Understanding

What if I was never born
How would the world change
Very little would be different
My family might not be estranged

The truth could stay hidden
The others would never tell
They lack the conviction
To condemn someone to hell

My boys would have never been born
At least not with me as their father
Tammy would probably be happier
Maybe then even have a daughter

The people I've hurt in life
Would not have the pain I cause
They would have never had to suffer
Nor know how I caused their loss

My father wouldn't fear
That someday I would kill
And make those poeple that wronged me
For life, lose their will

The people I work with
Wouldn't have to try and compete
They could take their time about it
Not worry about the numbers they must meet

The Military wouldn't have had
A soldier they couldn't train
To waste all that money
On someone that was possibly insane

But if the truth never did come out
No one would ever know
Why my brother is a crackhead
and sister is a lost soul
Why they suffer
Yet hold it in
It causes their soul
To erode from within
To feel for others
It's not easy to do
When you don't care
How others feel for you
To people like us
feelings means shit
When we make others feel pain
We actually enjoy it
It's not our fault
Something we did
Were just not right
Messed up as a kid

No one would understand

Dude,

ok, so i have read this for the fourth time now, all i wanna say is

it would be very very very different

you do make a difference

you matter a lot

i am glad your here

your poems say a lot of the things i can only think, you found words in places i only had hurts

thanks for being,

John