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#154964 - 05/08/07 12:24 AM Dave is his name (*triggers*)
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Dave is his name,
He's so refined,
And a psychologist as well.
I am amazed at him,
What he is, what he does,
What he says, how he says it,
What he gives me,
Everything about Dave is right.
He's a world I never knew,
And he invites me in
To his world,
So I come in.
It is so gradual,
So very, very gradual,
And I am such a broken boy.
He knows it,
But he doesn't have to ask,
And I don't tell,
It's written on my forehead:
"Fuck this broken boy."
We become close, very close,
I trust Dave, so much,
I want him to be what I need,
"Please be what I need, Dave."
See this thing between us,
It's gathering steam now,
"Do you like rear entry sex?" he asks,
"Have you ever done it like that?"
I don't care what he says,
I just want him to be
What I need.
All the others weren't what I needed,
But, Dave, oh, I think Dave....
He puts his arm on my shoulder,
As we sit in his shop,
He asks about my day, my friends;
He knows I have none,
They always go away,
But he asks anyway.
It makes me see how much
I need Dave.
"Here's some reading material,"
Says Dave,
And I see women, naked women,
Dave must really like me;
And I like Dave.
I'm totally broken down now,
It's all set to begin,
I won't tell,
Because I have no one to tell.
But now Dave goes away,
Far away, leaving me,
And I thought he was what I needed.

_________________________
Eddie

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#154966 - 05/08/07 12:41 AM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: EGL]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11047
Loc: Denver, CO
Eddie,

I can relate with what happened in my late teens, having someone fill a need in me, even if it wasn't right. I know it didn't feel good at the time, but I'm glad Dave went away from you before he hurt you.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#154973 - 05/08/07 02:03 AM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: FormerTexan]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

I remember. Wanting it all to be true, needing so bad for it to be true. But it never was, right? Like Andy says, I'm so glad he took off before a hurt even worse began for you. But I wonder if that helps 14-year-old Eddie much. Hold onto him and help him see these bad days are over for good.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#154977 - 05/08/07 05:06 AM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: roadrunner]
pietie Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
Eddie.

I also identify with your poem. Ditto to all the above comments.

"And I thought he was what I needed".
That one struck a chord with me. Only difference is I believed him for so long.

_________________________
Not Perfect, just forgiven

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#155309 - 05/09/07 04:12 PM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: pietie]
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
(((Eddie)))

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#155382 - 05/09/07 09:43 PM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: Bobby]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Thank you, guys. I appreciate your support. It really means a lot to me to know that you hear me. I'm going to continue this poem on in a follow up post, because I feel like I have some more I need to say through it.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#155394 - 05/09/07 10:50 PM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: EGL]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
(continued)

...
But now Dave goes away,
Far away, leaving me,
And I thought he was what I needed.
Shame rises,
Shame at what I
would have done,
could have done,
might have done,
For Dave.
Shame for liking it
when Dave told me
I was good looking.
Funny, I thought Dave meant
the way that girls would think
a boy was good looking.
But I knew I wasn't good looking.
Stupid, broken boy -
Why were you so stupid?
Could you really not see
what Dave wanted?
Or did you not care?
Dave was the goal,
Dave will like you,
Dave will be
what you need him to be.
But now he's gone.
You're empty again,
just like all the times before.
"Dave, Dave, Dave."
He's in my head a lot,
Why did Dave leave me?
What was wrong with me?

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#155833 - 05/12/07 04:20 PM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: EGL]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
....continued....

"Dave, Dave, Dave."
He's in my head a lot,
Why did Dave leave me?
What was wrong with me?
So many things I wanted for
Dave to be.
"Dave, will you be my father?
Will you love me, be kind to me?"
I don't think my father loves me,
I know he doesn't like me.
So many things I wanted for
Dave to be.
And I'll be whatever
Dave wants me to be.
I don't care
what he says, or
what he asks, or
what he does, or
what he wants me to do,
I need to focus on Dave.
All of it,
is a small price to pay
to have Dave be what I need
Dave to be.


_________________________
Eddie

Top
#156155 - 05/14/07 06:52 PM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: EGL]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
....continued....

"Hey, Dave - FUCK YOU!"

_________________________
Eddie

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#156208 - 05/14/07 11:54 PM Re: Dave is his name (*triggers*) [Re: EGL]
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Like the last line. Like it a lot. \:\)

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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