're a pretty good liar. Have you considered running for office?


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#155351 - 05/09/07 08:23 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
istrong Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/20/07
Posts: 79
Loc: CT
Hey Rob, you probally dont know me, im kinda new here only a month or so, and well ive read some of your posts and talked with you in the chatroom. Honestly Rob, dont stop helping people your really really good at it, you may not know this but you really have helped me these past weeks. What Dan-IT did was dispicable, but dont let that stop you, your a great guy and i respect your strength, dont let a little turd like Dan-IT stop you from doing what your great at, helping people and listening.
Sorry for rambling i just wanted to return a little of the help you've so generously sent my way.

_________________________
"Go then, there are other worlds than these"
-John 'Jake' Chambers

I'd rather be above the grass than below it.

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#155352 - 05/09/07 08:37 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown

I am sorry if I'm weak. Been that way ever since then.

Sorry I run. I always have.

Sorry I'm not tough enough..never have been.


Rob,

You are not weak, and you are tough enough. And I mean that for all the other guys here as well. Just making it through that minefield of childhood proves how strong and tough we all are.

Someone made a suggestion above that if there are guys here who are feeling unsafe due to all this, that maybe you can spend some time just posting on the members side. That's a GREAT suggestion, because I myself went through a period of about an entire YEAR doing just that because I felt unsafe after a similar episode as this last year.

The main point, though, should be not to shut down because of this. Keep yourself grounded and know that there are genuine people here at MS who care about your safety and recovery.

_________________________
Eddie

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#155355 - 05/09/07 08:45 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Guys,

I would like to suggest that the first thing we need to do right now is honor how we all feel. Let's look at ourselves first: ask yourselves how has this incident affected ME and what I thought I was doing in my recovery? If you feel hurt, betrayed, unsafe, alarmed or whatever - - talk about it. We all have close friends here; that's the way a place like this works, as a community with all sorts of little sub-communities humming and buzzing along. Go to your friends here, say how you feel and ask for the help you need.

Let's also look around to each other. No two of us will react the same way, but each of us could use a word of support and understanding right now. Cast a look around the site, find a hurting friend and ask him how he's doing. Listen if he needs an ear. Remember also that some guys will be sitting quietly, not sure what to do or think. And let's give some special support to the new guys. If you've been here a year and are feeling rocked, imagine what it's like for the guy who's been here a week.

And let's also support our mod and admin team. These people do one hell of a job and spend enormous amounts of time keeping this place safe and comfortable. Almost all of that work is unseen and behind the scenes, and it's based on state of the art technology, constant vigilance, ongoing training, and a non-stop dialogue in search of new and better ways to keep this place safe. I am sure the lights have been burning in Modville non-stop since all this blew up, and personally I am 100% sure that everything that can be done IS being done. But let's remember that hindsight is always 20/20, guys. And if the mods can't explain every move that's being made, that's because if they did that they would have time for nothing else.

Finally, let's make sure we hang together as a community of committed survivors: committed to our individual recovery and also to each other. We DO need each other right now. Let's not start doubting each other because of the foolishness of some idiot (and I do think that's all she was). Yes, it's true that this is the Internet and we can never be 100% sure we are safe here. But it's also true that I can't be 100% sure that I'm safe at the desk where I'm sitting right now. What I DO know is I can't live my life on the assumption that I am in constant peril.

It's all about boundaries, as a very wise friend used to tell me when I first came here. If you have any doubts about something, report it to the mods. It's okay. If you feel uncomfortable in chat, leave for a bit. That's fine too. If you feel you have to take a break off the site for a bit, that's okay as well. Eddie comments on the Members' side, and that's a great idea in any case; over there whatever is said can only be accessed by other members.

Push the limits of your comfort zone, sure, but at the same time be clear about what you are doing and saying and how that is going to help you here. At the end of the day, alongside the work of the admin and mod teams it's confidence in ourselves and our ability to keep to good boundaries that keeps us safe here. Let's do this together.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#155358 - 05/09/07 08:49 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: EGL]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
All,

Stop focusing on me. This was more about the deception perped on all of us. I got pulled in really close to IT. But stop with me ok.

I should not have posted my intent to delete. I want to slip out of sight as Eddie suggests. The mods have pulled my story and I am VERY happy with that.

BUT, I hurt some friends here with my reaction. I desperately hope they can forgive me. This thing threw me SO hard back to 1972 ...back when I realized just how used I truly was. I got to tell ya, last night was BAD. Had I not been a Philo's house, I would have been in big trouble.

Today, however, I just wanted to disapear. But I NEVER wanted to leave you guys.

ADAM!!! Please forgive me!?

_________________________
Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

Top
#155361 - 05/09/07 08:54 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rob,

Originally Posted By: Robbie Brown
BUT, I hurt some friends here with my reaction. I desperately hope they can forgive me. This thing threw me SO hard back to 1972 ...back when I realized just how used I truly was. I got to tell ya, last night was BAD. Had I not been a Philo's house, I would have been in big trouble.


I don't mean to focus on you at all, I just want to say I don't think anybody needs to be forgiven for anything they have said. We are all letting go of what we think and how we feel. This is the place for that.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#155370 - 05/09/07 09:25 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
I did not interact much with this person, so I guess I don't feel the same way as some others who have been really hurt. And I don't want to bust out with condescending platitudes like "I know how you feel", because - well, I don't.

But, for what it's worth, I'll share a bit of something; I've seen similar situations on other boards I've been on. I talked about them with some others last night. I call them "sympathy vampires". On most forums (MS is an exception - I'll get to that), they can be easy to spot eventually. They tend to make similar claims; they typically claim to be female, will make frequent off-topic posts referring to "her" personal life, and almost without exception claim to have been horrifically abused as children. But they don't stop there; their need for attention leads to them making ever more outrageous claims about themselves and their family situation. By the time they're finally "outed" and exposed, they'll have claimed to be a victim of dozens of different crimes, and sufferers of dozens of different (and usually terminal) serious medical ailments, over their lifetimes. In one particularly extreme situation, a certain sympathy vampire (who was starting to be widely disbelieved) threatened suicide and stopped posting. Then someone claiming to be her "sister from across town" registered and started posting, claiming that the SV actually "did it", and that she (the sister) came to this site (the forum I'm talking about, not MS) because "she mentioned it in her note". The site admins figured out the hoax and banned her.

Everytime this happened, VERY NICE people in those forums who initially trusted these people felt like rubes, and became very subdued. Sure, being led on and betrayed happens to everyone; but never so completely and to such a degree as on the internet. The internet's anonymity is as dangerous as it is beneficial; "on the internet", I remember one forumite saying, "nobody knows that I'm really a German Shepherd."

It's even more difficult in a place like this; the SV's are harder to spot because 1) this site deals with extremely personal issues as a rule and 2) we regularly hear about things so terrible that they are almost unbelievable - except for the fact that we know, personally, that they actually happen. Not only that, but the consequences for wrongfully identifying someone as a "troll" are much, much graver.

We can help people out here. We reach out to each other, despite our insecurity and trust issues. That is a virtue this place brings out in us. There will always be people who try to exploit the kind and selfless. I, for one, refuse to allow those people to turn kindness and selflessness into WEAKNESSES; they are STRENGTHS. "Easy for you to say," you might think - after all, haven't I admitted that I didn't have as much of a stake in this situation as some others? True; but, forget the source for now. It will take a couple of days for this thing to blow over - maybe more than a couple of days for some. But when that time is over, PLEASE be the same person you were before this mess started. It may make you angry, but it doesn't have to change who you are.



Edited by melliferal (05/09/07 09:27 PM)
_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#155373 - 05/09/07 09:30 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: melliferal]
dannym Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Perfecly said, Melliferal. Thank you!

Dan

_________________________
"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

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#155374 - 05/09/07 09:35 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: roadrunner]
Chain Breaker Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 376
Loc: Michigan
Larry,

I appreciate the wisdom and calm in your post. I feel a sense of peace when I read what you have to say. When you summarized the things we all need to do in response to this person's betrayal, I could tell that you were right, and that this is a good process for all of us to follow.

Peace and love to everyone.

CB

_________________________
My name is Joe. I am a survivor and a good man. You can count on me.

CB

"[Insert your name here], I am [Chain Breaker]. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"
--Wind In His Hair, Dances With Wolves

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#155381 - 05/09/07 09:42 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Chain Breaker]
Chain Breaker Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 376
Loc: Michigan
melliferal,

Thanks also for your wisdom and perspective. They are very valuable traits, for when you share them, you enrich everyone. Keep on posting, brother!

CB

_________________________
My name is Joe. I am a survivor and a good man. You can count on me.

CB

"[Insert your name here], I am [Chain Breaker]. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"
--Wind In His Hair, Dances With Wolves

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#155384 - 05/09/07 09:54 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Chain Breaker]
VN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
Well, I know of such things happening before I come to here, and it do effect of how I feel here. There is people I trust, and people I do not know enough to. There is people that I do not feel comfortable sharing more with, and that is quite fine to me. I am here for myself. I am here for 'healing' of myself, and if I can offer help to anyone else, I will do so. But there is very few people here that I have communicate enough with that I have concern with outside of here. Perhaps it is not 'right' way to deal of it. But much of here, it disappear to me, emotionally, when I close off the computer. It do not mean that the lives of others is not real for them. But how much can truly be real for me? And I expect it, that for most people here, their thoughts or concerns on me will disappear as they turn off the computer also. That is just how it is to me here.

VN



Edited by VN (05/09/07 09:55 PM)

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#155407 - 05/10/07 03:18 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: MemoryVault]
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
My radar kicked in with the big brother thing, posted in F&F.
The dialogue did not make sense, ie, "I slapped him"! What for??
Thankfully, these things are few and far between, but we need to
be vigilant against these trolls.

Let us move forward from this episode,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#155409 - 05/10/07 04:28 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: reality2k4]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
This is happened few times before, but I been member here 3 years, and only few times. It is very hard, it is feel very much like 'betrayel of trust' when it do happen, and more difficult the more close you have got to the person. It is understandable that there will be upset, and people pulling back some their information, private information. I have done that also over the years I been here, most specially with my 'story'. I post it public, then delete, then post it on member side, delete. Finally, I think it was a year or such ago, I post it again, public, and just leave it. But I do not give so much information I use to on public forum, the more private information, anything that could maybe help to identify me 'outside' of here, I keep to certain people, or at least to member forum. We all must do what we feel comfortable of, and do what feels protective of ourself. I do not say it is anyone at fault, who get 'caught up' in this event, because I was caught up very much at last time this happen here, with member here, and it is what I have learned from. We are here responsible to ourself first, and we deserve the safety of taking our time to get to know someone else, and to trust if we have bad instinct of other persons.

Andrei


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#155663 - 05/11/07 02:53 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: ak]
coldwarrior Offline
New Here

Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 24
Loc: Belgium
I have been around this website for a while now. I registered recently, wondering if I would active on the forum and such things make me sick...

Some people should be shot. For their own good and the good of all mankind.

Per Aspera, Ad Astra.

_________________________
Don't like my Oooah ? I love it.
But I have another :
Scutum Belgarum (Shield of the Belgians)

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#156624 - 05/17/07 09:26 AM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: coldwarrior]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
coldwarrior,

I see you are new on the site, so I just want to express a word of welcome. I'm glad you found us and I hope the site can help you. If you feel upset at any time, it's perfectly okay to back off a bit and then come back later when you feel better. Make yourself the prority here. Post and talk about things if you can; that always helps. But mainly come here with the idea you will be able to keep yourself feeling safe and comfortable.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#463147 - 03/25/14 02:49 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Still]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
felt like that for a long time
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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