my god, another lesbian has saved my life!

(suze orman)

I just turned on the tv - and she talked bluntly about money -

- She said - as women (and maybe gay men) she said -

when we have a relationship with something - we take care of it and love it -

because we do -

she said - but with money - we don't - no relatinship or a dysfunctional one best -

- what would you do - she said IMAGINE What's possible if you had power over your money - in your life - anything at all -

wow - why is it she hit the nail -

on the head -

i'm sick of the low esteem crud - i do feeel - have felt - powerless to change my life -

so - what do I want to do - if I felt powerful over my life-

no shame - Move to Miami - and be fabulous :)!

what do i need to do to regain power with relationship that are not working?

do what's necessary - to say - change my relatinoships with my moeny - and jsut do it -

yes - I think i will

yep!

later dudes

what a wonderful and insightful woman.

thanks. - agreed.

thanks for commenting too.

Mark,

i think you will be fabulous wherever you end up.

Much love,
Larry

thanks larry.

i just am wrapping my head around - what happened this year

and why i had such a hard time - snapping out of it -

my world was really - shattered - in addition to healing- and all that -

i can't think about it - but i know - that i think i was wrong to think i have to really work hard to deserve

a few good things - honestly i am tired - and fat - yuck! - i want to workout -
and get healthy - and i will -

in truth - i feel like doing light shopping - i think i said to you -
and just have a nice time with my hubbie - that would be fine with me -

i really just want a nice home life - hands down.

Mark,

Looking at your last post here I can see why you would feel overwhelmed - you really are trying to look at everything at once. there's nothing wrong with that, and sure, sometimes we do need to have a go at the big picture. But if we do that with the idea of trying to figure out all the details at the same time, we are sure to feel like we are going through meltdown - because we are!

Does it make sense if I suggest that if you're thinking of the big general questions, be content with general answers? And if you're thinking of matters of detail, don't try to deal with ALL matters of detail at once?

Your main point I think is absolutely right, by the way. You don't have to work your butt off to deserve a few good things, although lots of us do think that way. It seems to me that's a variation of the old "I am worthless" tape. That is, it's a way of saying, "Just as me, I deserve nothing; if I want good things I have to slave just in order to deserve them, much less get them." The truth is that Mark, just as himself exactly as he is right now, is as deserving as anyone else and always has been.

Much love,
Larry

true.

YES! -

it's wild -

i have had to learn to mitigate

to normal thinkers thoughts -

like sometimes - i coudlnt understand - relaxed -


whatever - i think i may sell all my collections- and my home in Toronto -
since the work permit - HAS STILL NOT HAPPENED -
so - whatever- i'll have a bunch of cash -

and -look into some kind of investment - no biggie -

one step closer - to relaxed.....

i mean - i am learning to relax -

it's hard to express - anyways - i've often thought - everyone thinks i am expected for big things -

i kind of don't really need that now to be happy -

i am ok with myself - i know i have talent - but executing some big plan - please

no thanks - day to day happy - is my thing -

just "me"

anyways - i think i over think things too much -

the whole mistakes thing - it's a drag - total depression

and also the plain - ouch - of being scorned -

so larry - i guess - as any of us must - it's time to just find my happy - again

a few years of travel was great - i've tasted west - east - south and north

after years of saving - and collection -and investing -

now - to just plant my feet -and rest - and do real calm stuff -

i told someone performer today - i would dig community theatre. hehe

too many ideas -

laters