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#15287 - 05/06/03 06:47 AM Hope and Springtime
hanginon Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 89
Loc: sarasota, fl
Dear brothers,
Last week, I was looking for hope. Hope to get better and to heal the wounds of my past, hope that this was possible and I was not "doomed" to a lifetime of dispair and misery.

My T is working out well for me. I made some major breakthroughs last week about my anger and the shame that is so closely tied to the rage inside of me. I finally watched the movie, "Ma Vie en Rose" (My Life in Pink), which my T recommended I see. It helped me tremendously!

So much so, I finally agreed to see my ex-partner to talk about our recent split up. I was strong and vulnerable with him, honest about the work I've done and how much getting to a new plateau has been good for me. I surprisingly didn't feel pangs of hurt or regret around my "failed" relationship. I understand why this happened and am grateful that we are not together. I love him deeply, but I don't actually like him very much - if that makes sense.

At any rate, we spent a couple hours talking and walking our dogs and I left with a sense of dignity that I had lost since I spent Christmas with him and his family. I left him, went to a nursery and bought some plants, went home and planted them in the garden as a symbol of my new life without him in it.

I am sad that love eluded us in the end but thankful that I have the ability to leave it behind me. I feel GOOD and had an amazing Sunday afternoon with a fellow survivor in Washington, DC.

There is hope, brothers. It gets better if you work at making it so. I hope you all have a peaceful week.

John

_________________________
walker, there is no path, you make a path as you go...

(caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar...)

Antonio Machado

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#15288 - 05/06/03 08:14 AM Re: Hope and Springtime
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
John
Dignity is something we fight so hard for, we've been deprived of it for far too long.

I'm glad you found yours, I hope the plants grow as well as you do.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#15289 - 05/06/03 12:30 PM Re: Hope and Springtime
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
John Glad to hear that things are moving forward in your life. Enjoy the plants as they grow and you begin a season of healing. Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#15290 - 05/06/03 04:30 PM Re: Hope and Springtime
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
John this is so good to hear. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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