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#154715 - 05/06/07 09:39 AM ...a comment on relationships heard last night.
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i went to a charity event and silent auction last night
invited by a new friend - and his friends- first a dinner party

and then a huge event down at the "Roxy" at the Hotel Marriott Tremont -

a very pretty place -

we were standing around drinking and being entertained and talking.

and

a guy said to me - who has been with his partner for a long period of time -

and is engaged to be married -

talked suddenly about the nature of relationships - as he saw it -

he saw me single there - chatting with other men ocassionally -

and having a nice time - and then i mentioned to him - how i felt 'such a floater'

and was kind of noticing my own impulses that i just giggled about

- funny.

the night was glamourous - and everyone looked beautiful - but it was just that -
surface - fun - for a good cause too - really fine fun.

he started to talk about how - when you're in a relationship - you can be intesntely in lvoe and stuff -

but then also at other times - you are each growing at different times -

and then you both have to adust to that change in each other -

he said it is really hard - but worth it i guess? - i am not sure how to do that adjusting - or what that means in total -

but i think maybe as anyone we all have to take life and stuff one day at a time.

not really sure how else to.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#154716 - 05/06/07 09:49 AM Re: ...a comment on relationships heard last night. [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
(ps- i did meet a nice couple from paris who are living here temporarily) stefan or simon & olivier. really nice guys. and hopefully I will see them again really soon.)

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#154731 - 05/06/07 11:31 AM Re: ...a comment on relationships heard last night. [Re: markgreyblue]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

Originally Posted By: markgreyblue
he started to talk about how - when you're in a relationship - you can be intesntely in lvoe and stuff -

but then also at other times - you are each growing at different times -

and then you both have to adust to that change in each other -

he said it is really hard - but worth it i guess?


I think your friend is so right. A relationship is no good at all when one partner has the role of constantly validating and supporting the other, even at the expense of his own feelings and needs.

Each needs to have the freedom to change, develop and grow without fear of the other's hostility, insecurity or mental checklist of our past failings and shortcomings. No one can make another feel wonderful or special as a one-man project. The trick is to learn to feel wonderful and special for each other as a spontaneous expression of love and trust.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#154751 - 05/06/07 03:24 PM Re: ...a comment on relationships heard last night. [Re: roadrunner]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
yeah - larry - i remember - too he said

the more and more he lives

the more he thinks it really difficult if unfair to look to one person
to be your 'everything' -

in fact - i had heard in a few forms prior - most recently from my friend Jessica
"ellee ven" (buy her records folks! hehe) and she said 'you should have a system of people who keep you positive -

it's true - Jess - Stephanie and I write these "keep positive" emails to each other

- and sometimes we're all happy at the same time - and sometimes - one of us -
is in a "meltdown" and who's ever there - does some propping up of the one who is
in a spirallling down... \:\(

anyways - yes the checklist thing -we cannot do Larry - I feel afraid of that myself -

and so - it's just bizarre - some drag up the past - and that's

impossible to ever fulfill - anything we do - could perceptably be wrong - in that case - let's stick with those - who think - what we naturally do -
is pretty right - mostly lol i guess

i guess that's sort of 'an answer?'

boop! dunno - i gotta work off some of this 'baby fat' lol

now that i've birthed this post

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#154752 - 05/06/07 03:24 PM Re: ...a comment on relationships heard last night. [Re: markgreyblue]
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
laytah!

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#154904 - 05/07/07 07:32 PM Re: ...a comment on relationships heard last night. [Re: markgreyblue]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

Good luck in all this. You deserve the very best!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#333835 - 06/15/10 09:27 PM Re: ...a comment on relationships heard last night. [Re: roadrunner]
Pattycakes Offline


Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 109
Loc: Canada
I think markgreyblue's post is absolutely beautiful... thought I'd bump it up.

Enjoy !

Pattycakes



Edited by Pattycakes (06/15/10 09:28 PM)
Edit Reason: grammar mistake
_________________________
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-Mother Theresa




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